Worried Over Tomorrow's Session

[Lilith Jane]

Isn't it a great term?! NightSky brought it to this thread for the first time, but I think it's originally from Brene Brown . . . an excellent way to describe one of the rough side effects of choosing to let others in to our lives. Because openness is very risky and scary, but it also holds the possibility of great growth and healing. It takes a lot of courage!

 

[NightSky]

Isn't it a great term?! NightSky brought it to this thread for the first time, but I think it's ori...

Yes, Brené Brown uses the term. And for anyone who is struggling with the shame and vulnerability aspect of their journey I would highly recommend her books. And her Ted talks. So eye opening.

 

[Lilith Jane]

Totally agree . . . Brene Brown's work has definitely changed the way I live my life. Great stuff.

Bristol, how is your week going?

 

[Bristol]

@Lilith Jane ill have to have a look into her. Not having a great week, hows your week going?

 

[Bristol]

Im putting this out there in case anyone can relate so my T just cancelled tonights session. This morning i was all for quitting, its too hard and i hate it, so why is it bothering me so much that she has cancelled session and i now have a week until my next one? I am loosing the plot completely, i dont know why this is stressing me out

 

[Silver.]

Perhaps because it wasn't cancelled on your terms? You have expectations of her that she follows through with the session, and she didn't. just a thought

 

[Bristol]

Thanks Silver, think the loss of control is part of it but wish it didnt matter!

 

[NightSky]

I absolutely feel the same when that happens. It's hard work, and I'm nervous as hell every single week even after a year and a half. But if/when she cancels, I hate it. Because all week I have internal dialogue with her. And all week I am forming questions for her and I do put a lot of stock into that hour slot, hoping to make progress in some way. When she cancels I feel like I'm alone with all of those thoughts/questions and of course the sneaking suspicion that is totally unfounded is that I am unimportant and she doesn't care. The smaller me kicks in and jump starts all of my insecurities. I totally get the torn feeling.

 

[Bristol]

@NightSky that is exactly it, one of my loudest thoughts yesterday was that i wasnt important enough, and that she thought i wasnt worth seeing and that she sees people who deal with far worse so why would she even care. Im glad it isnt just me in that case