Frustrating Posts

[Wice]

If you give advice and it is ignored you have to consider also that the other person may have you on ignore. They may never see your posts and the advice you give out.

Give advice until you are blue in the face. They can't see you.

 

[Ovese]

I'm amazed at how involved people are with each other here! I don't mean that in a bad way - it actually makes me wonder if something is wrong with me.
These things all do annoy me in real life with people that ring and dump on me continuously etc but here on a website it doesn't bother me at all.
I don't feel compelled to give input or advice if I don't feel moved to and I don't feel invested in the advice being taken or not.
I come here mainly to read how others feel and how they cope and it makes me feel less alone.
I'm probably not as involved as many here, but still - I mean, in real life you can't ignore the problems of others in your life even if they drive you bonkers. But here you don't have to get involved, surely?

 

[Wajased]

HA! Yes. I got into trouble for saying something like "you ask but won't do anything, so why bother other than to get attention?" It was a HUGE thread.

I also see it all the time here and had to stop for a while be used people were annoying me.

 

[Jofoz]

Well as with any site under the sun, there will always be people who want attention. Fortunately the attention seekers can be easy to spot! But there are also people who genuinely try but never get anywhere. It's hard to try and help them, too.

 

[Gavuda]

"you ask but won't do anything, so why bother other than to get attention?" It was a HUGE thread.

It is not always possible to apply all advise so why assume its for attention?

 

[Ihezu]

Maybe they are lonely and it is an excuse to just connect with others, and your kind response might keep them alive another day!
Maybe their mind is so boggled and they fear to make any change, they will never remember your words, but will remember the compassion felt if it is genuine.

I think that it's easier to put people on ignore if they don't make strides toward healing and you rather not waste time reading their posts.

If that is what is healthy for you, then that is what you should do. Many of us have issues with controlling situations or we feel frustration, that is about us, not the poster.

I know a poor man that works at a shelter and feeds homeless several times per week after working at his job with small pay. He confronted a couple who he knew for a fact stole his paycheck and cell phone, and most unable to afford to be robbed. Someone suggested banning the couple from services for a month, but he declined and continued to welcome them and feed them weekly. I was puzzled, he was much kinder that I could have been. 2 wks later, the phone and check were left exactly where they were taken from. He could have punished them and did not. The couple are in active addiction too. I pondered this in awe of his kindness in spite of being stolen from. I aspire to be like him, not even angry. Then it hit me. It is the true answer to "WHAT WOULD JESUS DO". Which of our sins is it that Jesus is unwilling to forgive.

When I feel I am being played, used , strung along, victim of attentions seeking , stole from,etc. I tend to become self protective and not want to be the chump here. I might become angry and frustrated.
Its really all about ego.

Depression can be paralyzing and debilitation. I cant compare my back pain with yours, my surgery was more extensive so why cant you get on with it. Maybe you have a lower threshold. We never really know what is in someone else. Some days, I cant respond. others I can. I try to only when it is genuine.

There is nothing so painful as to feel all alone in this world, with not one person to connect with. Feeling unconnected with life in any way. If someone needs a superficial topic to get some connection, I will try to help when I can. When my cup is not running over. Best I have is acceptance of myself and sorrow for other.

 

[Etum]

There is nothing so painful as to feel all alone in this world, with not one person to connect with. Feeling unconnected with life in any way. If someone needs a superficial topic to get some connection, I will try to help when I can.

Amen! Many of us arent even looking for attention but change isnt over night and even if change doesnt occur, you do not know the person's situation and set of circumstances. There is a change right now down the abusive line that could very well being referred to and though I know change should occur, situation and circumstances make that literally a very dumb move to make.

I also went head on with this forum, most telling me I must do this, today, it cant change if I dont, I am not listening etc. Come to find out, it was changed in an exact opposite way and ONE advise out of likely hundreds led to that change. And Id be so miserable now if I did it like the majority wanted me to. So it pays sometimes to not take advise of the majority.

Maybe they are lonely and it is an excuse to just connect with others, and your kind response might keep them alive another day!

AMEN AMEN AMEN! Kindness of one can save a life and has quite a few times on here.

Give kindness because you want to make someone smile, not to gain change out of them or call them out of being an "attention whore" as for those of us that has had so much taken from us, when we can reach out, we should not be met with "you're looking for attention". Why yes I am, thank you very much. Asking for someone to care. If that's seeking attention then so be it; I'm an attention whore.

 

[Rosoju]

"Advice"......its "advice" not "advise"

"Advice" has "vice" as in Miami Vice (the tv show & movie)

"Advise" is pronounced with a hard "z" like ad-vize

 

[Inop]

What are you now? The grammar/spelling notzi? You read it, correct? Thank you!

 

[Ise]

I've noticed the popular people and the whiners get help while people that ask for legit advice get maybe one or two comments and that's it. I've had that before and I see others that just whine on and on get 20+ posts of help and then the OP states they don't deek like any of it would help and that's another 10 posts or whatever. Such crap.

 

[Oze]

whine on and on get 20+ posts of help and then the OP states they don't deek like any of it would help and that's another 10 posts or whatever. Such crap.

Good lord! Is this the "judgemental thread"? I have never seen such judgements in my life! People need to vent! If they dont vent their anger and upset here then they may do so by cutting and other ways.

I dont see a rule anywhere that says "only post legit questions" and "one can't vent up to 20+", do you?

Sometimes caring posts, loving posts can take me off that suicidal ledge. To know people are this judgemental here changes that.

 

[Saki]

Oh and to add to my above post that people need to vent; (and all you have to do is ask "are you just venting or are you seeking advice?" Its that simple) but to add to that; I, most times, must bounce things off people to navigate a very hard place and end up gaining the answer by doing that. That can take pages and pages of me "venting" and people answering with some advice, venting more, more advice etc and 8 pages later I have now navigated myself through that hard place. Without it I would have been stuck there.

Some of us have zero support in real life and this site is it. Do you tell your friends and family "oh hell no, you can't talk to me about this because you are venting and aren't looking for my advice"? Didn't think so.