You Know You Have PTSD When...

[Changing4Best]

Now I will get personal. I have a "friend" that is very surface oriented, always she is fake to my way of seeing her. I honestly think she hates me, but puts up with me. I see her as a person whose husband is willing to help me, so I put up with her. I don't really see her as a friend. So I play the surface game along with her, while I admittedly take advantage of the fact that she and her hubby give me a ride to church and back. I hate this untruthfulness on my part, but I don't have a solution. Getting someone else to take me to church seems the right thing, but there are not a lot of folks who are willing to do that on a regular basis. Since I need a ride to church, I'm stuck.

None the less, life goes on. Thanks for listening. (Well really that is for reading:) ).

 

[myheart]

Since I need a ride to church, I'm stuck.

I don't have an official answer, but it seems to me that it would please God more if you would kindly end the whole relationship of getting a ride to church from these people, and call upon God with your need for a ride to church. (That way you would place it in His hands whether you would be able to go or not.) I can't believe that God would want you to keep up a pretense of a false friendship just to go to Church. I think it is very, very commendable that you are willing to suffer much to get to Church and worship God, but to me, this doesn't seem right. Since God is Truth, I would think He would want you to live by the same principle as much as you were able to. I myself can't go to church (for my own reasons) although I miss it so very much, but I have found church services online to watch, which is a wonderful gift!!! (If you can't find any, please let me know and I'll help you!)

 

[Ronin]

@SheilaKathy , you're doing what you can with what you need, and you're both going by agreed on terms, I don't really see where the issue is? You're not disrespecting her by not disclosing your feelings, she's not making the atmosphere heavier, you're respecting yourself by admitting to how you feel here, and God's getting both of you in church on time. Plus her husband obviously likes both of you and he isn't made to listen to arguments that'd stress him up this way. To me it looks like a win-win situation, you're all getting your needs met, except well, universal love.

 

[myheart]

@Kaia I love your post! I think it's more helpful than mine is!

 

[Anrish]

You know you have PTSD when you spoke your mind...and make someone apologize...but still feel like you're the one to blame and that you're incompetent of dealing with certain issues.

 

[Let It Be]

When you go to your mailbox to get your mail and you find an envelope that has your brother's name and return address on it. The handwriting is not his, and then you begin to tremble with just knowing that it came from someone I had to stop talking to.

When I opened the envelope, I found there was just one picture of me when I was in high school, that was it, nothing else, nothing.

Can't believe how he still affects me.

 

[Lucycat]

You know you have PTSD when...

you realise that you are addicted to the PTSD forum.

 

[holdenmonty]

I'm with you there @Lucycat, work is luckily not to crazy busy right now so I spend quite a bit of time on the forum but also sometimes at home on my phone.

You know you have PTSD when at times you hear the smallest noise like somebody pushing on the top of their retractable pen but not fully pushing it down but at other times can hardly hear what somebody is saying

 

[holdenmonty]

you know you have PTSD when... You answer the phone and take a message for somebody else but you have to ask them what their name is even though they said it when they introduced themselves because you have already forgotten.

 

[myheart]

but still feel like you're the one to blame

Got it. Had that experience today in fact.

 

[myheart]

even though they said it when they introduced themselves because you have already forgotten.

That is very insightful!! To me it shows that our minds can be elsewhere while we go about living our lives.

 

[Ronin]

When you still have something to add to this thread, despite the fact you went silent to the rest of your processing, bc it's 'oh. that bullshit I'm not dying from, so not worth the mention'.
When you remember all the arbitrary reasons your therapy didn't work and then you decide it's just fine because you still have medication, and years before that you didn't have even that.
When you go back to sleeping with your weapons instead of a boyfriend because people, you let down, but what kind of an asshole would insult the knives spirit, not you.