Things To Work On

[Suzetig]

thanks again guys, if anyone has any other ideas on healthy couples ideas for a person with PTSD and the other with some anger issues, like writing our thughts down instead of yelling back and forth etc. Id love to hear

Get some space, physically, literally, get some space. We aren't meant to be around one other person 24/7, that's a recipe for disaster and also a potential red flag in a relationship. No one person can fulfil all of our needs and that level of isolation could be a method of control to keep one or other of you in a relationship you might otherwise leave if you had support.

We all need time alone for reflection, time with friends to relax and purposeful time - e.g. employment, voluntary work, community groups so you both have something to bring back to the relationship. We also need privacy, even in our most intimate relationships we need something that is just for ourselves. For me therapy serves some of that purpose - an intimate, private relationship where I am 100% me and 100% honest with someone who is wholly trustworthy.

What you describe sounds too close to be honest, there's doesn't seem to be any space for you both as individuals - which even in the best of circumstances would breed anger, frustration and resentment and yours doesn't sound like the best of circumstances.

 

[Bloomy]

@lovely.rabbit Ill let my post stand as according to what you wrote after. It confirm what I was thinking. You seem to be a person with good abilities of self reflecting and I thought your boyfriend might not be all that bad but as you write its a dym\nmaic between you. It sounds you come a long way in healing. Its a touchy issue and painful, but important to see ones own role in interaction with others.

I really hope the best for you and your boyfriend and that youll be able to work it out. Further for you to process your dream I think would do you good as written above.

As to healthy couples - maybe express what you feel instead if yelling. And what you need? One of my former had fex the habit of leaving in a discussion that might be to close for him. It was frustrating and hurtful. I guess first I didnt act my best when it happend, but then I figured out If I dont tell him how I feel and what I need then how he is suppsed to know? So I told him when you leave in a discussion it hurts. I need you to stay even if yu might ot have anything to say. I also asked him with an open mind what he felt when he did that as to understand him. He said that from his side it felt dificult when our discussions came to a certain point. After we had this talk he stopped leaving and tried his best to stay and be present even if he might not have so much to say to begin with.

Take well care and blessings

 

[Gs172003]

We are already moved in together for about 10 months, we have known eachother for 7 years.
But i...

You realize you continually make excuses for his behavior, right? Him being "sarcastic" is not an excuse to be a jerk. Please for the love of all things holy get help. You sound waaaay to much like me with my ex. I came out of that a mess.

 

[The Albatross]

If a couple is committed, communication and partnership relational styles can be learned and/or be improved upon but it takes both parties.

 

[Gs172003]

If a couple is committed, communication and partnership relational styles can be learned and/or be...

And I hope that's how it is. If it is, it can be wonderful.