Rescue fantasy

[Hope4Now]

It doesnt help my feeling of loneliness because they have never come and the adult in me knows they wont. Just wanted to check i wasnt a complete freak on this front!

Definitely not a freak. I suspect that even folks without PTSD etc. have rescue fantasies. I definitely do--and sometimes diving into the fantasy is the only relief I get from my own reality. I've had this fantasy for as long as I can remember.

Someone to take you, hold you, touch you gently, look at you kindly, comfort you when you're sad, laugh with you when you're happy... that's just love. If that's what you want, it's not impossible. It can happen.

This is so true. Perhaps we conflate rescue fantasies with the need for love because neither happened to us. So feeling loved (true deep love) feels like rescue.

 

[Bristol]

Definitely not a freak. I suspect that even folks without PTSD etc. have rescue fantasies. I definitel...

Thanks Hope4Now so glad to keep hearing im not alone in this.

I think this took over me again earlier and i googled my real dad, just in case he is putting out some heartfelt call to find me, doubtful i know, joke is he is now a therapist, for some reason that has really annoyed me. But oh well sorry that was probably completely irrelevant.

 

[EmmaOwl]

Thanks Hope4Now so glad to keep hearing im not alone in this.
I think this took over me again earlier and i googled my real dad...sorry that was probably completely irrelevant.

I now hate Thanksgiving, despite the fact that I had some decent Thanksgivings when I was growing up. Now it sucks. I'll join in and say: You are most definitely not alone.

I have my brother I'm out of touch with, for the past several years. I've stopped speaking to him for now...not because of past abuse but because of the way he has treated me as we have all gotten older.

I'd love it if he would call and say "I wish I could talk to Allie." But he never does. My parents hear from him once in a while, mostly via Facebook, but I don't have an account.

So it's me and my parents and we are the most un-festive people on the planet. I'm sorry you experience this, it really sucks.

Just again, remember - you are NOT alone. This is what I try to tell myself. You have people here who care! And I think I understand a little what you are going through. It's a bit different, since it's my brother...but we used to be so close and I hate it that now we've got a rift. :(

I don't mean to turn it on me...but I empathize with you, very strongly. :sorry:

 

[sun seeker]

Thank you for this thread. It's comforting to know I'm not the only one with a rescue fantasy. I've spent a lot of time judging myself for it. Sigh. It used to be that my family would suddenly magically understand and care. I don't spend any time on that one anymore. But I haven't given up longing for my knight in shining armor who would have enough time and patience and protection and love to give, to save me from my pain. Somehow, knowing I'm not the only one who feels that way helps.

 

[EmmaOwl]

Perhaps we conflate rescue fantasies with the need for love because neither happened to us. So feeling loved (true deep love) feels like rescue.

This sounds very smart! I had a crush on my aforementioned literary-fantasy Dr. Delaware! My therapist knows this! lol

That's so embarrassing but today I'm feeling brave enough to post that to those who will read it here.

 

[Bristol]

I now hate Thanksgiving, despite the fact that I had some decent Thanksgivings when I was growing up....

Thanks Allie, i dont think your turning it on you its nice to know im not the only one going through this, though none of us should have to go through it really

 

[EmmaOwl]

Friday's being Pithy today

Show-off! :p

 

[Fadeaway]

I do, and no it isn't a needing to be loved issue. They are totally unrelated. The needing to be rescued has more to do with physical safety.

 

[EmmaOwl]

I do, and no it isn't a needing to be loved issue. They are totally unrelated. The needing to be rescued has more to do with physical safety.

Fadeaway, I respectfully disagree on this. Physical safety was never an issue for me, but I craved someone to listen to my whole story, and tell me it wasn't my fault, and all that.

My "rescuer" would know just what to ask and understand . And yes I wanted that person to swoop up and grab me away - rescued from the emotional turmoil I experienced in my childhood home, just sitting on the floor and having panic attacks while trying to meditate!

No threat to my physical safety, and there was no chance of a recurrence at all. I still wanted someone I could tell my whole story, over and over (too bad, at that age, I didn't know that's what you could do in therapy).

I think it depends on the person and the situation. Some want love, some want plain old acceptance - and yes, some want to be rescued for their physical safety. Some want to tell their stories! Some want all of that, and more.

The human mind is an interesting thing...When something is wrong, or missing, fantasies are ready to pop up, and point directly to what is missing in a kid's (or adult's) life.

 

[sun seeker]

I do, and no it isn't a needing to be loved issue.

Fadeaway, I respectfully disagree on this

I would suggest that there isn't actually a disagreement here; @Fadeaway was just saying how it is for her and not that it has to be that way for everyone.

My rescue fantasy doesn't have to do with physical safety either, but I certainly respect that everyone is different.

 

[EmmaOwl]

@Fadeaway was just saying how it is for her and not that it has to be that way for everyone.

Oh I see... Thanks, @sun seeker. I had read that differently. I thought @Fadeaway meant "A rescue fantasy *by definition* involves physical danger."

Of course everyone has their own version(s)!

 

[Fadeaway]

Oh I see... Thanks, @sun seeker. I had read that differently. I thought

Sorry for the confusion, I crave comfort as well, but in my mind that is different from being rescued. I hear what you are saying, I just label it different in my mind. I am using a different device than I am used to which hates me, so my response was short and to the point and not as clear as I thought.