I heard the voice of one of my abusers yesterday

[emily1890]

he was in the neighbourhood to see a friend, and I heard him speak as she opened the door

I literally froze right there on the pathway, a look of absolute terror came across my face and I started shaking


Guess it made me realise I am no closer to dealing with these things. ugg.

 

[OliveJewel]

Sorry that happened. My abuser lives in my neighborhood too and I see him occasionally. Never easy. My brain dreams about all the ways I would deal with him if he were close to me. It does get easier—exposure therapy—but it just sucks, no way around it—I feel you.

 

[emily1890]

Sorry that happened. My abuser lives in my neighborhood too and I see him occasionally. Never easy. My brain dreams about all the ways I would deal with him if he were close to me. It does get easier—exposure therapy—but it just sucks, no way around it—I feel you.

Ah... I've been there. dreaming about the ways I would deal with him

thanks for the support!

 

[arfie]

Guess it made me realise I am no closer to dealing with these things. ugg.

i respectfully disagree, emily. awareness of what was actually happening in the here and now while in the grips of a trigger event is a major step forward.

i like to think of my recovery as a spiral staircase. yes, i keep coming back to the same old dreary places, but my perspective is a bit different on each go-round. if i keep on stepping, i find myself on a whole new level.

steadying support and gentle encouragement to keep on stepping.
healing happens. hope it happens here.

 

[Tinyflame]

i love @arfie 's analogy. A lighthouse replica I was in had that. Dreary and dark as it was there was light at the top.

Totally get it feels destabalizing and scary. Hugs to you.