What's So Bad About Self Harm?

[Casey_03]

I think there is always a fear that self-harming can escalate. I don't know if that's true for everyone who self harms, but I've known a lot of self-harmers who started out just scratching and wound up later cutting so deep it would hit arteries. But I guess that depends on the person's motivation for self-harming. Either way, i recognize that it's a coping tool, and in many cases can help someone calm down, but it really is no different than using drugs or alcohol. (I say this as someone who used to self harm)

 

[Kolten]

Often it seems anyone with PTSD has a strong sense of loss of control. Self harm in many ways seems to be a way of maintaining some kind of control in an out of control situation. Example being if you are having an episode many people begin to self harm due to not being able to pull themselves out of the episode or be in any kind of control at that point. People engaging in this need to be careful and aware this often leads to bigger more damaging things that can be irrevocable. I myself have done self harm for the above reasons. I resonate with the why. I now have scars in places you cannot hide and I see them daily and honestly it gives me anxiety when looking at it knowing I permanently did that to my body. To each their own. I'm not here to be the Right or wrong judge. Just be careful it can lead to a destructive path you cant reverse.

 

[shimmerz]

I am finding that my relationship to my body really seems to be at the core of healing. And it is a tough go. I try to think of it a bit like this. I think it would be a big deal if I were to cut my child, my husband, my cat, my dog..... and normally when I see that something seems 'whatever-ish' for me and a horror to think of my doing to someone or something else, then I know I have to work on my mind/body relationship in a big way.

I won't be well at the end of the day if I refuse to look at ending psychological or physical harm towards myself. I think this thought pattern of 'so what' really needs to be challenged.

 

[Pixielicious]

But I'm not hurting anyone and it's the least harmful 'habit' I probably have.. I'm not killing myself....

Yes you are. You're hurting and punishing yourself.

I have deep scars on both my arms where I used to slash myself repeatedly with a butchers knife when I couldn't explain the way I was feeling. We're talking about deep muscle cuts here.
And it all began with a little scratch.
Because I didn't know how to express myself I had to cut myself to FEEL the pain of the cut, and in my mind as I watched the blood dripping everywhere it was the expression of the feelings that I couldn't express. I did this secretly, nobody knew.
But one day It dawned on me, what if somebody I loved was doing what I was doing, what would I do?
I realised there and then that I had to stop what I was doing but it was difficult to stop because I had become addicted to the cutting and again (story of my life) had no one to talk to.

So I decided to 'punish' myself in a different way... Because I craved that intense pain that cutting gave...Like You crave a cigarette... . I began to have tattoos and piercings. They were 100 x more painful than mere cutting.
And now I look at my piercings and tattoos with pride because they are the marks of a Warrior to me.
I intend on getting lots more tattoos because the urge to self harm never really goes away.....And imo tattoos and piercings are beautiful to look at too... So, at the end of the day I've lost nothing, and I still get to 'self harm' but in a secretive and pretty way...hehe

If you Google 'body modification' you'll also find things called, scarring, branding and under the skin implants... These are extreme body modification methods, but I don't need them because tattooing is painful enough for me. :inlove:

 

[lostforgottensoul]

I try to think of it a bit like this. I think it would be a big deal if I were to cut my child, my husband, my cat, my dog..... and normally when I see that something seems 'whatever-ish' for me and a horror to think of my doing to someone or something else, then I know I have to work on my mind/body relationship in a big way.

That's a HUGE thing. Could I hurt or see being hurt or that is hurting child? Dog? Cat? Anyone? No! But it's ok for me. Justified even. Why? Well, my brain justifies it in a way as most would by saying a murderer (or said horrible crime) should get the death penality and want to watch them die. I'm said murderer. It's hard to change that.

But, that being said, self harm isn't good nor is it a good way to cope. Not for me or you or anyone. It is hard to stop, I agree. But the urges do/can go away @Pixielicious, they do ease with time and after a long time of using an alternate and constructive coping skill(s), self harming will eventually not even be a thought.

I was there. For a few months. I know. From self harming up to 8 times a day to it not even crossing my mind. Things have changed now but if i was allowed to stay on the path i was on, i am positive thay it would have stayed gone and I would have been in a much better place now. It didnt happen that way but i am saying there is hope to fully 100% overcoming the urges to self harm.

And you, all, are worth it!

 

[shimmerz]

Could I hurt or see being hurt or that is hurting child? Dog? Cat? Anyone? No! But it's ok for me.

Yeah, I use this as a form of externalization (can I see it from outside of me). Not to beat myself up over or feel shame over but to challenge the idea that it is okay for anyone (besides my ex ;-) ) to suffer in whatever self harm way I am attempting to adjust.

What would that 'external' person want instead? And ice cream? A teddy? A blanket? It takes some time but even getting the idea of some form of self comfort to hit the higher brain is a start, you know?

 

[Tinyflame]

Maybe there are less harmful ways to distract from the FB's, manage the pain, & feel self-empathy for yourself when you were that age, & what you did in response to the happenings (the empthy you'd give to anyone else the same age going through what you did).

:hug:

 

[8888]

Sorry to hear you are struggling. My therapist said it can get addicting and what starts of as a little self harm could get worse and worse until it becomes a real danger. That's likely the reasoning.

 

[lostforgottensoul]

My therapist said it can get addicting

It can. When your body is physically harmed endorphines and a bunch of natural chemical are released. It's thought that you can get addicted to these natural chemicals.

Also, as a cutter, I think a big addicting property is the fact that it numbs me for a small while. So not a perm thing, it can be addicting to know you can numb yourself. Just as a drug does.

I admitted to my therapist I was addicted to it because I was.

 

[Pakadlangitok]

Interesting post! I tend to think it is not good though, because it leaves scars and later on, as other posters said, they are hard to explain AND it can escalate. And of course, it can kill. One of my friends sucided and I often wonder if it was a mistake.

I never did a lot of that except when I was actively being abused. It did indeed escalate. Then it got to be the only way to get help! I would ask for help and no dice. THEN I would ask with blood on the arm and poof. Help. So I got very pissed off at that and decided I would never ever harm myself just because we live in such an F(*)ed up world. NEVER again.

Once I realized my motive was based on asking for help, I found other ways, which of course often do not work because of the health care issues in ALL countries when it comes to mental health. So I come here :) I find other ways to just sit with it.

 

[lostforgottensoul]

Then it got to be the only way to get help! I would ask for help and no dice. THEN I would ask with blood on the arm and poof. Help.

Two different kinds of self harm. The kind you describe, an attention seeking behavior as a way to ask for help. And the kind I did/do that is hidden and if someone saw my upper arms and other hidden places, then "my cat scratched me" or some other excuse. It's not used by a way to ask for help but as a hidden way to cope.

 

[Deleted member 37343]

People probably get "bent out of shape" because they either care about you or you're doing an unnatural behavior. Generally, humans were made to survive and expend as little energy as possible. Self harm uses all that up and puts you in danger. I can see why harming may help you eat, but is there any other methods that can help you cope with the flashbacks and anxiety without having to hurt yourself?

I used to self harm, for different reasons, and it becomes an addictive thing. First I was cutting, then I was burning, then burning stuff besides myself, drank alcohol, overdosed on pills, smoking, and finally after all that and failed attempts at suicide.. I got bored of it. The feelings became so familiar that I got bored which I find ironic. People do these actions to feel something out of the ordinary and it became too routine for me that it was no longer a special feeling.

Maybe try looking at self harm as an addiction. When you harm yourself, your body wants to keep you safe and so there is a slight adrenaline rush, body is working immediately to keep you going, but your built up energy needs to be used on something and you've got your blade and arm right in front of you..

I suggest speaking with a therapist about this and try to figure out other ways to cope with the strong emotions because one day you'll mess up and bleed out.