Research False Memories Not As Easy To Plant As Touted

[Gs172003]

This is the woman I was talking about.

Link Removed

 

[Gs172003]

In the grand scheme of things, our mind constantly tweaks memory, even the common every day stuff. It...

Hypnosis is one that is being said to bring false memory

 

[shimmerz]

Did your adoptive parents make that up? Did you find out the real reason?

Hi @missy meier. My adoptive parents are 30+ years gone now. I had no way of asking them. My brain, when I was hit with active PTSD about 10 years ago or so, lost a very specific belief system that had framed much of my life experiences. I spent just over a year in hell while that was being dismantled and my entire life was 'rearranged' in my head.

Fascinating stuff, if it isn't happening to you.

A very large part of that process involved forensically relying on memories of situations (1 in particular) and putting into this new context. At that time I realized that they knew, but had chosen not to tell me. I believe much of the reason they chose to lie to me about it was due to the belief systems about trauma not being stored in the body.... that it is forgotten. And how do you tell a child that she was hated... hurt.... neglected, abused without potentially crushing her soul.

Ultimately, it was up to me to figure out my truth, what made sense to me and work from there. Much of that involved reading my body reactions and trusting in them. I like the 'what if' strategy that was presented by @watundah's T suggested. It is such a process.

I think the most important thing that I let go of was the script that played in my head that I was an attention seeking liar..... and that I was somehow gaining from these memories. Once I let that go things seemed to fall into place for me.

 

[Gs172003]

Hi @missy meier. My adoptive parents are 30+ years gone now. I had no way of aski...

How old were you when you were adopted?

 

[shimmerz]

I think it is important to mention here, after having read these articles, is that traumatic memories are not stored in the same way that 'normal' memories are. These studies, from what I understand in these papers, are based on memories. Normal, everyday memories.

I would be much more interested in studies on memories that have integrated into the body. Those I would take more seriously on this topic.

I mean, in my situation, I had absolutely NO memories of abuse. Not one. But goddammit, when they came through in body memories, in night terrors, etc, and three years later I got written validation of my situation prior to my adoption.... there was no disputing that they were absolutely valid.

 

[shimmerz]

How old were you when you were adopted?

2 years old. Almost to the day. 20 foster homes prior to the adoption.

 

[watundah]

Excellent point. I also had problems accepting what was arising as truth, but somatic response and dissociation, said, "uh huh, see?" ("the body keeps the score")

 

[Gs172003]

2 years old. Almost to the day. 20 foster homes prior to the adoption.

As somebody not much of a fan of the foster care system, I'm sorry. As a parent if I adopted a small child in your situation I probably would have said the same thing. You'd been through enough. Was that too hard on you?

 

[Gs172003]

In other words would you have rathered the truth?

Ive gotten totally off topic. Sorry yall

 

[shimmerz]

"the body keeps the score"

This one thing saved me SO much time in my recovery. I know a ton of people who, years later in their recovery are still fighting this in their head.

problems accepting what was arising as truth,

That's why I like your T's response of 'what if'. You aren't committing yourself.... but simply testing out the possibilities. After a period of time I didn't even need to know the truth. I just trusted that my body was responding in a trauma-esq way and that I needed to take notice of it and work with it.

 

[Gs172003]

This one thing saved me SO much time in my recovery. I know a ton of people who, years later in their...

Yep. Im going through similar things though I know why. I have amnesia of the majority of said events but I know the "gist" of it.

 

[shimmerz]

In other words would you have rathered the truth?

OMG, I still struggle with this.

Shortest answer I can give would be...
When I was 15 I completely melted down. I acted out, I had nightmares that scared me so much I couldn't sleep. I was a mess. I got my parents to go to a counsellor.... And it was one sentence that the counsellor said that I pulled on when putting my story together again 30 years later.... 'You have to tell her! And I responded with 'Tell me WHAT?' I begged to know what it was. My parents still wouldn't tell me. They never did. Even when I met my birthparents several years later (and I found them because I was in activated PTSD mode, but didn't know what it was. I thought I was physically sick).

Had I learned what had happened while I was under the guidance of that counsellor, I believe that I would have had a much easier life... I would have understood my actions better, my going catatonic, my nightmares, my issues with moving and with women and with men and with.... well my vision of the world around me.

Thanks for asking this. It is the very first time that I can say with 100% certainty, YES, I would have been better off to know. But my parents couldn't have handled telling me the truth on their own. I needed a professional to help me work it out.

That being said, that knowledge would have changed the entire trajectory of my life. I can't guarantee that would have been a great thing either.