Set A Timer For Allowing Oneself To Feel Really Sad?

[Justmehere]

Have you ever been given the advice by a therapist (or anyone else) to set a timer and let yourself feel really sad for a time, in order to feel better?

Mine suggested it. Right now it feels like my sadness sneaks up on me and takes me down for a bit and I fight it the whole entire time. My therapist says that I need to let myself feel sad and it will come and go more quickly.

I feel a bit overwhelmed by it all. (She knows this, says to try anyhow and call her if I drown.)

I wonder how to tell the difference between depression that's a problem and grief that needs to be felt?

 

[ladee]

For me..I feel relief when crying from sadness and grief.
I only feelike going further down the fanbit hole when it's years from depression.
Hope that helps a little.
Gentle hugs.

 

[Eagle3]

I've discovered that it really is better to just allow the feelings to be. Feel them, let them run their course, and they dissipate on their own much faster than trying to block them out, even deep depression. My T likens feelings to little children demanding attention. If you just give them the attention they need, they are satisfied much faster, instead of getting increasingly more persistent the more you ignore them. My dogs do the same thing, and I found it really works. Makes me much more stable and able to handle things that come up, too. Good luck, I know it can feel overwhelming, but it does get easier with practice.

 

[Friday]

Have you ever been given the advice by a therapist (or anyone else) to set a timer and let yourself feel really sad for a time, in order to feel better?

<chuckling> Yep. I warned him it was a really f*cking bad idea. That when I start crying I don't stop for days. I'm pretty sure he thought I was exaggerating. I wasn't.

I don't do sad. I don't have a nice little cry. Neither EVER makes me feel better, but always in all ways makes me feel infinitely worse. If I even hit the edges of sad as f*ck, I have to lock that shit down hard, and as fast as possible. Which, even in and of itself can take hours or days, and it's me gutted the entire time period, completely nonfunctional. Bad juju.

 

[Ronin]

I did that with grief. Not a therapist advice, therapist buddy advice.

Ten to fifteen minutes a day. Works with grief.

Sadness? Not so much. Sadness comes and guts me and makes me suicidal for weeks on end until I flip it to something else or snap myself out of it. Sadness with me isn't grief and guts me. So no time for being sad for me. Grief on another hand, can be put lid to.

Crying is relieving only as much as it affirms I'm still, in fact, bloody human.
If it's about 'now let's cry about everything lost', I'm a pudding and not getting up.
Not that kind of crying. Tears of 'I'm still human', yes, tears of ' everyone lost', no.

 

[BlueOrange]

I'm tempted to give this idea a try. I've had some practice at feeling sad, and while it used to incapacitate me for ages, it typically ends in less than an hour.

But the longer I leave it without cleaning it out, the more tangled, difficult, and painful the buildup gets.

Sadness becomes depression when you don't clean it out by expressing the feeling somehow.

 

[Panda Bear]

Similar, yes.

When then the wave comes, he asked me to take a few minutes and let it run its course. Be sad in the moment and let it do its thing. Now, I have coping skills and can use them, so in theory I shouldn't get swallowed up.

Sometimes, it works and others? Not so much, the grief and sadness is too much and I end up crying for days or weeks at a time. The timed idea didn't always work for the bigger, deeper, stronger stuff.

When the sadness waved for weeks and swallowed me whole? We still let it run its course. Yes..I've sat with weeping sadness for weeks on end. And T sat with me while I just let the whole Pacific Ocean swallow my ass! In due time, the ocean receded and I was okay. He'd answer my text, after text, while I protested to the sadness, he'd reassure me that I'd be okay. Weeks in the office he's sit with me and tell me again.....you'll be okay!

 

[Deleted member 541]

I'm with @Friday on this one. If I start crying I don't stop and I spiral into depression which then leads to a suicide attempt. I will do anything needed to not cry....

 

[Zippy14]

Hi , I was crying and feeling sad because I was grieving yesterday
Which I understand is normal for the situation
I just let it out and eventually the tears washed away but the feeling of sadness eventually did too. It was a genuine feeling . I can't just say ok I have 20 minutes to cry then stop because if I don't need to cry why mKe myself cry ?
Now I have to be ok with my feelings Accept them Give them their voice and then to feel better I have to muster up some strength and courage to do things that will shift my sad mood. It's a process that needs validation
And I have learned their is no quick fix
Although learning to allow myself to feel and reduce the intensity of my feelings often exposure to those feelings may makes me feel more comfortable with them and accept them more readily as just my feelings
Depression is a diagnosis with more symptoms than sadness : here are some of my symptoms:

• Sadness throughout the day, nearly every day.
• Loss of interest in or enjoyment of one's favourite activities.
• Feelings of worthlessness.
• Excessive or inappropriate feelings or guilt
• Trouble making decisions.
• Trouble concentrating.
• Feelings of irritability

There are more symptoms
This is just what I share now
A doc has to diagnose and work on a plan to treat depression
Hope how I experience grief and depression helps makes sense of sadness
Take good care of yourself
Anne