Is There Anyone In This World That Hasn't Been Sexually Abused, Or Is It Just My Luck?

[Deleted member 28403]

Today I've been a bit angry at the world, a teeny tiny bit... Really angry :devilish:

Whats up with this? I've just been going over all the people I know, and uhhh. Like, everyone I meet and get to closer terms with, except like, 2-3 people, has been sexually abused in some way, shape or form. I am now really confused. Is the world really really f*cked up, or am I just really good at seeking out sexually abused people. I mean, over 90% of people I know well enough to know anything about them other than most basic have been sexually abused.

I mean, I know that the stats are much less than that. For girls in EU 13.5% and for boys 5.6%. Though I can assume quite larger numbers in Croatia, especially as it was recently in war, and there is one town so heavily struck by war that it is literarly known as the city where raped people and their rapists walk in the same streets freely. Now thats an anxiety bomb.

So, yep. Whats up with the world? :mad:

Any ideas why this might be happening? Am I simply skipping over all the normal people who haven't went through that bad stuff? Am I simply not getting to know all of those completely normal people because I do not find them terribly interesting? Probably. Actually, for sure. But still. This has been on my mind, and thus I wrote it out.

So, let's share our thoughts and opinions on this :) Learn a new thing every day, even if it's that another person you know went through SA...

 

[Casey_03]

I've actually noticed this before too -- that many many people I know have been abused. I think we just intuitively are drawn to others who have been through something similar. At least, that's been my experience. I'd be friendly with someone, say in school or wherever, and only later learn they were abused. And then I'd realize that is probably why I got along with them - they understood me on some deeper level.

 

[rascal]

I'm a male survivor of childhood sexual trauma and two of my closest friends growing up (who I've lost touch with unfortunately) were also survivors. What are the odds? I think survivors develop similar coping strategies, which in turn affects their personality, which in turn motivates us to seek out others similar to us. So yeah, it's highly likely that though the stats are low overall that we'd be drawn to each other!

 

[Deleted member 28403]

Indeed @Casey_03 , sorta my reason also.

I meet you. You understand me, communication, if it fits I sits, there is a click, there is some level of sharing, and at one point or another it comes out that what happened happened. Standard story

 

[sun seeker]

I would say those stats are very low, unless for some reason I don't understand, the rates are a lot lower in the EU than they are in this part of the world.

But even so... I think those of us who have been victims of sexual abuse tend to attract others who have been similarly victimized. Like we're on the same wavelength or something. I started noticing this long before I had any idea how badly I was abused.

 

[sun seeker]

Oh, and those few people in our lives who haven't been abused? Who is to say they really haven't, unless by their behaviour they make it obvious that they can't understand? Close to 50% of people abused experience some period of amnesia. Could be nothing happened, or it could be it did and they don't remember yet.

 

[ladee]

My best friend of over 35 yrs was also abused. We met when young moms,but as time went and conversations evolved, we found out what all we had in common.. I agree, I think we are drawn to people who have been abused or they are drawn to us.. Every woman I know except for two, were SA victims.. and one of those had physical and emotional abuse as a child... the one remaining woman... she doesn't have a clue what goes on in this world.

 

[Friday]

I would say those stats are very low, unless for some reason I don't understand, the rates are a lot lower in the EU than they are in this part of the world.

The respectable numbers I've read vary quite a bit... From roughly 10% to roughly 25% for straight up abuse of all kinds, 2% to 25% for CSA. I much more strongly like the data collection processes of the higher number organizations, who -for one thing- don't start over each year. Even if a toddler is raped once? They're included in the total overall percentage of "raped kids" until they turn 18. Most sexual abuse stats are limited to that calendar year, although some go by decade. By decade is better, IMO, but still limiting. By longitudinal studies in the US? Even 10 years, much less generational? Pfft. Rare as frog fur.

Conceptually, I like looking at "adults" and realizing its 1:4 were abused & 1:5 were sexually abused as kids at some point during their childhood. That makes sense to me.

How many kids are being abused right now? 1:10 also makes sense. But I think we're fooling ourselves looking at funding and other issues using the lowball numbers. It's not just the kids being abused right now who need help, but all kids who've been abused.

This isn't somewhere I've spent a huge amount of time researching, just had a few years of very focused interest when doing kinship care. So don't take my word as gospel, here. (A chick on the internet's word might not be accurate! Say it ain't so!)

Speaking of numbers needing verifying... I've listened to some serious researchers postulate that boys may actually be sexually abused 5:1 with girls, instead of 1:2/3/4/5/etc. With girls more often abused than boys. Girls always report higher, but... They had some compelling arguments for their numbers.

@Saelben if it helps your world view whatsoever, I wasn't raped until I was an adult. :D

 

[Deleted member 28403]

@Saelben if it helps your world view whatsoever, I wasn't raped until I was an adult. :D

Hahahahahaha :) Am I just laughing at sexual abuse? Wow... Brain...

But yea, I went through sexual abuse, and the numbers thing sorta makes. I hid what happened to me for 7 years, told literarly noone, and even now, mainly this forum :P

 

[Deleted member 29920]

I've known loads of people it's never happened to. But I often end up friends with people who have had other traumas, maybe we have ptsd radar or something :rolleyes:

 

[ladee]

Any time I ever see stats for things like this, I always think of all the ones that are not reported. I was abused as a child, but was also raped and a young teen. The guy died in a car wreck three weeks later... I didn't know the work 'Karma' back then.... but, well, ya'll understand. So no need to report, he got his.

 

[Poofycat]

I was just talking to one of my closest friends about this on Tuesday. I think it's a mix of the two. I know quite a few women who've been sexually assaulted and none of them reported it. I never reported my own. So I would guess the stats are low. And all of my closest friends are survivors of some kind of trauma so I've always assumed that I'm just drawn that type of person.