What Can I Do?

[Bloomy]

Ive found out abuser lives nearby job. Two encounters until now. I cant take this.
Then today I sat in cafe in neighbourhood and it comes along. Even looking at me. I cant stand it. Burns hole in my soul. I want to die. I want to disapear. I want to puke. I want to vomit. Scream. But mostly die.

Had severe panick attack at job. Know the thing would talk to me if possible. Cant name it other then it or thing other then the first line. Hope its understandable to protect my self.

I dont know how to live with this. I think on a long term I must move away from my country. If it doesnt die and go to hell that is.

I must learn to be prepared and look away. I cant see this. I cant. Cant cant cant. And neither can I see if it see me. Its having it all over again if so.

Nothing I can do? Just survive everytime this happens?

 

[hodge]

I'm so sorry, Bloomy. That must be horrible. I get triggered even by guys who just resemble my abusers.

Are you in therapy? If so, maybe your therapist can help you come up with strategies to deal with this?

 

[Bloomy]

Ive written post about the therapy Im in which is a joke. I even saw it once I were out with the therapist. I got full blown fear and anciety attack total panick and I run to hid my self.
Therapist didnt really say much about it. Just sorry or something.

I swear by God I cant see it looking at me. I managed to avoid that in encounters at work, but today. No. Have such a nausea right now.

 

[kona355]

@Bloomy

Can you move to another part of the city?

 

[Bloomy]

@kona355 its everywhere:banghead::banghead::banghead::banghead::bawling::bawling::bawling::bawling:

There are certain parts of city I allready avoid. Other parts I know I must be careful. I thought in my part of town I would be safer. Cause it didnt use to come aroud her. But now yes. And workplace is a bit from my home diferent part of the city.
So whywhywhywhywhywhy do I have to see this here there and every where :banghead::banghead::banghead::banghead::bawling::bawling::bawling::bawling:

 

[LilSam]

I'm so sorry, Bloomy. That must be horrible. I get triggered even by guys who just resemble my abusers....

I get triggered by any girl wearing similar glasses to my abusive ex, it's not fun

 

[Bloomy]

This is not some one similar nor is it glasses its it self :bawling::bawling::bawling::banghead::banghead::banghead:

 

[LilSam]

Ive found out abuser lives nearby job. Two encounters until now. I cant take this.
Then today I sat in c...

I'd get away as far as possible I guess. My abusive exes are currently in another country and I'm doing my best to enjoy holiday without too many triggers. I know what it's like though, being unable to move every time you see them. I had to get on the same bus as my abusive ex for 2 months before I moved schools and every day I was either in a state of shock or self harming (which I really don't recommend, it didn't help at all mentally, emotionally or physically). Try to avoid eye contact and hold your breath I guess, my PTSD was still developing when she was there and I barely remember any of what happened in my last 10 months at my first secondary school. Just do your best to keep your mind on other things and maybe get others that you trust to keep you safe

 

[LilSam]

This is not some one similar nor is it glasses its it self :bawling::bawling::bawling::banghead::banghea...

I know, sorry

 

[Bloomy]

Im sorry @LilSam
This ordeal just makes me wacko jacko :bawling::bawling::bawling:

 

[kona355]

I'm sorry this is happening to you. It's not fair, but it will take effort on your part to find a way to avoid it.
You said

I think on a long term I must move away from my country

Can you move to another country? If not, does your country have laws to protect you?

Forgive me for going logical (my anger is pretty high right now because of what you're having to suffer because of it being around), but is there a law in your country against stalking?

Here, in the USA, in my state we have a Protective Order that restricts abusers from coming near us. If they do, they are subject to arrest. Is it a perfect solution? No. But it is an option.

Otherwise nothing ever happens to the abuser. I understand the desire to move, even to another country, to avoid it.
.

 

[Bloomy]

@kona355 thanks more then my words can say for saying that you are so angry on my behalf. Actually helps that some one else becomes angry. And also you understand and use the right words on it.

No...This shit country. It was recently (1 week ago) another case about a gang rape here and it led to a mass demonstration. Which is rare in Noway Cause the offenders was set free despite the clear evidence that this was an actual rape.

Sp that there is no justice is a bitter pill Im learning how to swallow in addition to that these things happen.