Adoption

[mary1979]

Start a go fund me @Casey_03.

Tell your story straight.
When the time comes, you can use the cash to either take baby back to the US where adoption will be safe, ethical and provide your child with the best start in life, or, change your mind about adoption and use it to set you both up for a little while and take some maternity leave.

Share it here, we can post links to all our social media accounts, a lot of these fundraising things go viral and make some decent cash.
I was following an American couple (who's 4 yr old was diagnosed with schizophrenia) fb who paid their rent and living expenses for several years with this method.

Worth a shot since its free to set up

 

[Casey_03]

Thanks everyone for your support. @joeylittle is right that the uniqueness of the situation is making things unnecessarily difficult. I have called numerous american agencies and they all say they can't help me unless I am on American soil -- no airfare or financial support to come back. They do that only for people living in the U.S. but a different state. Plus, in my case, before they can do anything they would have to see the birth certificate and proof that the baby is an American citizen. International agencies seem equally perplexed by my situation. But @joeylittle I will try the agencies you posted, I hadn't contacted them yet. The worst-case scenario would be leaving him in a Ukrainian orphanage; I'm not sure I'd ever forgive myself for that.

 

[Casey_03]

I'm in early labor now. I couldn't hold back and I messaged the father of the baby's family members. I let the cat out of the bag. I know there will be backlash but I don't care. I feel a lot better knowing that now at least these people know there is a baby on the way and he is their blood and they should be rooting for him.

 

[Casey_03]

Even if he makes up lies or they don't believe me, they will know on some level that it is true, or at the very least that there is a baby out there who is their blood. That means he exists in many people's hearts now and not just mine.

 

[Changing4Best]

I pray all goes well with the delivery and he is a healthy happy baby! All health and wellbeing to you both.

 

[Stickler]

I'm in early labor now.

O.O EEEEEP! Oh wow!

*Crosses fingers and toes*

 

[joeylittle]

Thinking about you @Casey_03 - wishing you much strength.

 

[Mafia_Science]

Are you sure the baby can't be sent to America? In North America, there are almost zero orphanages, and the ones that are here are small and not even legally orphanages.

Your baby will likely be adopted out very quickly or placed in a foster home.

I hope all goes with you and the baby. Good luck!

 

[joeylittle]

Are you sure the baby can't be sent to America?

The child would not be able to travel unaccompanied, and it would be very risky for her to go without having a placement agency already engaged.

there are almost zero orphanages, and the ones that are here are small and not even legally orphanages.

I don't think that's completely true; I do think a few are left that are legal. But it's not because there are no more orphaned babies. The orphanage has been replaced by the foster care system, and it's often overloaded, depending on what state one is dealing with. OP would need to return to her home state and file for foster placement if she did not have a plan in place with an adoption agency. She'd likely have to go through counseling about how she didn't need to give up her child (with the foster system).

 

[Casey_03]

Apparently I was only experiencing pre-labor pains yesterday. Which is terrifying. Because if that had me on the floor in agony, I can't imagine how much it's going to hurt when I go into active labor. They had to give me shots to keep me from violently throwing up (which I had been doing all night from the pain). But apparently I still have a few days to wait ... or hours ... it's really unclear how long pre-labor pains last before labor actually starts. Anyway, I am just updating this because when I thought I was about to give birth the emotional numbness went away .... and I wanted to see my baby. So hopefully it will stay that way and this weird cold, emotional detachment was just temporary.

 

[Stickler]

Emotional shutoff happens to me...I find my feelings for people will evaporate sometimes, then return.
I think it's fear that is so overwhelming I shut down.

 

[Casey_03]

Thanks @Stickler I guess I am the same way. I think the whole situation felt unreal to me because I am so isolated and there is no one else worrying about the baby. It started to feel like it was all a dream and it was all depersonalized somehow. Telling the father of the baby's family yesterday seemed to help break the numbness, though I know there will still be backlash from it. But just knowing that they know he is here made me feel a little stronger.