How?

[The Albatross]

Believe me Snowflake, there have been many, very many times I friggin' wished I was crazy... but why go with the feeling instead of the solutions?

 

[ladee]

@The Albatross, I completely understand wanting to be crazy! Wishing that that part of me that still needed to live, to find answers, to be part of the human race, was not there.. I wasn't even able to express it like I just did. I remember so many times, thinking, just let go and go on over the edge. Hell, you stand there enough wishing for it...j just go ahead!!!! But that scared me even more than what was going on at the time... On some level I understood I still was able to make choices. altho tiny baby step choices to remove myself from the edge... Have been there so many times before therapy, and many times in early recovery....
So thank you for sharing that... brought me back to how hard things were then.... there is HOPE, we DO get better and are able manage our symptoms....

 

[anthony]

How does one get over being needy? Or feeling small?

WOW... two very contrasting things.

Firstly, you don't get over anything, you work through it.

Needy -- that is a process that starts at you identifying what you are needy about, then trying to understand why, then looking at alternative rational behaviours, then implementing them. That is the simplicity of the process.

I suspect that there are other factors behind needy that would benefit prior to the above though.

Feeling small -- why do you feel small?

 

[SeekingAfrica]

i am not crazy! I am alone!!!!!! I just want someone to tell me my feelings are normal-I don't want to...

Hugs!
We all feel that way sometimes, and when you're triggered it happens more often...Since I started having PTSD I had 2 or 3 periods of few months where more things were going wrong and I had almost constant need of support and understanding and just generally help, lots of it. When you feel that way, probably nothing will cover all your needs, but that feeling will ease off as you get better. In the meantime, it's okay to feel needy. You're going through something big, and everyone needs support at such times. Personally, I think it's rare that you can get those needs by one person, you or therapist or someone else. Just combine everything you have that can help you.
Think on what are your needs and how/who can meet them...
Can you get support from friends or meet more people?
Do you have good therapist?
Do you have books that deal with this?
Do you have online support, family, SO, support groups?
Do you journal and do other self-care things for yourself?
I think combination of any and all of those may be good.

You have needs that weren't met, and I am guessing that is the understatement of the century. You will need to honour that child in you, listen to what she is needing and do whatever is possible to get it for her.

I think this is helpful for me too. I am so good at pushing down needs when I'm not ready to deal with them. This makes me look at it in a different way.

This may or may not be comforting, but... just about every survivor of child abuse feels this way.

I didn't know that...might explain some things about how I am since I started dealing with my issues :/.

 

[Snowflake]

WOW... two very contrasting things.

Firstly, you don't get over anything, you work through it.

Needy -- th...

Hi Anthony -

First I feel needy-I need someone to care, listen, almost take care of me. I think it's the little girl wanting this.

Feeling small-I feel like a little child wanting attention, wanting someone to take care of her. I am immature.

 

[anthony]

I need someone to care, listen, almost take care of me

Why?

 

[SeekingAfrica]

Why?

I think I understand that one, may be. When I am at my worst(most triggered) state, I feel constantly tired and overwhelmed. Sometime it's because I have already overfilled schedule and adding this and adding being emotional, is just too much. Sometimes it's just anxiety. In either case when I'm trying to take on all of my usual daily life and dealing with my stuff, however strong I am, there are times when I feel like a house on fire. Like I'm constantly fixing one issue or another and I just wish someone would take care of some of those things for me, so I can breathe for a moment. That someone would tell me I can get through this and things would be okay.

 

[Snowflake]

Why?

I think what it Is could be I feel like a child in a woman's body so my child has needs - like wanting to be heard, believed, liked, loved, cared about, hugged . I don't have skills as an adult to fulfill these needs-I feel more as child than adult . I just crave attention, I want someone to help this child and her needs or teach me to do the same . Honestly my adult me is so alone she wants to die-no support-so I have no strength to help child.

 

[The Albatross]

Snowflake, I think rather than focus on the feelings... you've identified something significant... "I don't have skills an adult to fill these needs". Attention, however is a short term fix for a longer term issue. Have you ever taken a run at self parenting? It helped me loads.

There is benefit in peer support and mentorship... but when the rubber hit the road, I needed to bring myself up to a level of capableness, competency and yeah... maturity. There are ways to do this.

 

[Snowflake]

Snowflake, I think rather than focus on the feelings... you've identified something significant......

Sounds great but my area offers nothing like that

 

[The Albatross]

My area didn't either... but on the net you can let your fingers do the walking. In the meantime, you can reframe the "I can't do it myself" feeling because you are here on the forum getting peer support.

 

[The Albatross]

Link Removed just off the cuff. Can dig around a bit latter if you'd like me to.