My Abuser Was Out Of My Home Yesterday

[yes]

I have got CPTSD after an abusive relationship. I have been No Contact fro 46 days now. Until now I thought I was being "ghosted" as he never reached out. I have been trying my best to recover. I have no evidence of my abuse which was emotional but not only emotional. I am currently trying EMDR.

Yesterday I came back home from work and I parked my car. I answered my mobile, I lifted my eyes and there he was. I live in a very busy area in my town, in the suburbs. He was piercing me with his eyes. He was walking embraced to his new woman. He was actually waving her to my face. I just froze.

Of course I was badly triggered and I came back home shaken. I tried not to react in any way. How am I supposed to heal if he shows up in this way. What kind of person walks out of the front door of his ex embracing his new woman? An abuser. A sadist.

I have been feeling so bad. Please help me with any words of advice you can. It would be so appreciated.

 

[aut555]

I have got CPTSD after an abusive relationship. I have been No Contact fro 46 days now. Until now I thought...

Sadly l can relate to some of your pain. I suffer from emotional sabotage and gaslight tactics, the list goes on and on. l went to therapy, but my pain is why me, why did l let this covert aggressor get so far (18 years) ? Sadly, at this point, l would pay a lady to approach him, just to occupy his brain, and leave me alone. I have more of a fear that he will not stay away. It's strange how you and l went down different paths. I understand it hurts but l also feel bad for the new victim. Is this the first relationship of this type (abusive) for you? In my case, it truly was. So l have spent a lot of time evaluating childhood abuse issues. Hope you are doing better, hope you are able to release the hold he has on you. It took about two solid years to really work on my feelings. Sending compassion your way

 

[Casey_03]

Only a sick person would do that intentionally. I guess that woman is his next victim. I sense from your posts that you want him to show some remorse for how he treated you -- which is completely normal and I think all victims of abuse desire that. I know I do. But you should use this incident to remind yourself that he's just not a good guy. And never will be. So you can only be glad that he's gone. 46 days is not a very long time at all, certainly not long enough to heal. So yes, you will feel like crap over this for a while, but I have faith that you will gradually feel better and better, and eventually he will not have this effect on you anymore. You just have to weather the storm a bit for now.

 

[yes]

I just cannot accept such a cruelty. Why. Why

 

[yes]

Can you help me to understand well the reasons why he does that? Why is it so important to him to destroy me? He has already succeeded in that.