I would never ask J about his trauma ! He shares voluntarily and I just listen.
^^^ This. When mine talks trauma, I stfu. He doesn’t need me to pontificate on the most horrible experiences of his life. He just needs to purge every so often, and I facilitate that.
Understanding & Obligation? Are seeeeeriously linked, unless something else supersedes it. Something else with weight. Like parent/child weight.
Is it the obligation to the person you tell it all too? Mine says he could never be in another relationship if we ever broke up because he can’t go through all the work of telling the stories again. I’ve already heard them by this point… at least all the ones he’s willing to share. Maybe I am the one obligated in that situation?
It doesn’t feel like an obligation. It feels like I’m lucky to have him.