Why do people get so bent out of shape by a little cutting or scratching? If it helps me stay grounded, distracts from the flashbacks and help a me control the pain and it doesn't hurt anyone else why can't I?!?!? I can't fight everything all of the time i can't take it anymore
-
We are a multilingual website again. Read the notice about this.
-
Understand AI use at MyPTSD: all AI use is explained in our AI help page. AI use is by choice here. It exists if you want it, but does nothing unless you choose to use it.
What's So Bad About Self Harm?
- Post starter Sheera
- Start date
- Status
totsnapple
New Here
I myself use to self harm and think the same thing. I think people just don't understand the real psychology behind self harm. Some do different things to stay grounded. Just make sure you are cleaning your wounds and such. You don't ever really need to explain yourself to people, I think they also just care about you. I care about you.
- Post starter
- #3
Friday
Sponsor
Why do people get so bent out of shape about bar fights, or starving yourself, or illegal drug use?
People care about you.
It doesn't matter if the only person you're hurting is yourself. You matter. Even to many strangers. And a great many people do understand. Not just the self harm, but the pain that drives it. They don't "just" want to see the self harm gone, but also the easing of the cause. & no one who understands it thinks it's easy. The best things in life are rarely easy. They still want the best life for you.
People care about you.
It doesn't matter if the only person you're hurting is yourself. You matter. Even to many strangers. And a great many people do understand. Not just the self harm, but the pain that drives it. They don't "just" want to see the self harm gone, but also the easing of the cause. & no one who understands it thinks it's easy. The best things in life are rarely easy. They still want the best life for you.
EveHarrington
VIP Member
Cuz eventually you get to the point where self harm runs your life. You're constantly doing it just to feel ok.
- Post starter
- #6
But I'm not hurting anyone and it's the least harmful 'habit' I probably have.. I'm not killing myself... I sort of get the food thing I have an eating disorder food is something I constantly struggle with but scratching even helps me eat.. .. It doesn't make sense not to see the benefits of it
EveHarrington
VIP Member
But you're hurting yourself. It's much better to learn how to cope in a positive way instead of a harmful way.
- Post starter
- #8
EveHarrington
VIP Member
Do you know alternative coping skills?
- Moderator
- #10
Sideways
VIP Member
I always try and keep self-harm in perspective, because there are degrees. In the long run, the goal is ultimately to be able to treat yourself nicely, like you matter, because you do. It's about getting to the point where you don't feel so overwhelmed by your emotions that it's necessary at all.
Whether or not the goal of stopping self-harm is a priority depends a lot on the self-harm. A person who flicks a rubber band on their wrist every so often? That wouldn't be one of my biggest priorities.
But if the person is taking a razor to their wrist? It becomes more urgent, and the reasons are multiple. First, it's a sign that they're really not coping on an emotional level - they're in a lot more emotional pain than they know how to tolerate, and that's not okay.
Second, long term, a lot of people become incredibly self-conscious about the scars. When they're in the thick of it, it's the last thing on their mind, but 5 years later when they're in a much better place, the daily reminder to themselves and the rest of the world can become a real problem.
Third, unless you're a surgeon, you don't have the training to take a razor to your wrists safely. You may not hit any major arteries, but do you know how to avoid nerve damage? Because losing control of your hand is a real disability. And that's not the goal. May not seem significant, but it's going to make your life a lot harder than it needs to be. Add to that the complications of infection, stitches, loss of blood (especially if whoops, you do hit an artery...)
Fourth, on an almost subconscious level (though for some people it's one of the goals of SH), the behaviour reinforces feelings of shame, guilt, I'm worth treating like rubbish...It's kinda like treating a hangover wirh more vodka. It's very hard to get to the point where you genuinely like yourself when you're treating yourself to SH all the time.
I'm self-harm sober for 5 months. I self-harmed for several years (not cutting, other stuff) with my T being concerned, encouraging me to learn other ways of coping, but essentially letting me do what I felt I needed to get by. Until it escalated and turned seriously dangerous. At that point, he drew the line. So perspective and prioritising will change from one situation to another. Ultimately, though, the goal is to be able to treat yourself with kindness.
Whether or not the goal of stopping self-harm is a priority depends a lot on the self-harm. A person who flicks a rubber band on their wrist every so often? That wouldn't be one of my biggest priorities.
But if the person is taking a razor to their wrist? It becomes more urgent, and the reasons are multiple. First, it's a sign that they're really not coping on an emotional level - they're in a lot more emotional pain than they know how to tolerate, and that's not okay.
Second, long term, a lot of people become incredibly self-conscious about the scars. When they're in the thick of it, it's the last thing on their mind, but 5 years later when they're in a much better place, the daily reminder to themselves and the rest of the world can become a real problem.
Third, unless you're a surgeon, you don't have the training to take a razor to your wrists safely. You may not hit any major arteries, but do you know how to avoid nerve damage? Because losing control of your hand is a real disability. And that's not the goal. May not seem significant, but it's going to make your life a lot harder than it needs to be. Add to that the complications of infection, stitches, loss of blood (especially if whoops, you do hit an artery...)
Fourth, on an almost subconscious level (though for some people it's one of the goals of SH), the behaviour reinforces feelings of shame, guilt, I'm worth treating like rubbish...It's kinda like treating a hangover wirh more vodka. It's very hard to get to the point where you genuinely like yourself when you're treating yourself to SH all the time.
I'm self-harm sober for 5 months. I self-harmed for several years (not cutting, other stuff) with my T being concerned, encouraging me to learn other ways of coping, but essentially letting me do what I felt I needed to get by. Until it escalated and turned seriously dangerous. At that point, he drew the line. So perspective and prioritising will change from one situation to another. Ultimately, though, the goal is to be able to treat yourself with kindness.
- Post starter
- #11
EveHarrington
VIP Member
That's better than cutting or scratching.
Are there certain things that will soothe you?
Are there certain things that will soothe you?
- Status
Similar posts
Donation drives
Trending content
-
-
What Are You Feeling Today? Not Thinking, Rather Feeling! Can You Identify Yours?
- goingonhope
Comments: 34K -
-
-
-
