Peeping Tom Or Erotomaniac Roomate

[Kailani]

So, i have a Roomate that is ex military and about 15 years older than me. He was watering the front bushes too much. I realized it and put a sheet over my closet so you can't see my clothes or belongings. The bushes were growing way to much and the other girl roommates bushes weren't. I noticed three cigarette butts under my window like he had been checking things out awhile. He was trying to make me into this wife like Roomate with his comments about my cleaning, flowers, meals and stuff so I avoided him and noticed he started going to water the bushes. Every time I was opening my door he would open his after and come out, especially in the morning after I wake up. I told him to stay away from my window and that that I would do the front yard. I told him I am just here to study and don't want a relationship and that everytime I opened my door he was there. It has really screwed up my sleep and made me super hyper vigilant and have avoided him since- just really stressful. Any advice about anything would be great if people have the time. Should I be worried about him attacking me or being way too obsessed? Should I tell the other roomates or landlord? Should I be worried about my pets? Just curious about your opinions. Thank you

 

[hodge]

Those sound like red flags to me, too. Yes, tell your other roommates and your landlord.

 

[Casey_03]

What did he say when you confronted him about all this?

 

[aut555]

Can't imagine that. Omg, you need some privacy. Have you thought about moving? That is rather invasive behavior on his part. You have a right to not have some guy shoving unwanted attention down your throat. It seems that he is trying to annoy you with the silly little door games? That is so juvenile. Lordy!!

 

[Kailani]

When I confronted him he got really nervous at first then he got angry and denied that he was looking in the window and said he was just looking but I took pictures of the difference between the other plants growth in the yard. He denied that he was trying to have a relationship but I know he was lying cuz his efforts at trying to create a wife environment. I put a fake camera in the window for deterrent.

 

[EveHarrington]

Clueless guy at best, serious threat to your safety at worst. I hope it's more of the former although neither is ideal. :hug:

 

[Kailani]

Have you thought about moving?.

I have thought about it but I just moved here about 5 months ago and the landlord lets me have my pets; a dog and cat. Also I am strapped cuz I'm in school full time and have been working for a lower wage for the flexible hours and experience at a job I love. I think he should go but maybe I should look on the side.

 

[aut555]

Sadly, some vets have serious issues, and don't respect boundaries. The fact he got angry is not a good sign. He has issues with being confronted. You may want to start documenting these incidents just in case you need this at a future date. Just hope he does not enter into your area.

 

[aut555]

Have you thought about moving?.

I have thought ab...

Understanding that, one city l lived in, was just horrible for pet rentals. The rent was so high if you owned pets. Maybe in a year, you can move on. Sending hope and compassion to you.

 

[Kailani]

I got some wasp and hornet killer that shoots 20 feet away and will temporarily blind someone, at my bed in case he enters and I'm a good fighter from growing up in tough neighborhoods and working with violent men and life guarding but I also have a bunch of bad discs in my neck and back. Have a lock on the door and a dog. I've never had problems with vets before- have had tons of vet friends and love em which is why I thought it would be cool to have a few of them as roomates but I know some can be a bit off.

 

[Naoru]

You may want to start documenting these incidents just in case you need this at a future date.

This was my next thought after @hodge 's comment above. Document, document, document! It can't hurt and is a great idea if his behavior continues or gets worse, and you need to take further (legal) action. I really hope it doesn't, but you can't be too careful.

 

[hodge]

Good idea on the bug spray. Pepper spray is good, too. I also keep a long, sharp garden tool next to my side of the bed.

Jeez, think we have PTSD or something?