So I read Nicolette's title, and it sparked my interest. So even though I don't really have enough time to continue now reading anything yet beyond She-Cat's post, at this point in time, without becoming overwhelmed and not being able to ever post, I'm pushing myself to respond now, before I cannot.
So Wendy, I reach your post and I stop, Yikes was my initial feeling to this:
Because this is not real.....You really aren't interacting with others here. It's just words, typed on a screen.
People perceive and respond to things differently.
If this is not real and honest, interactive, communication here, for others and me, any of whom I may or may not ever get to know beyond these technoloical communications, then I have no business being here.
Quite frankly, this makes me feel sad too, bc I wish from all my heart; I wish us all well. And, I'd approach almost anyone of you, unless my guts repeatedly shouted at me differently, and I'd be myself.
Alot of times, I don't even get to entirely be and express myself here, bc I've responded to numbers of others threads from the heart and cannot figure out how to then post such in proper time, bc life back here demands an instant response to one need or another; might add that this has been quite frustrating to me.
Anyhow, it's been through interactions here that I've exchanged phone numbers and have spoken more than once with 5 different people over time. Two of those conversations have since left the door open for either one, to call me at ANYTIME, if they so desire. And, I too call these ladies, and am now reminded that it would be awesome to do so more often. I do call, it's just that I just don't want to call, perhaps bother people, unless they want to be bothered. Also, true is time-management problems on my end, and real ones. However, both women are truly beautiful people.
Also there is, another forum member, whom she and I talked, unfortuantely only once, but it was for hrs. and if it was not for sheer exhaustion on the part of both of us, we likely would've continued. I feel fortunate to have spoken with her via phone, bc she's a great woman. Honest, frank and f....u...n.....n.....y. And, what I do is I trust, when my guts say trust; I trust that she's doing well.
Lately, I've again been writing about past trauma, but hell that's all past, but when I get to writing about it, I do get temporarily confused as to whether it's past or not, when I am re-living the depths of that once suppressed emotional pain and the present symptoms that it invites; such symptoms though are all temporary for me, it's just that I keep writing and writing and writing about more and more and more. (laughs)
But, ask the people here to meet in a public place to *get to know* each other....I would bet that VERY few would show up!!!!!!
Wendy, You and I could meet, perhaps nic and beatle as well. Perhaps we could all measure an equal distance from our homes to a public point at which we could go out for lunch or supper and all go to a movie or something. You name it, I'm up for it.
The only issue I forsee arising for me, is if it got dark out, as I've little nighttime vision, and I certainly do not trust my friend beatle's vision more than I do my own. My problem is I get on the highway, and I cannot see the exits to ever get off the highway, but seeing the lines on either side at night, I can do well. (smiles) No offense beatle, but you know, how I feel about your driving and peripheral vision. And, if beatle being a male is a concern, well then beatle has enough friends and acquaintances back home.
Beatle, if you're reading this, is this so, or no. It use to be so, as you've made more friends then I now have. ......It's a family, children / school and extended family thing, for the most part that makes maintaining friendships sometimes most challenging.
Though having said this, I don't disagree with you Wendy in that likely very few people would show up, but I believe some would.
I even know members that have added the word "hugs" to the end of their post, but meant it in a very sarcastic way, so not everything is as it seems.....
If that's an intrepation with no certainty, communication, guts or certainty to it then well, maybe it's nothing more than a misunderstanding. However, anything's possible and if so, well then........IMO, I think that's a very sh'tty thing to do.
I must say I do agree that not everthing is as it seems. To keep this simple now, an example: I wanted in on that thread, ....which went something like: Does It Sometimes Seem that Ptsd Makes Things Appear that the Sufferer Don't Care? ....Something like that, I don't know,
but the thread was closed before I could find time to participate. So, as for things not appearing as they're. Yes! I identify. For example, it might appear that I could careless or very little about many here upon the forum, some in which I'm yet to ever respond to in their great threads or questions which they've asked or created, but this is not as it appears. In fact, this couldn't be any further from the truth on this end.
Rather I care very much, but one person is one person and Life is happening through me, around me, involving me and affecting me all the live long time, and my my only recent complaints, but a consistent struggle, is that there is not enough time in a day, plus a few people and 'institutions'-one such being school, back home here requesting, demanding and asking for more and more from me; None of which is my immediate family either.
I keep my home clean so that I can enjoy it, ....working my arse off in doing so, and the doorbell rings sometimes daily, seldom if ever a day or two in between and in walks people with expectations. Ouch, I say. Lately, I feel like a maid, servant, childcare provider, teacher and therapist, (none of which is me) and that my home is thought of as a guest home for others to enjoy, (rather than for my family and I as well) Regardless just some of more, which I regularly do and accomplish.
It's nice being me here on the forum when I'm here, but this too is too often hindered by me owning, re-evaluating and exposing my traumas.
Anyhow, Yes, Yes and another yes as to being long-winded here, but I am speaking from the heart, so long-winded or not, oh well.
Wendy, I'll be in touch via PM.
...........I'm yet to have read beyond your post Wendy.
So I'm going to want to get back to reading this thread, but must discipline myself into action back home now.
Take Care.
Sincerely,
goingonhope
