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What Has Ptsd Cost You?
- Post starter Bloomy
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Nikki Carter
New Here
PTSD has cost me, that excited feeling you get when someone you want touches you, being comfortable in large groups of people you just met, any relationships attached to my ex, being able to handle stress in a casual manner, having an average startle reaction, being able to enter a relationship without paranoia of rejection or abuse.
Recovery has afforded me, higher standards in the people I want around me, the ability to see unhealthy personalities traits in others, a better understanding of human pain, alternative ways to handle stress and anxiety, and a new confidence that comes from the knowledge that nothing can lessen me.
Recovery has afforded me, higher standards in the people I want around me, the ability to see unhealthy personalities traits in others, a better understanding of human pain, alternative ways to handle stress and anxiety, and a new confidence that comes from the knowledge that nothing can lessen me.
What Has Ptsd Cost You?
not much, just my.... ability to trust, my potential, my earning power, my relationships, my physical health, my ability to interact with society, my ability to leave my house, my ability to have joy, relax, and have any sense of well-being.
So, like I say, not much.
not much, just my.... ability to trust, my potential, my earning power, my relationships, my physical health, my ability to interact with society, my ability to leave my house, my ability to have joy, relax, and have any sense of well-being.
So, like I say, not much.
Gs172003
Diamond Member
Really? I don't know. I don't remember who I was.
Panda Bear
Platinum Member
I've gotten way more out of my PTSD than I ever had before.
Really.....
Tough road, but infinite rewards.
Really.....
Tough road, but infinite rewards.
Gs172003
Diamond Member
Can you explain?
Panda Bear
Platinum Member
@Zoogal
It's complicated. I think.
My PTSD has very much changed the trajectory of my life. At times it wasn't always for the better, but once those times were seen through? It really did turn out for the better.
My PTSD had taught me how to love, really love! Love myself and my family. My marriage has grown and faced incredible challenges that we've conquered!! I have a husband that has grown personally too. He is a better husband and father because of the things he's had to go through with me as his wife. He's more involved with our kids, he understands me better. He has a better understanding at his work(he manages a large grocery store and has many different types of employees). I've learned to love in the face of fear and hurt. That love is not conditional. My children have a MUCH SAFER AND HAPPIER mother!!! Present and available they're needs are being met in a positive way. Yes, I have bad days. But we aren't stuck in bad years on end. They're finally safe and cared for in a way they deserve. They will grow up and be able to be the new generation that isn't going to repeat the cycle of abuse and neglect.
Human connection...I've gained many new, safe, positive, and loving friendships that I have strong connections too. They can be caring if me and I'm able to be caring of them too!! Being able to open myself up and be vulnerable seemed like a horrid idea a few years ago, but now it's almost second nature. The once learned behavior that all humans are bad and will hurt me, is a distant feeling if the past.
Freedom....the cycle has been broken. My mom can't hurt me anymore, I don't have to feel small and alone. I'm strong and capable, and I finally believe that!!!! I can face life 85% of the time. :). My scares have faded and they don't own me anymore. I own them!
I can talk about my past and feel alright, I've been asked to speak publicly about my journey and will for the first time in January.
But really, my life is AMAZING and I wouldn't change the pain of my journey for anything in this world. Even it I have PTSD and will always have to work harder than most to have a stable life. I'd rather live this way than my old ways.
It's complicated. I think.
My PTSD has very much changed the trajectory of my life. At times it wasn't always for the better, but once those times were seen through? It really did turn out for the better.
My PTSD had taught me how to love, really love! Love myself and my family. My marriage has grown and faced incredible challenges that we've conquered!! I have a husband that has grown personally too. He is a better husband and father because of the things he's had to go through with me as his wife. He's more involved with our kids, he understands me better. He has a better understanding at his work(he manages a large grocery store and has many different types of employees). I've learned to love in the face of fear and hurt. That love is not conditional. My children have a MUCH SAFER AND HAPPIER mother!!! Present and available they're needs are being met in a positive way. Yes, I have bad days. But we aren't stuck in bad years on end. They're finally safe and cared for in a way they deserve. They will grow up and be able to be the new generation that isn't going to repeat the cycle of abuse and neglect.
Human connection...I've gained many new, safe, positive, and loving friendships that I have strong connections too. They can be caring if me and I'm able to be caring of them too!! Being able to open myself up and be vulnerable seemed like a horrid idea a few years ago, but now it's almost second nature. The once learned behavior that all humans are bad and will hurt me, is a distant feeling if the past.
Freedom....the cycle has been broken. My mom can't hurt me anymore, I don't have to feel small and alone. I'm strong and capable, and I finally believe that!!!! I can face life 85% of the time. :). My scares have faded and they don't own me anymore. I own them!
I can talk about my past and feel alright, I've been asked to speak publicly about my journey and will for the first time in January.
But really, my life is AMAZING and I wouldn't change the pain of my journey for anything in this world. Even it I have PTSD and will always have to work harder than most to have a stable life. I'd rather live this way than my old ways.
Last edited:
illusionist
Diamond Member
I refuse to go down that line of thinking....anyone, absolutely anyone can go down that road and get them nowhere.
What has it cost me to be born into poverty?
What has it cost me when mum and dad divorced when I was young?
What has it cost me when I lost my limbs?
What has it cost me that failed uni?
We can all make changes....some more than others...that to me, is the part we need to focus on.
What has it cost me to be born into poverty?
What has it cost me when mum and dad divorced when I was young?
What has it cost me when I lost my limbs?
What has it cost me that failed uni?
We can all make changes....some more than others...that to me, is the part we need to focus on.
@Panda Bear
May I ask what type(s) of therapy you had??
Pls be very specific....eg. EMDR, CBT, Somatic, etc....
I ask b/c VERY few of us have the positive outcome you have had....most of us are still epically fvcked after many years of therapy....and I want to know why you are so different.
BTW, I am over the moon happy that you are so happy.:joyful: May you forever be.:hug:
May I ask what type(s) of therapy you had??
Pls be very specific....eg. EMDR, CBT, Somatic, etc....
I ask b/c VERY few of us have the positive outcome you have had....most of us are still epically fvcked after many years of therapy....and I want to know why you are so different.
BTW, I am over the moon happy that you are so happy.:joyful: May you forever be.:hug:
Panda Bear
Platinum Member
@void
A few main things have taken me this far.
1. My faith
2. The strong attachment to my therapist
3. A strong support system
I've had a lot of different types of therapy, mostly an eclectic mix of EMDR, Somatic, IFS, PE, CBT, Attachment work, etc.
But really, my feelings are that my T was just too stubborn to ever toss in the towel and give up on me. He constantly educateds himself and seeks out how to best navigate EVERYTHING IVE EVER THROWN HIS WAY! The man has not once given up on me.
Over the years he kept working even when I wasn't able too, he managed to form an incredible bond with a seemingly unemotional, incapable, and void shell of a person. I believe that bond he formed with me, truly grew to a love that we both share. The therapeutic relationship in my opinion is the foundation of our work. He built trust, forgiveness, compassion, empathy and effection into every aspect of work. And as the years would pass, we would intertwine a high level of spirituality. He would learn that I was a bit of a bible geek....and had an amazing faith and love for God. He meet me where I was at and challenged my love for God and used it to help me heal my wounds.
He helps me thrive, learn to love, be loved. He loved me when I was at my worst and most unbearable! He shares the same love for God and I believe that love allows him to be capable of helping me. At the end of the day when things are tough, we both have a shared place to lay our burdens. When the session ends we pray. Maybe it's silly, but all of this works for me.
That and he's a very gifted therapist who has constantly educated himself in the best interventions for PTSD and how to interweave them into exactly what I need.
Maybe my journey is abnormal? Maybe not?
But bottom line, faith, attachment and support have taken me this far. Yes, his skills and the interventions have been what I've needed. But I feel they would all be worthless and void if I hadn't been able to bond to him.
A few main things have taken me this far.
1. My faith
2. The strong attachment to my therapist
3. A strong support system
I've had a lot of different types of therapy, mostly an eclectic mix of EMDR, Somatic, IFS, PE, CBT, Attachment work, etc.
But really, my feelings are that my T was just too stubborn to ever toss in the towel and give up on me. He constantly educateds himself and seeks out how to best navigate EVERYTHING IVE EVER THROWN HIS WAY! The man has not once given up on me.
Over the years he kept working even when I wasn't able too, he managed to form an incredible bond with a seemingly unemotional, incapable, and void shell of a person. I believe that bond he formed with me, truly grew to a love that we both share. The therapeutic relationship in my opinion is the foundation of our work. He built trust, forgiveness, compassion, empathy and effection into every aspect of work. And as the years would pass, we would intertwine a high level of spirituality. He would learn that I was a bit of a bible geek....and had an amazing faith and love for God. He meet me where I was at and challenged my love for God and used it to help me heal my wounds.
He helps me thrive, learn to love, be loved. He loved me when I was at my worst and most unbearable! He shares the same love for God and I believe that love allows him to be capable of helping me. At the end of the day when things are tough, we both have a shared place to lay our burdens. When the session ends we pray. Maybe it's silly, but all of this works for me.
That and he's a very gifted therapist who has constantly educated himself in the best interventions for PTSD and how to interweave them into exactly what I need.
Maybe my journey is abnormal? Maybe not?
But bottom line, faith, attachment and support have taken me this far. Yes, his skills and the interventions have been what I've needed. But I feel they would all be worthless and void if I hadn't been able to bond to him.
Gs172003
Diamond Member
- Status
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