About To Get FIRED.

[Kunoichi]

A-Ron,

While I'm weary to enter into a "religious" debate, I am going to say something on this. I am a follower of God and Jesus. And you are referring that you maybe should live in the wildnerness as a means of preparing yourself for some type of ministry, however, two things with that. One, you already see living in the wilderness as a "last resort" and while the temptation was done both to prepare Jesus for ministry AND to fulfill prophecy. He didn't do it as a means to know he could survive, but to fulfill scripture.

So that being touched on, you are having trouble working but then thinking living out in the wilderness will be easier. While it will be less responsibility..you will also do without alot of things. Without contact, support and many things that you will need.

What you do is your right as it is your life, however, while this may put you back on track with life, as you say, it could also hurtle you in the other direction.

Best of luck

Kunoichi

 

[A-RON]

Thanks Kunoichi,

Yeah, I realize that. More than anything, I'm just expressing how I feel. Yeah, I don't want to get into any religious debates, and I'm sure my argument has a lot of holes. Not that I'm going to do it or anything, but I just FEEL like going out into the wilderness and escaping.

 

[fin]

The thing is A-RON ....its not an escape

I dont know what to suggest... I can understand that if you leave your job you wont get the health insurance (have I got that right?). So leaving might be a step backwards. So do you really want to loose the health insurance?

And I really dont want to urge you to stay in a job that you might have been abused at...

A-RON....were you abused at the job you have now?




ideas if not....
The forms thing that you worry about- that end up making you 4 hours late;
try to practise distraction...I have read here oils-smell, that makes you feel better while you are signing them perhaps...

think practically.... you can do this think what would be an alternative to freezing your ass off after quitting your job

Any buddies at work?
contact HMO?

I have to say I used to think outside the box all the time and I dont think that you are really doing that...this is said worriedly as I dont want to upset you further...

 

[patrick]

A-Ron,

Some of what you've said here reminds me quite a bit of me. Don't know for sure how many jobs I've had over the last 40 years, but I did spend a while living in a bread truck I had made into an RV of sorts, traveling around taking pick up construction jobs when I needed gas and food money.

Many times I've thought of going into the hills alone. Even planned to hike the Pacific Crest Trail once. Still think about sailing around Cape Horn alone. Just had a general feeling that I didn't fit in and nobody could or would understand. Almost every time I ran (I do think of these times as running now) I f*cked it up one way or another. Last time, I took off in my sailboat and ended up relapsing on alcohol after having been sober for over a year.

I wish I knew what point I want to make here. I think it's that I'm trying to fight that urge to run now, to get serious about getting to the bottom of this shit. What all of my running has resulted in is getting older alone. That was fine for a long time, but now I'm seeing other people enjoying life in the company of spouses, friends, family and wishing I had that. Hoping it's not too late. I wish you the best and hope you can find the answers that make life a little sweeter.

Pat

 

[fin]

A-Ron,
I think it's that I'm trying to fight that urge to run now, to get serious about getting to the bottom of this shit. What all of my running has resulted in is getting older alone.

Im with Patrick on this....getting serious

I get the idea you want to get serious with this A-RON ...please dont sabotage yourself now...for your sake just dont do it

fin

 

[A-RON]

That's EXACTLY what I feel like I'm doing. I don't know HOW to NOT sabotage myself. I've just been letting go. I'm completely exhausted. It's like I've been running a marathon, and I keep running the last mile over and over and over. I just want it to stop.

With that said, I don't think there's any reason to continue on with this thread. I'm thankful for the feedback I have received, but I shouldn't be getting all this attention. So, moving on...

 

[twodogen]

Contact your HR and see if you have short term disability or if you live in the US you could take FMLA for 12 weeks and not lose your job and possibly get with a therapist (contact your health provider). I went through your struggle and then when I broke my leg (my right one so I couldn't drive) it was like aahh then I was hospitalized and went on FMLA after that. Now I have the time to work on my issues for a while and then hopefully get another job. I'd never worked at a job big enough to have an HR dept before and should have accessed it earlier.

Best of luck.

 

[Kunoichi]

A-Ron,

Oh hun its ok to keep going on this! I know you may not want to, but its not really about attention. We are always here to help you or be tough with you sometimes too. (Hope i didn't hurt or offend you hun with my post) I know what it is like to want to run, man have I thought about going into the wilderness myself! Sometimes though, its just cuz of fear, more than anything else. That and being tired. Maybe you can do some things to give you a break for a while?

Kunoichi

 

[fin]

A-RON hi...

I was wondering how your day had gone today...
I tried to accept your friend request...still not that good at remembering how to do this stuff. Anyway
I really hope it wasn't as bleak as you were thinking it might have been

~fin

 

[A-RON]

Well, I got fired today. Weird thing is, the HR Director for the company traveled 5 hours to hand me my final paycheck, and she said that this is very unfortunate because I've helped change the way they think as a company despite being the lowest man on the totem pole. She said that even the CEO has thought about taking greater risks and approaching business from a more creative perspective because of his interactions with me. She said that if I get things turned around, maybe there would be something available in the future, but she can't make any promises. And despite having been fired, they're not going to challenge me if I apply for unemployment. And they're even going to give me a good reference. Wow, I can't believe she actually said those things.

 

[Kunoichi]

A-ron,

I'm sorry you got fired :( But i am happy they will let your apply for unemployment as well as giving you a good reference! That is great! :)

*hugs

Kunoichi

 

[fin]

I am soo sorry to read about you getting fired A-RON

and as pitiful as this is going to sound I dont know what to say...
Im just so sorry to hear that.
It is good about the reference...can you still get your ptsd treatment on un-employment?

hugs from here also
~fin