You know you have complex trauma when......

[DharmaGirl]

And they are so delighted by this!)

Oh yes! My brother said the same to me!

 

[BlackbirdSinging]

When you can be triggered by something or you can be triggered by nothing because you've been traumatized when something was happening and when nothing was happening.

When quiet is soothing but silence is triggering.

 

[Laurie2001]

when you can't get out of bed because you feel frozen with anxiety and fear even though there is nothing scary around you. When it is scary to do little things because getting out of that frozen state feels too dangerous.

 

[Ronin]

Levels of stress approaching other trauma in your life remind you just how painful it was, back then it was your normal and didn't register.

You don't know how to answer the question when did your trauma happen. (Whaddaya mean? There's something every year. Blessed when not every month. Making it every day makes it feel more controllable. It's when you stop feeling it hurts.)

Categories like perpetrator x victim really don't make sense, deep down. Except for other people. Then it's even doable.

Sharing little details feels like too much exposition & floods you.

You find it hard to say what was your primary trauma. (Do I go with how many it left departed or how close they were? Whaddaya mean, how it felt to me, I don't want to know.)

 

[Pilgrim]

I feel so sad and upset, reading the posts in this thread. It hurts so much, both the truth of all the things said here, and the knowledge of the pain we all share in our own unique ways. I hurt for all of you. And, I hurt for me, too. I could have written almost everything here, too. Although I think you guys said them so much better than I could have. I'm impressed though by the expressiveness here, too. We have a lot of strength and good qualities, even in the midst of perceived weaknesses. We hurt, and we rock. Strange combination..

 

[Zef]

You know you have Complex Trauma when your whole hometown scares you.

 

[new gamma rays]

You know you have complex trauma when, in the middle of a flashback at night, you have to remind yourself you are not in the hospital being traumatized - just so you can return the flashback you are having in your house because you were traumatized there too.

 

[new gamma rays]

Or when recording the major traumatic events that happened in one year time span is too daunting, because there were too many different ones - and you don't want to return to the ones you're temporarily blocking out.

 

[rogue bird]

When you used to close your eyes to not see the "bad things" happening during the traumas, but now you have to open your eyes to not see/relive them

 

[The Albatross]

You know you have complex trauma when your surviving parent tells you "You are just like me" and it flips you out, offends you, and triggers off an inner critic thought cascade that shreds you into little bitty pieces.

 

[BlackbirdSinging]

When you can't tell if your thoughts are distorted or not.

When you don't mean to but you end up getting upset by distorted thoughts because you're not grounding yourself and trying to stop them from affecting you so much.

When you read into everything people say and don't say and you read into everything people do and don't do.

 

[Ronin]

When you read into everything people say and don't say and you read into everything people do and don't do.

Snort. Guilty as charged. Best damn phrasing of that ever.