Is It Possible To Have Ptsd And Not Feel Suicidal?

[SophiaOfHearts293]

I used to feel suicidal and feel like a broken person because I can't seem to function properly because I am get anxious, my heart wouldn't stop beating fast and my mind is basically behaving in a haywire manner...which results in me getting nothing done.

My friend got upset when he saw me like that, and told me instead of killing myself, I should kill the person who has wronged me and I have a chance to get away with it, rather than to die alone and letting the person go unpunished. Even if I get caught and sentenced to death, I still get what I want. If I get away with it, I can live with the fact that justice has been served and the person will never bother me.

It changed my thinking a lot and I think it makes a lot of logical sense..I don't feel suicidal as often as before. Instead, I feel angry at the world - how can he get to live such a happy life while I wallow in my sad pathetic life?

 

[hodge]

Sophia - stop right there! Do NOT even pursue thoughts of killing your abuser. There is a good life beyond all this sh*t, and I say this as someone who is struggling with like 10 traumas. You do NOT want to live the rest of your life in prison. That will only get you more traumas. Please, please, hang in there. Do you have a therapist?

I know how you feel. One of my constant refrains is they screwed me up and I'm the one left to clean up the mess. I'm doing the best I can and it's not easy but the alternative is not really an alternative.

 

[SophiaOfHearts293]

Sophia - stop right there! Do NOT even pursue thoughts of killing your abuser. There is a good life beyon...

In Singapore, the death penalty is mandatory for premeditated murder...no life imprisonment for me, LOL

 

[GenerousMoon]

I, too have been abused. For a very long time I felt the same way. I wanted kill thise hurt me. Truthfully, what does that accomplish? Jail for the rest of your life & gives that person a winning ticket. They are dead with no pain or suffering. You will be sitting there in more emotional pain then you are now. We all are struggling emotional, psychological, & physically. Every day feel like im going to die. I couldnt imagine sitting in a jail cell everyday. Please stay strong and for once put yourself first. #stigma#mentalhealth.

 

[hodge]

Don't do it, Sophia hon. I have gone through really nasty crap with several abusers. None of them are worth throwing away my freedom for.

 

[SophiaOfHearts293]

Will anyone answer my question? Is it possible have PTSD and not feel suicidal?

 

[hodge]

Yes, it is. I've had PTSD for 10 years now and have not felt suicidal mostly.

I have twinges occasionally, but I will never go there. I will not hurt my loved ones that way.

 

[Naoru]

I went more than 10 years without being actively suicidal, if that counts.

 

[Deleted member 541]

@SophiaOfHearts293 Because people that abuse us, are assholes that have no feelings for others. They are sick and evil.. Yes, if you sought your abuser out and killed him, you would likely get jailed and sentenced to death. But you would rot in jail for a long time before that. Plus, you would be basically an abuser, just like yours.

Many of us have thoughts like this too, but we don't act on them, we try and deal with our trauma.

 

[hodge]

Yep, what @She Cat said. You do not want to have a murder hanging over your head. You will have to deal with that here in court and in the afterlife. And I don't care how awful he was, it's not a solution to kill him. You have to think of your own soul and give that priority. Would you really want something like this weighing on your soul? To have to answer for this kind of action to God? I don't know if you believe in God, but I believe we all have to go through some kind of accounting for our actions after we die.

Just, please, please, do not go there.

 

[GenerousMoon]

Yes, do not have to feel suicidal. There are many symtoms for ptsd. You do not need all of them.

 

[Cannottakethis]

I've had PTSD for 25 years and have gone long periods without feeling suicidal. And as I write this I am so depressed I'm almost numb, but I do want to live.

As for your friend @SophiaOfHearts293, I've had people say similar things to me about getting back at my abuser(s). One in particular. One day, when I'm more healed, I may pursue a legal route with that. But right now all I can focus on is getting well. If I obsess on revenge, I'm not working on myself, I'm avoiding, which I'm a master at, and has been my downfall in getting better. As much as the idea is tantalizing, we deserve to have a good life, not to go to jail for serving justice. I will let karma and God take over for now.