At A What Point Are You Too Broken For Therapy?

[theshadowoftheliving]

Thank you, @Ragdoll Circus. I'm trying to get back up again. It's just so hard sometimes.

Question: Do you have anyone who can recommend anyone in your area? A reference or a good experience with a Therapist? If you feel subjective right now, is there someone who might accompany you on an assessment? Someone with a more objective point of view?

I don't. Some of my friends know that I'm in therapy, but they don't know, really. I need a therapist that can handle my level of dissociation, which is hard to find. I'm on my own, here.

And @anthony ... I do read. A lot. But I want the chance to work on this with a human. The relationship is important to me.

Dead is just one option of many... but dead comes with the consequence of affecting those around you and possibly giving them PTSD by killing yourself. Guilt trip, ha? But its true. Then you have the person who finds you... a chance of PTSD or minimally adding to that persons traumatic lifetime baggage.

And dead is a terrible option. But sometimes life feels worse.

 

[Deleted member 34328]

@theshadowoftheliving you're "voice" is dripping with pain. It is awful and lonely isn't it! I understand the need for a physical person to work with. Getting info online or books is definitely a good suggestion, but the human component is the missing element. I think everyone here hears your heart.

 

[anthony]

It is awful and lonely isn't it!

That is why its often so important for people to find the right therapist. When you have the right one, you have a human feedback loop. Always my first recommendation. My second is self-help.

 

[Lotis]

@theshadowoftheliving I truly understand and know how you feel and what you are going through. I am not sure if you saw any of my threads regarding therapy. I am kind of in the same boat as you in regards to not being able to find a therapist who will work with me. I have just had a string of bad luck when it comes to therapists. I too feel like giving up and as if I am too broken or unfixable. It is hard to not feel that way when you cannot find adequate help. Sometimes I wonder if I have exhausted all possibilities and whether I am better off dead. I have been in a really dark place since my last therapist told me she could not longer work with me but I realize now that it was probably for the best. I know that I am not better off dead but it sure does feel that way when I am hurting so badly and unable to manage my pain.
I wish I had the answers for you because that would mean I also have the answers to my own dilemma! :tdown: Perhaps it helps just a little to know you are not alone and to know that I do not believe you are better off dead. I believe that you deserve a good therapist and deserve to feel whole and not broken. I know that it is so difficult to find a good person willing to invest the time to help you. I know that it is scary to trust and to keep going. I believe and try to remind myself and try not to listen to that negative voice in my head, that everything in life happens for a reason even the bad things.....it may not be known "why" for a long time but it eventually all comes out. Maybe I lost this past therapist because there is someone out there better and who can truly help me....it is this thinking that keeps me going even when I really do not feel like sticking around.
I am at this point where I don't know what to do or where to turn to for help. I do not know how to find a good therapist. I have done the research and the searching and the "interviewing" of therapists. I don't want to keep doing it. I don't know how many bad therapists I have to go to before I find a good one. I wonder if I ever will. Right now I do feel hopeless and as if there may not be help for me right now. Maybe I am not looking in the right areas? I don't know. Maybe we could encourage each other to keep searching. If I encourage you then perhaps that will push me to keep looking. :shy:

L