Your T's Touch Policy

[GingerAli]

At the end of my session last week, my therapist asked if it was OK to hug me. I said yes, and she did. For me, if I trust someone, I welcome hugs from them. Although there are few I trust. I feel loved and accepted by it and I would imagine, (once again only if I trust them) that a hug would also ground me. She was very careful to ask, and I felt it was professional. However, I am a female and she is a female. I would most likely be triggered by a male therapist hugging me.

 

[mytai]

I'm happy that it was a positive experience for you GingerAli.

 

[GingerAli]

Thank you, but I can understand how it may bother others. I'm sure different types of trauma can make a difference on what will and won't trigger each of us.

 

[mytai]

It's true. For me anything unexpected or unwelcome is triggering. But my T and I had a conversation in therapy about her touch policy, what she will and won't do with a client, also what is ok with me. Everyone is different. Some of us need touch and others of us don't want it at all.

 

[Hashi]

I can hug kids with no problems. Of course, they aren't threatening

Are you serious? I wasn't going to reply to this thread because I thought it's nothing to do with me. I don't hug people and whatever she does with other clients I don't know or care - my therapist is not going to hug me.

It was your "of course, they aren't threatening" that really got to me. Of course? Of whose course? If a kid tried to hug me I'd happily throw it under a bus driving at full speed along the road. Just want to put that "of course" into perspective.

 

[mytai]

@Hashi your post made me smile, and giggle to myself a little. Hope that doesn't offend you.

I personally deflect hugs from kids I don't know. I can "tolerate" hugs from kids in my immediate family, but if don't tolerate it from others. I'm someone who was forced to hug someone unsafe and abusive as a child and so I'm very select with who I "tolerate" hugging. I don't actually have anyone in my life anymore that I feel safe hugging.