You Know You Have PTSD When...

[Changing4Best]

When you are dissociating so much you're mistaken for a statue

This happened to me once! When I realized what was happening, how they were seeing me, I stood still and played the part. I didn't smile or laugh or anything. Eventually they left and walked away. They were not sure or they got bored, I guess. I'm glad they did not touch me though, I would have freaked out if they did. I suppose they eventually must have noticed that I was breathing ever so slightly, hee hee....

 

[Karen12]

After that you felt you had to add "If the convo was real, though" because your days and dreams float together into a huge mess where nothing's really clear at all.

I was just trying to explain this to someone not ten minutes ago. It's tough to try and get someone else to understand that you live twice the existence that they do, in the waking world and the dream world and it all blends together as part of your life experience.

Mine for today: freezing in a social situation because you feel awkward or embarrassed or ashamed, or you simply don't have a context for processing and responding, and the other person assumes you're being aloof/standoffish/rude/annoying and reacts accordingly and there's NO WAY to try to undo it or explain what was really going on. That has been the story of my life.

 

[Deleted member 27340]

It's tough to try and get someone else to understand that you live twice the existence that they do, in the waking world and the dream world and it all blends together as part of your life experience.

YES! My buddy asked about the text today, something along the lines of "And by the way, what the f*ck did you mean by 'if the convo was even real'?" I tried to explain, but because everyone in my group always have lots to say about whatever, I didn't have the time nor the words to do so. This buddy knows about most of my problems, though, so I guess he was more concerned whether I'm suddenly experiencing psychotic tendencies.

freezing in a social situation

I can relate so much. Usually I joke it off, humour is a great part of my group. I'll say something like "oh sorry I went to Jupiter again". "Jupiter" is what I always use when I've been somewhere, mentally or actually physically gone there, but don't really wanna tell people about it. It works because we don't have technology capable of making such a journey, it would take way too long and Jupiter is made of gas. People will know that what I just said is impossible (yet), and -- if they possess some social intelligence -- probably understand that I'm not intending to clarify the subject any further.

--

You know you have PTSD with depression and anxiety tendencies when you don't even consider yourself to be *that* depressed, but decide to find a depression test because you're bored and curious about yourself and then proceed to score 93 out of 100 possible points were 100 is the most severe depression on that test.

 

[Deleted member 27340]

When you put your shuffle playlist of fall-asleep-music (shuffle because you're too lazy to find an album) and set it to automatically stop after 2 hours of playing time, and are still awake to hear the music stop after those two hours... your metabolism has also gone so freakishly high from the exercise (which should've helped you sleep) that even if you eat a full dinner before going to bed you'll be starving before falling asleep and kept awake from the hunger...

 

[Seagreen]

You are driving and realise you passed the turn off to your destination half an hour ago.

 

[Seagreen]

When the plane is going down and you are the only one calm enough to remember the emergency procedures. luckily everyone survives. 6 months later you finally realise the plane is going down and start to panic.

 

[ISupportHer]

When you can talk all day to a stuffed dog, but not utter a word to your therapist.

When your stuffed dog IS your therapist.

 

[Ellabella44]

(from my early 20s way before I knew I had this, didnt find out till this year)

Your purse for dating, contains the usual brush, keys , cash along with a knife and several other sharp objects ( just in case)

You dont date a recent combat vet you knew from high school because the look on his face, you've seen on yours and youve never been to war.

A co worker slaps you on the back and you reflexively turn around to attack them, and restrain yourself from doing so, they ask why youre so mad.

(past few months after waking from supression and quitting drinking as coping mechanism )

your reiki medicine bag is full of grounding stones

You wear at least 14 security objects including the stones

clothes you wore when supressing everything seem to be someone elses stuff and is uncomfortable.

your husband tells you things hes sure you know, and you hate the look on his face disbelieving that you dont remember he told your supressed self.

you go for a walk to clear your head, quickly think what if someone attacks me here, then you laugh because what possibly could they do that would harm you ... nothing.... spend rest of walk in fight mode just daring someone to even try and looking around you just in case.

you tell your husband you are now open to sleeping with someone else in your bed as well as him... sadly its your comfort stuffed animal

hearing Maroon 5 - daylight " when the day comes ill have to go , but tonight im going to hold you so close" makes you think of your stuffed animal you sleep with.... inducing a bout of the giggles that lasts for a while.

talking to your husband about what is bothering you consists of writing it down and running like hell.

your protector self stress cleans leaving husband pleasantly surprised and wondering why you are tense.

going to bed means taking something to make you drowsy and saying goodnight to everyone... who comes up last minute fighting off the effects of what you took to sleep.

 

[BlackbirdSinging]

When you don't want to go to sleep at night because you don't want to have nightmares or disturbing dreams. And while you want to wake up and try to have a good day the next day you dread the distorted thoughts that will start when you open your eyes.

 

[Ronin]

When f*ck the world's a good morning, f*ck all they know everyday mood, and staying, for f*ck's sake, a wish for tomorrow. (quoting someone, found it so applicable)

 

[Recovery4Me]

When you think you are being calm and just firm when you offer an,"No, I will not_____." statement.
But everyone's eyes flap wide open at your response.

 

[Changing4Best]

When you finally start having a good day, after all this mental/spiritual battle that has been disrupting your world for days, because you prayed and prayed for peace and God has been bringing it to you slowly but surely!