When Does It Stop????

[lostforgottensoul]

I'll try to answer a bit better now that ive got a taxi line up to take me to work tomorrow, canceled my medical procedure today, canceled my therapist Fri. My dad wont be home until Sat.

Im a complete basket case, and one wouldnt think so (and feel guilty i do) for someone with 2 grand in the bank and yes i can fix my car or buy a new one but with my job loss coming, that and the 2 grand in my 401K, that was going to be my live on money until i found a new job. Now the first 2 grand will be gone.

The only way my step mom was able to calm me down was to remind me that a company bought this 7 story building I live behind. The company i work for now owned it and its where i worked for a long time (and is the only reason i live where i do) but they moved us all to one of the executive buildings and sold it to another call center whom is hiring, i think. They cant pay much as the building is super old (80's) and run down with a leaking roof but its a job.

My step mom also said my dad wont move until im a bit more stable finciancally. All i could think about is my dad is leaving, im loosing my job, my car dies...im going to be homeless without a car to sleep in.

My mom dies, my world crashes in, my dad announces he's moving 3 hrs away, my world crashes in more, my job is laying off 8% of their entire work force, my world crashes in a lot, my car dies and may take me with it. I honestly dont know how much i can take. Im not able to talk with out breaking down into hysterics. I cant see an inch in front of me. Im a good problem solver but my mind is mush.

hugs if you accept them. I know its tough, but if we give up completely, things can never get better. Hold onto that slim chance of good, even when it looks like Karma is just kicking your ass for fun. I'm still riding that train...

I do and thank you. Oh god to just lay my head on someone's shoulder would mean everything right now.

Im sorry you're in a bad situation too!

Would you qualify for unemployment?

Yes but unemployment is 60% of your wage and I cant get my job back at Sprint because i took unemployment from them. Obviously if i had known i wouldnt of done it but if unemployment is all i can get until i get another job then thats what it will be.

and I am self employed.

How are you getting by?

Dont mean to sound nosey. Just wondering if its an avenue i could take?

Im an artist thats not good enough to be in demand. I know IT but dont have a degree and am not certified and don't know anyone to start making money fixing computers. I have nothing to fall back on. Thow in complete physical inabilty to do anything but sit. And anxiety so bad that i was almost fired for conduct. I could do sales again but not if my dad moves out as being able to pay rent or not being determined on comission makes anxiety so much worse.

I know it feels like it's the shitty PTSD, but really, it's called LIFE. Sometimes LIFE sucks. Hang in there and this too shall pass. Keep your head, don't lose it, and somehow things will work out.

Thank you! :hug: im relying on my step mom for rational steps at the moment as my brain is frozen at "OH MY GOD" mode.

 

[Deleted member 541]

@lostforgottensoul How do I get by???? Sometimes in my job it's either feast or famine. I clean houses for a living. It's tough work believe it or not, and sometimes some of my customers are complete pain in the asses. Most of the time though they are my adopted family and I love and respect everyone of them.

I know that OMG mode all to well..... Hang in there...

 

[aut555]

** I started to write this last night & fell asleep** Im sorry to have not read anyone's repl...

Sorry to hear all of this. Just try to keep moving forward. Don't give in, find something small, and try to smile. Sorry about tow truck issues.

 

[lostforgottensoul]

Im sorry i missed these posts. Im such a basket case right now.

It's possible it could just be a hit on your credit score or they could take you to court. It's also possible they rent out the place immediately and only keep your name as a "never rent to this person again." It usually costs them more money to chase after you than to just focus on renting the place out to someone new. Sometimes it's a good idea to give them a heads up months ahead of time, if you can, to avoid the situation altogether - but that can be risky if you're dealing with a strict landlord.

They're owned by a big realitor company. I know they own this apartment complex and the next to this one but its bigger. Like own more propetries and so its not like dealing with a single landlord, you know?

I dont know. My job laying off 8% of the entire company & then my car dies. Its such a crushing feeling. My only hope here is the fact that my dad lives with me and i dont think he would leave until im ok-ish on my own and my step mom is trying to console me about it. Not that she has the final say but she sees how frantic i am so shes trying to help.

Have you looked into IT contracting jobs? or help desk? I was in the field years ago with only experience and for interim pay, I worked long distance from a company as a contractor sent out to do onsite work... was paid only for the jobs I accepted.

I have. Theres not many IT jobs in Florida as Ive worked (early 20s) with some way more qualified then I having issues with that. Ive searched for just about every job in every area of IT and they want a BA or at least certificates which i have neither and am self taught but nothing backs my knowledge.

And its sort of part this and part that knowledge anyway as i was searching for "my place" in IT so i cant really say i have all networking knowledge or all C Programming knowledge or whatever. I build computers (desktops & laptops) out of free broken ones. Ive done that for years. Im just so very angry with myself for not fighting to go to college or not paying for certifications. So now i have nothing according to employers.

I dont have knowledge to start my own sort of computer "fix it" business but no people base to start off or money for advertising or anything. Ive tried that several times throughout the years getting money here and there working on websites for small companies but i dont have any sort of network of people that know my knowledge and most people look for some proof that you know what you are doing before handing over their computer to you and i dont have that. Word of mouth would be my best friend but havent stuck myself out there enough for anyone to say "she knows her shit".

Im honestly not trying to be negitive or shoot down stuff. Ive just tried it many times as computers are my passion and failed each time. I dont have enough knowledge in one area. Like this site for instance. The IT part. I know a lot about the inner workings of a site like this but i couldnt build it from ground up you know? I can learn. Sure. But do i have that amount of time? And what would i be learning it for? Certifications are like $200 each and id need several. Networking is my main passion and i wanted to get them and apply at the big "networking hub" that serves internet to this whole area (my current company) but if they are laying me off i dont have the time or money to spend on that.

I wish i could take off time to go to school but how do i get the loans or grants to do so (and have money to live on)? Something to look into but my credit score is in the 400s. Not sure anyone would give me a school loan. Though if anyone knows of good ways please let me know so i can check it out. Though most students i know of have jobs too so i dont know.

Also my car just died...

Now im rambling, sorry.

but you're gonna be okay. You're tougher than you give yourself credit for.

I dont feel "tough" so i'll have to take your word for that. Thanks! :hug:

I clean houses for a living.

If i had the physical abilty id do that...or any number of physical jobs but i cant even clean my own home let alone someone elses... :(

Just try to keep moving forward. Don't give in, find something small, and try to smile.

Im trying. Its so hard right now to smile about much. I slept a lot today once my step mom convinced me to not tow my car to Firestone. We know a local good (a CHEAP) mechanic but i dont have his new number. He uses his cell number and works with a local tire & rim shop for a place to work but i spent an hour this morning and couldnt for the life of me find the name of it. He has his own tow truck and has, for free, towed my car there and drove it back to my house. Its a few blocks down.

My step mom convinced me to take a taxi to and from work tomorrow and Friday (another $80) even though ive never taken a taxi and have a HUGE fear of them. I called the taxi service to pick me up tomorrow for work. I could take the bus to work and a taxi back home which will save me $40 (2 days) so may do that but the bus stop is a walk and i have no idea where the bus stop is at work and its so hard to walk just to get the mail let alone to the bus stop. I dont know what to do. It takes longer but if you call Lynx they will tell you what time to pick up what bus and what other bus to get on to get to your desitnation on time. I guess its good i live right outside Orlando. We have a good bus system. They dont run at 11pm when i get off of work so i dont know.

Once my dad gets home i can take his car until i can fix mine or buy another one so its just for 2 days.

I cant think...my mind is mush. Im sorry guys. :sorry:

 

[aut555]

Im sorry i missed these posts. Im such a basket case right now.



They're owned by a big re...

Ok it's seems bad, but that's kinda of how life slams us. I had to deal with divorce and extreme trauma, etc., at the same time and grieve the end of my marriage, loss of daughter, and the cutest cat, and dog of my lifetime. So l feel you and know you feel overwhelmed. Its how you handle this that helps you mature. For experience, try try try to find a nonprofit that needs help with computers, try calling around. Maybe they can't pay diddly squat, but they could pay for certification because it's a tax w/o l believe. Maybe you could work weekends there. Try looking for a scholarship or program that you may fit the financial requirements. There is no easy answer, you have to go out and peddle yourself, jump on the internet and see if some free online training. You have to do the hard work. Good luck, put yourself out there.

 

[sedna]

Lostforgottensoul !

Bad week for you!!! I was totally feeling sorry for myself until now too.

You qualify for disability Id guess.
Moving to a section 8 housing and getting the low income disabled paperwork together would pay for a degree or certificate here. I can only speak for west coast laws though.

Landlord can work with you on the situation. Once Again, if you have paperwork calling you disabled- or go get some now, its a good start to making yourself a difficult person to evict.
If you are laid off from company cuts and no fault of your own then that is also in your favor. If you have taken care of the place and paid on time until now its even better.
At the very least you can try to get out of your lease based on your disability after being laid off.

And....Ive actually found that my lack of credentials ultimately got me hired.
Im skilled and experienced but they would have to pay someone that had a state license more to do what Im doing.

Its like hiring a smart trustworthy person to handle your finances instead of paying an accountant twice as much.
You just have to know how to market yourself well.

Hang in there!

 

[lostforgottensoul]

Maybe you could work weekends there.

In Ft Myers back when I was 23 I used to work weekends as a 2nd job for Dell. We sat up, programmed (their stuff) new desktops at A.G Edwards. It was at night and only on the weekends and we got mailed a weekly check from Dell. It was $30 an hour and took all night both nights so the check was a few hundred. Not bad for a second job. But that was a hookup by a guy I knew at my first job that vouched for me. I have no idea how to find something like that again. Obviously I'll look. But I want something a bit more soild and more money. You know?

You qualify for disability Id guess.

Yes but that takes YEARS here. My step mom has the physical. Not the mental but certiantly the physical and more of it. More wrong then I do. Doesnt mean I have less pain but theres not proof of pain you cant see. Her brother was on disabilty and said he went to a therapist and "acted crazy". Whatever. Im crazy without acting. But it took him over a year to get approved. Back pay, yes, but what do you do for that year? Most especually if you are supposed to be so disabled you cant work?

My step mom's drug on for 5 years. Got the final no and had to start all over.

Im just unlucky enough to be single. There are so many homeless disabled vets. Ive spoken to many of them. If they are forgotten, why do i think they give a shit about me? Florida sucks ass! I miss KS! Was so much easier to live there!

 

[lostforgottensoul]

I knew if I went online and read about the layoffs I was going to get upset. I was right. I dont get it, I just dont. They just laid off 1,000 people a year ago and now this one is roughly 3,000 to 3,400 people by Dec 16th because a product that I dont even mainly support is declining due to the technology age.

I dont get it! I feel so helpless! I adore my job and am just so helpless. I cant do anything better as its not about my job preformance.

 

[sedna]

In Ft Myers back when I was 23 I used to work weekends as a 2nd job for Dell. We sat up, pro...

You arent applying for full disability coverage.
Its no income section 8 and using medical disability to apply for educational fees waved and grants.
Thats different! a lot easier to get.

 

[lostforgottensoul]

That exists @coco9? Ive heard of section 8 but not the rest. Is it based on physical and/or mental disabilty or low income?

The extent on assit ive ever gotten was food stamps, once. Im not familiar with government/State assit stuff.

 

[sedna]

Yes, you need to be unemployed and have your current doctors fill out paperwork that you are physically or mentally or a combination of the two, unable to work while you receive treatment and therapy for a temporary period of time that may be determined later but is not in the immediate short term.
Your therapist can help you A LOT with this. You deserve a college ed. if you want it, let them help.
I'll see what the law is there and ask my asst. to look up the avenue.

The thing that happens to people with this, is that they dont know whats available and when they ask, often they don't want to tell you about it because the resources are tied up.

Florida has high immigration, high poverty outside of the hotspots, and Vets.
You are NOT taking something from anyone when you get assistance like this. Your own paycheck covers the
tax that provides this like the rest of us.
It is not asking for being supported or having children intentionally expecting the Gov. to support them.

Your education provides taxes to our resources when youre employed well, it also keeps you off welfare in sickness, old age, and your children will not be wards of the state etc.

( I hope you realize Im making a theoretical point, not about you or any other person that shouldn't feel any shame about needing help, its about you and a tax $ point )

I'll have a look and let you know what I find.

 

[lostforgottensoul]

I'll have a look and let you know what I find.

Yes, please! Thank you!

My therapist has made comments (more directed to my intellengence which he sees but I dont) that it was a shame that this happened. That if i were able to go to school that i could be doing much better. And the comment looks like a bad one but its true and school is something ive always wanted but was never able to figure out how to do and today it looks rather impossible.

My therapist doesnt mind filling out forms. He generally takes a session to and thats ok with me. My pain dr not so much but if I were to be honest, my mental health right now is a huge road block. My pain will never get better but there are many higher paying jobs that i can do if i were to have a degree that i can do with the pain.

Does it give you medical benefits? Because not only do i have to go to my therapist weekly but my pain Dr has to keep filling up this pain pump thats now in me. Since his last concentration change thats every 2 months and its EXPENSIVE. Thousands that i have to pay a hundred or so after insurence and many oral medications still. The Seriquel XR is the most expensive of them all. Over $500.