How?

[Snowflake]

htt...

Wow thank you-any help is appreciated

 

[SeekingAfrica]

I had no idea there were places you care read about this, self- parenting and all that- sort of thought it's the kind of thing you "figure out" somehow with experience. I have last year identified some of the things I wasn't coping with as an adult and started to work on them, but I do appreciate any extra help in that.
Also, recently I decided to follow a book that linked through the forum here as an ad, and it was on developmental trauma etc. and I am finding it really amazing. It talks about how children develop when certain basic needs aren't fullfilled, what survival mechanisms developed and how to change that as an adult. Really interesting so far.

 

[anthony]

What albatross is leaning towards, is called DBT. You can buy very good self help books and work through the exercise. DBT is aimed at those with complex emotion regulation, where it focused on building stable self skills and regulation methods well and truly prior to anyone going near your trauma, even yourself, if self trauma healing.

There is a lot to learn, but anyone has the capacity to do it nowadays without a therapist if needed. But like she said, it takes hard self work and at some point you have to take responsibility for fixing you, because nobody else can change a damn thing about you. It is all you.

Snowflake, you're here, which says you are prepared at some level to change and work towards that change. Start small... begin educating yourself, slow implementation and changes, and over the next couple of years you will find yourself in a completely different, more positive, place than you are now.