Vulnerable To Criticism

[Riot]

It seems to me like the question is this, and Ragdoll asking what she can do to help solve the situation, not, 'would someone mind telling me if I sound in my postings like a BPD'.
It seems to me like the BPD term is thrown around here at some with a touch of repulsiveness mixed in. I don't get it.

I agree. I also think that there is a diplomatic way to present information and an arrogant way of presenting information that really turns people off. I'm a moderator on a very large community site, and it thrives because the administrators (owners) know how to talk to their audience. I get turned off every time I see such rude posts here, especially without provocation.

In any case, @Ragdoll Circus, regarding your more fleshed out response, it does sound like miscommunication is going around. I don't know if it's the nature of email and text in general, but there seems to be a lot of confusion and hardship when patients communicate that way with their doctors and therapists. I personally don't email my therapist, but I can understand why it has its appeal. Have you decided what you're going to do yet?

 

[Riot]

@Ragdoll Circus, damn, I posted right as you did. I'm really sorry to hear that happened.

 

[anthony]

I am not certain that this is appropriate at all.

I don't need to be a therapist to use what a member has posted publicly already. Rag doll has already stated BPD traits. One of the classic BPD traits, direct from a friend of mine who is a psychiatrist, is "help me, but I won't let you." So please explain how it is inappropriate based on these factors? There are also other self admissions in postings, about being treatment resistant, has a long history of therapists dumping them, so forth. At no stage I have self labelled, as you have claimed. So please kindly ask versus make accusations in the future.

Each time she saw me, she seemed fine, but would then go and call my T and have a complete meltdown (she has since conceded that my case is too complex and out of her area and we don't talk about my trauma on that basis).

I find this a little difficult to swallow. A psychiatrist ringing a therapist, having a meltdown (your words) about discussing your trauma history. Is this what your psychiatrist said, or therapist? And why would either say that to you directly, as the patient?

I understand your psychiatrist no longer talking about your trauma with you, but based on other discussions to date, is that based on you falling apart from even minor work, let alone digging deep into your trauma, and not that your trauma is too much for your psychiatrist?

You have admitted to being hospitalised numerous times... which to me, says the psychiatrist is doing their job accordingly, which would be to avoid touching on anything tough that may put your life at risk further.

 

[scout86]

Wow! I didn't see that coming. I'm still going to suggest, maybe, consider using this as a chance to work on your relationship/people/problem solving skills.
Like I said, my T does the same thing with emails. Sometimes he answers, sometimes he doesn't. He has, though, gone out of his way to let me know he's read them and heard what I said. Sometimes, he answers unimportant stuff right away. Maybe because it's interesting and he's bored and happens to be online. Sometimes, when he's slow to answer, it's because he's thinking. Sometimes he'd rather wait till the next session. Sometimes, maybe he doesn't think it really needs a reply.
I don't know what's going on here or where this is going to end up. I do know how hard it is to trust someone and how scary the prospect of giving in to the idea of "help" is. Sometimes the smart thing to do is suck it up and take a chance. Maybe you should meet with him at least once more to make sure you both understand what's going on. If he's willing.

 

[anthony]

I also think that there is a diplomatic way to present information and an arrogant way of presenting information that really turns people off.

First and last warning, I would stop following me around posting against me with your snide remarks. Your future here will be quite limited if you continue.

 

[anthony]

I just got a call from T's boss. T doesn't want to see me again. He thinks I should work with this new therapist instead.

Same place, different therapist?

 

[shimmerz]

You know, I sat in my T's office years ago and said that I was seeing a Shaman. He told me he was 'insulted'. He was a great guy. He helped me understand what was happening to me (PTSD) and the roots it most likely had. And I respected his being insulted, but also realized that it was ME shaking in beds, on couches, dropping on the ground, losing my job, house, everything.

You may just find, if you don't let yourself fall into the drainhole of 'everything is my fault', that this may be a very good move for you, regardless of his (what I consider to be) immaturity in dealing with the situation.

A Trauma T is most likely what you need. You provided yourself with self care and I see that as a really big step. It is okay if he is hurt. You never know, you may have been the catalyst for him moving forward in his career somewhere along the line and realizing he could have handled that situation better than he did. Sorry, I keep saying he. I can't recall if they were a he or a she.

I think you did well Ragdoll.

 

[shimmerz]

she has since conceded that my case is too complex and out of her area and we don't talk about my trauma on that basis

I feel like this is a really big issue with therapists. Some are absolutely NOT qualified to take on clients with complex trauma issues. It is too much for them.

ETA: That doesn't mean that you are flawed.

 

[anthony]

I feel like this is a really big issue with therapists.

I think the problem is that a therapist won't really know the complexities until they start getting into sessions. Therapists, ethically, are meant to do exactly this with clients out of their realm for treatment, to move them onto someone else who may be able to help them, or remove themselves if they don't know someone.

It feels like shit to the client, but ethically, it is really a tick for the therapist.

 

[shimmerz]

It feels like shit to the client,

Yes, and that is where I think it is so important for the client to know that some therapists just are not qualified for some of the heinous trauma stuff. A client internalizing that stuff - well it is like shooting themselves in the foot because they are afraid they are a failure. And they simply aren't.

 

[Sideways]

Same place, different therapist?

That's the rub. The new T is affiliated with a trauma unit at a different hospital (only dedicated trauma unit in Brisbane), where they have a "reputation" for recognising DID. Old T was affiliated with a different hospital, where they don't tend to speak about DID.

I think there's potentially a little bit of politics at play.

As for my doc not coping, I did get all that info from my T. The communication about the issue all went via him. Although, I didn't (and don't I think?) think he'd have any reason to be giving me a warped version of things.

 

[anthony]

I think there's potentially a little bit of politics at play.

PTSD + DID = Absolutely. They are the two most highly contentious diagnoses available today. None other comes close to these two, especially when combined. Hopefully this new one is better again, and can meet your needs. Time will tell.

Personally, I don't think email between therapist client is effective, as there is just way too much time needed in reading and responding, and then interpretation. Its like adding an additional layer of unknown and miscommunication, which takes focus from face to face work.