Preparing For Trauma Therapy, Difficult Circumstances - Tips Or Advice?

[Bragado Jansing]

Hello everyone,

I'm acknowledging now that I have PTSD and seeing a trauma specialist could really help me. I'm worried about it, though, because:

* I currently have no support network. No family, no friends, nada. I'm 100% alone in the world completely isolated from all human contact

* I recently worked in a really screwed up job which was traumatic in and of itself, and also opened up the floodgates of trauma I experienced in the past (being kidnapped and tortured, incest, molestation, enduring a lifetime of physical and complex psychological sadism from my family, being thrown out to survive in the world while crippled with then-unacknowledged PTSD, and so much more, unfortunately)

* My life is a mess because my abusive job totally upended my normal life. So I've got a lot of broken pieces I need to put together, like rebuilding my schedule, health, and whatever else I lost during that experience. I'm also completely socially isolated, so I feel like I'm living in a black hole right now. There's nobody I can reach out to at the moment.

* I'm also unemployed, but on unemployment benefits with savings. I'm a total wreck right now, worse than I've ever been, and I'm not going to find a new job in the current state I'm in; I can barely leave the house right now. I need to recover from this as fast as possible, or I'm going to end up sleeping on the streets. Note: no support network, which precludes getting things like disability (which I seriously do not want, I just want my normal life). Very bad situation.

* Only now becoming aware that I have PTSD, and that it's a treatable condition.

Any tips or advice on how to go about this? I put myself through college, a corporate career, and law school on my own, without support, while being tortured by a psycho family, and suffering from a wicked case of PTSD, so I know I can successfully accomplish difficult things with very few resources while being basically disabled. This just happens to be the most difficult thing I've ever faced, though.

Help, input, advice, tips, would be greatly appreciated. Thanks!

 

[expectingbetter]

Welcome to this supportive group.
You could make your own support network from people you meet here, I have done that since I don't have almost anybody in real life.
There are so many really kind people here.
I understand how you must be feeling.
Start a therapy, take baby steps first. Try to go at your pace. Share here as much as you are comfortable at the moment.
Engage in conversation here when and if you like it and with whom you feel like talking.
This site is my safe place and I hope it will become yours.
Good luck and hope to see you around.

 

[Bragado Jansing]

Welcome to this supportive group.
You could make your own support network from people you meet...

Thanks for the kind words. I'm in an emergency situation right now, so I've got to do some decisive things, and I've got to do them now. My issue is that I've tried to rally myself to kick butt, but these trauma symptoms are knocking me right back down again. So I'm in a seriously dangerous feedback loop right now.

I've read that you shouldn't get trauma treatment unless you have a support network and a stable situation, which I do not. Yet I need to help dealing with these symptoms if I don't want to end up homeless. It's not a great situation right now!

 

[ghotiff]

I've read that you shouldn't get trauma treatment unless you have a support network and a stable situation,

My personal opinion is that trauma work should start with stabilization and learning how to manage any spikes in symptoms while doing the trauma work. My first T didn't do this and I left her in a mess. It was the support here that helped me a lot and helped me find a new T who is great.

My point is, there is a lot to be gained in managing symptoms without delving into the trauma, and my personal opinion is to start there first.

 

[expectingbetter]

At least you should start having therapy, right therapist is going to be some support for you.
You have to start from somewhere, so start from getting a proper professional help.

 

[Bragado Jansing]

My personal opinion is that trauma work should start with stabilization and learning how to manage any spikes in symptoms while doing the trauma work. My first T didn't do this and I left her in a mess. It was the support here that helped me a lot and helped me find a new T who is great.

I could try and look for that, I'm not sure what type of therapist offers these services, though. I'm also worried because there are so many crappy therapists out there and I've got to find something that works, fast. It'd be nice if there were higher standards for this profession. I still have a weirdo therapist I interviewed for services who won't stop calling, texting, and emailing me. Like dude, there was clearly a reason I didn't hire you. Plus there are tons of therapists offering "trauma" services yet have no idea whatsoever about the condition.

The trauma right now is staring me in the face. All the memories, experiences, feelings, it's all back and it's like I can't ignore them, I can't close the door again. At least it's forcing me to face something I needed to take care of a long time ago, I just wish it came at a better moment in my life. Cuz I really don't want to die right now or end up homeless. That would not be a good time.

 

[expectingbetter]

I am glad you are determinant to heal-that's such a good sign.
I know it is hard to find the right therapist. They are very rare not only where you live. But you need to give it a try with somebody. Trust your guts.

 

[ghotiff]

Finding a good therapist is definitely difficult. I got really lucky with my third T. Unfortunately I think it's s bit trial and error which is painful, time consuming and expensive. Good luck, we are here for you.

 

[expectingbetter]

I have found a therapist who is a proper match from second try.
I agree with @ghotiff, we are here for you.

 

[StellaBlue]

This bears repeating:

My personal opinion is that trauma work should start with stabilization and learning how to manage any spikes in symptoms while doing the trauma work.

Like @ghotiff, I started trauma work when I was definitely not stable and it almost killed me. You did say that your "trauma symptoms" are causing you the most pain right now. Stabilization - learning mindfulness, emotional regulation, distress tolerance skills - can help alleviate your symptoms. I would strongly caution against diving into trauma work before you have these skills onboard and are stable. A skilled therapist can help with these - even if they aren't specifically trained in trauma therapy.

I've got to find something that works, fast.

I wish I could find something that works fast too.