Structural Dissociation

[Symphony]

Whoever wrote that post appears normal to me (on the forums). Apparently normal, at least.

Then what would be the definition of "functioning" for ANP purposes?

 

[shimmerz]

Not certain if this would be helpful to you at all Symphony. It seems to have been written by someone without English being their primary language, but they speak about the 4 Emotions we are all born with and how dis-integration of them supports a fragmented system.

ANP and EP | Complex Trauma

The author (as far as my understanding of SD is concerned), is actually not entirely correct as far as having two ANP's meaning one does not have two separate personalities .... because as I understand it DID occurs with 2 or more ANP's present. However, I am no expert.

I just found the article interesting because of her thoughts on how the EP's are formed.... and how they reside in the ANP's.

ETA: Hmmmm, this one might be better at explaining exactly what ANP functioning can be defined as....

The difference between OSDD+ BPD and DID | Complex Trauma

 

[corvidae]

oh, wow.

got a lot of reading and researching to do. thanks.

 

[BlueOrange]

@shimmerz , that first link doesn't seem right to me. My understanding (based on reading The Haunted Self) is that you don't have an ANP to start with, you have an NP to start with. Not an "Apparently Normal Part" but a "Normal Part".

An ANP looks normal, but something is missing. In PTSD, the 'something missing' is an Emotional Part. In DDNOS, it's multiple EPs. In DID, there's more than one ANP (more than one part that is able to appear normal), which makes the the concept of 'true self' trickier to manage intuitively.

In all cases, the 'true self' is not any one part, but a person who has all the parts.

 

[shimmerz]

that first link doesn't seem right to me

Yes, agreed @BlueOrange, and I appreciate your having pointed that out. There were a few inconsistencies there. I wasn't certain if I was not up to date on changes or if the author was incorrect in what they were putting across. Thanks for this.

 

[Symphony]

the 'true self' is not any one part, but a person who has all the parts.

This makes more sense to me. I frequently have had therapists refer to... (how do I explain?)... our "body's name" (legal name) as a separate personality and we frequently have to shut them down because that "person" simply does not exist. WE are the makeup of that entire supposed person. That person is merely an idea and a name. They do not exist as a separate alter or anything. We are that person.

 

[shimmerz]

WE are the makeup of that entire supposed person.

Yes, and for myself, not that long ago, I had to come to a point where I recognized my greatest fear (annihilation) and come to terms with it and then purposely eased my parts (as they arose) as to what their individual issues were with annihilation. And annihilation to me, was not death of the body but instead a shattering (rather than fragmentation) of the psyche.

I believe that is why the EPS were compartmentalized in the first place. Because expression of them threatened my life, but more importantly (for me) my psyche. And that involved allowing each of the 4 basic emotions that were mentioned in that first article, to be expressed freely .... without the filter of feeling that expressing them would lead to my internal fear of shattering.

No idea if that makes sense to anyone else but me.

 

[Symphony]

a shattering (rather than fragmentation) of the psyche.

I always thought of DID/MPD like this:

There's an apple tree that produces many apples. All of those apples are a part of the tree until they fall off. (ie: birth) Then those apples can be a whole or later in their life can be further sliced.

The slices don't make the apple any less of an apple because all of the slices together make up a whole apple and are a part of its make-up.

The apple wouldn't be an apple without its slices....



I could go on for ages :confused:

 

[TXbandit]

This sheds so much light on the guessing game of "Find the trigger" I have been playing for EVER. I'm just blown away. I've struggled with this for so long. I actually feel some relief that I am not completely bat shit and that this is actually a 'thing' and others experience it. Thank you all for sharing. It scares the ever living hell out of me when it happens. I can't ever remember anything until a few days even weeks after the episode. Even then it is a guessing game and things are fuzzy. Definitely bringing this up when I get back in therapy. Wow. I wish I had found this and the other threads sooner.

 

[BoN-bOn]

Yes, I absolutely struggle with this.

I managed to get two honours degrees at university and have work...

That is an exact description of how I feel!!

 

[ms spock]

I mapped this one out recently as best that I know, and sent it to my psychiatrist.

 

[katz]

I think you have both shown me how confusing this whole thing is. I understand the 'playing of roles'. Ju...

Lucycat, I wish soooo much that I could reach out to my mom. I would love to have her wrap me in her arms and give the "little me" what I want and need so much. However, I have come to the realization that she can't, even if she wanted to. I have to accept that fact. It upsets me a lot. It is very difficult to give this "little girl" the love and understanding that she needs so much.

Sometimes I think that I, the adult me, could comfort her. But, every time I try, the "little me" comes out....reaching for something she can't find. Like a child lost in the dark.