You Know You Have PTSD When...

[Friday]

... When you trade one trigger for another... Because the other is a f*ck load darker, and will clear away all of the messy "life" bullshit, and you've dealt with it a helluva lot longer. f*ck the hot. Bring on the cold.

 

[Friday]

... to which you whisper panicked you want to hear everybody's f*cked and nothing's going according to the plan because crisis goddamn calms you down & restarts your thinking, what is this Happy Normal Life b.s.

:roflmao: This is so my life right now.

 

[Ronin]

When you play mental bingo with this thread & are happy you score at least somewhere, every day!

Reminders of deeper trauma cheer you up, because whoah, triggers drag back what you couldn't put together from pieces, and more making sense is good, even when you feel like shit.

 

[BlackbirdSinging]

When there are too many sounds and the tv is too loud and everyone is talking all at the same time. And it feels like your ears are going to explode. And you can feel yourself losing your patience and you're trying to still be courteous but you feel like you want to scream. And all you want is for everyone to stop talking all at the same time and turn down the volume on the tv before you scream.

 

[Recovery4Me]

When you are at the dentist and that is not the part that concerns you...it is the fact your chair is facing the wall. So you angle your head to look behind you and size up the instruments on the tray for backward thrust if need be.

 

[HypnoticallyChaotic]

...when your mind feels like it suddenly goes to pieces when you end up insanely stressed out and you feel like you've got different mentalities that keep flipping around, and just trying to get anything done becomes an adventure and a half. Memory? What's this thing called memory?

 

[Ronin]

When fragments of memory don't bother you because they existed forever, what bothers you when it's the wrong fragments for the picture you need.

 

[Ocean5]

- When you awake up at 4am. Your body already in shock or tremors. Decide it's best to have something to drink, because that has less side-effects than medicines you have.

- Still can't get nightmare from previous night out of your mind.
Also thinking it's bad you are finally starting to remember nightmares because they are really messed-up.

-Writing this post, realizing I must have woken-up from a nightmare or night terror. Glad I don't remember it.

 

[Crow]

When the work place thanksgiving potluck sends you spiraling down and all you can do is make it home and crawl under the covers for hours on end hoping that the world doesn't implode.

 

[illusionist]

When having a bad day you can't recollect a simple word like parsnip. You stare at it, hold it, but nope the word won't come to you. The more you try to recollect it the more stressed and frustrated you become, making it impossible....

Two hours later...." those parsnips are lovely" .....the word flows from your mouth without having to even think of it....thinking how did I lose that earlier?

 

[Anrish]

When it feels like doomsday if you forget your mp3 player and have to ride on the subway...

 

[Lionheart]

...when someone touches you without permission so you grab them by the throat and hold them a foot off of the floor, nearly choking them out and screaming in their face the entire time that you are going to kill them!!!

This was a while back, but it happened to me. I was prone to violence for awhile and this is just one of the things that happened.

I didn't feel like an adult so it was strange to me that I had so much strength.