General I Feel So Alone

[Beautifulmess]

My husband was diagnosed with PTSD almost 2 years ago as the result of flashbacks to childhood sexual abuse. Lately things have been really tough and I feel so exhausted and lonely.

Sometimes he is so far away even though he is physically present. Sometimes it is painful when he is emotionally present to remember what I am missing. I find myself feeling sad and angry and so scared for what the future holds for our family.

I'm depressed and tired of the heavy weight of holding our family together. I do my best to keep things as stable and emotionally healthy as possible for our girls (1 & 3), but can't help but worry about how this affects them.

My husband is in therapy and in the process of doing what it takes to heal. Most of the time I am extremely grateful for that and hopeful for what the future holds. But tonight I'm so tired and I feel like no one in my life understands.

Reading through this forum I know that a lot of you know what I am talking about. So thanks for reading this and sharing your own experiences. It really does help to know that I'm not alone.

 

[EveHarrington]

:hug:

 

[GrayOwl]

Being a supporter is an incredible thing to do. It takes a very special and a very strong person to be one.

Thank you for your message. You have made me realize how much more I could appreciate those around me, because I isolate incredibly and I'm sure it causes pain and hurt which I never have meant to inflict on those close to me.

I offer my prayers, my ears, and my support to you and your family. I hope there is a strong and lasting healing process. Awareness is a good first step and foundation to build from. Therapy and a willingness to heal and get beyond can make a huge difference and the capacity of a person with ptsd to understand and have compassion after all they have been through can actually be turned into an asset and a building block for a strong family.

I wish you strength and serenity when you need it. Thank you for your post!

 

[Intrepid]

My mother was a victim of childhood sexual abuse. It left her at times really cold, and at others really sad. She had many confusing feelings, and that confusion rubbed off on me.

I have often wondered where all the people who feel like you are. They mostly hid, I suppose. Having the forum has left me a lot less lonely.

 

[Hojay]

I hear you - same type of trauma on my sufferer's part and same sense of loneliness. Sometimes it feels like that abuser shouldn't get to blow up not only the sufferer's life, but everyone who loves them. No one person should have that much power. It's baffling. But you're not alone....

 

[Beautifulmess]

:hug:

Thank you!

 

[Beautifulmess]

Being a supporter is an incredible thing to do. It takes a very special and a very strong person to be...

Thank you so much for the kind words and thoughts . So much of the time I feel like I'm drowning. It helps so much to hear that it can and will get better!

 

[Beautifulmess]

My mother was a victim of childhood sexual abuse. It left her at times really cold, and at others rea...

I think you will probably find that sufferers and supporters are all worried about their kids, but sometimes are doing the absolute best that we can do. I'm so sorry that you were the victim of your mom's ptsd. I hope that you continue to find hope here!

 

[Dominik24]

Thanks for your post, you really put my own thoughts into words.

My girlfriend and me do not have children so that's a difference here, but I totally understand you feeling alone. She is also the victim of childhood abuse.

I don't know how many nights I lay next to her in our bed and just feel so damn alone, no affection, no cuddling, no hand holding, no nice words. I know it's not because of me and logically that makes absolute sense, but the damn emotions. That's something mere thoughts have a hard time to control.

But I know things will get better. Because her emotional numbness and being distant comes from her current health problems (back pain), which is pure stress for her.

I know you gonna get through this phase, I wish I could give you more advice, but the only thing that really helps me in some way is going to the gym to feel better myself and to always remember the great happy moments.

Take care! :)

 

[Beautifulmess]

But I know things will get better. Because her emotional numbness and being distant comes from her current health problems (back pain), which is pure stress for her.

I am in the same type of situation! This low low in the cycle has been brought on by feeling violated and victimized by court proceedings regarding his abuser. It does help to know things will go up again and that this time there is a reason for the low. But it is also still really hard and lonely.

It is so nice to know I'm not alone. Thanks!

 

[Gadgie]

Things could be worse, you could actually be alone, at least you have the company of your husband, even though he does drift away into a far away place at times?

Make the best of the good times, that's when he is with you in real time, and treasure them. Try and get out and about with him, create nice memories, take loads of photos, so that you can show them to him, when he expresses an interested in them, or can't remember anything about that day.

Remember, you are not alone in this, we are all here for you when you need support, good luck.

 

[bailey]

I have similar problems coping with my husbands PTSD , in fact at this moment he has gone off and left me to carry on alone I expect he will be back , he has already phoned me at 5 am saying he is in a hostel and someone has stolen his phone so can i ring it (he found it by someones bed ) !! there was no regret about phoning in middle of night or the fact i am alone , I do understand he cant have empathitic thoughts just now but it doesnt make it any easier , I phone emergency health service and they are intouch with him so I have backed off but it has taken over my life and i cant function and am off work .