DID When does a part become an alter?

[theshadowoftheliving]

How developed does a part need to become before it is considered to be an alter, ie a dissociated part of the personality, ie a full blown personality?

I've hesitated to use that word (alter) to describe my parts. But I'm also wondering if it applies, and if it would be a more accurate manner of describing my experiences than just "parts." That term feels a little undermining of how developed they are.

But how does one know if their parts are actually alters? At what point do they become dissociated enough to be their own entities? I seem to understand most of them in an abstracted sense, but I'm also at a loss for understanding how my mind works and how other minds work in comparison. Some of them have names and they do have their own ideas, preferences in colors and foods and other things, ways of communicating, etc. Some parts have also described others that I am completely unaware of (I found out by hearing one part talk about others during my therapy session, which I record because I often can't remember the session).

Is what I'm describing alters? Does it feel okay for me to use that term?

 

[One step at a time]

It's hard for me to talk about it, but I'm learning that I do have parts, although I do not have diagnosed DID. I guess I would call them "alters" if I was not co-conscious with them and if they were more like full people, rather than versions of myself.

I am also curious about this. I'll read along to learn, if that's okay.

 

[Teamwork]

Interesting question. No matter what you decide they are a part of you, hence the term. It has never occurred to me to think of mine in terms of parts or alters because mine have names so I typically know who is out or who is speaking by their name. This question got me thinking.

 

[watundah]

Ive been stuggling with this as well. One thing I read was alters hold memories while parts do not. My "parts" have been throwing memories at me that are horrible of which I have no recall.

My T threw the DID label at me. Parts only show up in writing, dont talk to me, never appeared until we started doing this work, I dont lose time...all very weird. I am a middle aged woman, so why now? They have never been visible or disruptive or evident.

Her recent explanation when I asked if she still thought I had DID, "There is seemingly a gap between these parts of yourself in the felt sense, and not a feeling on your part of connection to them."

Hope that helps, but clearly you aren't alone.

 

[One step at a time]

I am suddenly remembering something I read. I think maybe @Friday said it first? Apologies if I've screwed it up.
Everyone has parts. Some people are like a pizza that has been sliced, but the pieces haven't been separated. They are all touching, and connected. Other people, some of the pieces have been separated a little bit. With DID, it's like the slices of the pizza have been served on separate plates - you would never know they are parts that came from the same whole.

 

[Lovemyself]

Wow this is a hard one my t told me i had a personality disorder but the personality in me that day didnt agree with it but as i read this i am beginning to understand. I am a mess split in tiny peices all over. I know my mind puts up blocks because i was diagnosed with ptsd amnesia. So how do we put our personalities back together to complete a whole person. I know i have a personality that protects the abused victum in me. I block out horrific memories to protect myself.

 

[theshadowoftheliving]

It has never occurred to me to think of mine in terms of parts or alters because mine have names so I typically know who is out or who is speaking by their name. This question got me thinking.

Mine do too. At least some of them do, so that's usually how I refer to them - as if they are actually separate people.

My T threw the DID label at me. Parts only show up in writing, dont talk to me, never appeared until we started doing this work, I dont lose time...all very weird. I am a middle aged woman, so why now? They have never been visible or disruptive or evident.

Her recent explanation when I asked if she still thought I had DID, "There is seemingly a gap between these parts of yourself in the felt sense, and not a feeling on your part of connection to them."

I definitely don't feel connected to all my parts. In fact, I only know that some of them exist because others have told me about them .... not because I actually know anything about them.

With DID, it's like the slices of the pizza have been served on separate plates - you would never know they are parts that came from the same whole.

I like this; thank you. Will think more on how this relates to me ...

 

[theshadowoftheliving]

Circling back to this. I'm wondering if I'm actually just asking for permission to use the word alter. I've always worked to minimize whatever is happening to me, look normal, act normal. I can be in intense pain, physical or emotional, and she a doctor asks me how I am, I just say " okay."

I've never felt like I've deserved sympathy or support for illness. It just wasn't how I was raised, and I can't seem to ask for it even when parts of me know that something is terribly wrong (as an illustration, I had a head injury last summer that resulted in bystanders calling an ambulance for me, and when I showed up at the emergency room, wobbly on my feet and unable to recall the date, I insisted that I was fine).

So maybe I'm just asking for permission because I want to use the term but also feel that I don't deserve to use it because it can't possibly be real.

 

[joeylittle]

Circling back to this. I'm wondering if I'm actually just asking for permission to use the word alter.

To be honest, this sounds correct to me. You've been asking this question in many different ways over the last month, concerning DID, whether that's what you have, how you can tell, is it even real, etc.

Maybe you could try just accepting the idea of having DID wholeheartedly - just for a week, say. You can always change your mind back, if you want...that's the wonderful thing about thoughts. But meanwhile, you can see if simply accepting your symptoms as they are, and accepting the common terms for them - see if that eases some of your stress around it.

It very well might.

 

[theshadowoftheliving]

Thanks, @joeylittle. I agree. As hard as it is for me to admit, I think that the DID label fits me pretty well, and I do want to just go ahead and assume it as my descriptor.

I get caught because I don't officially have a diagnosis of DID and I'm terrified of wrongly assuming that it fits when it doesn't (although I have already, in many ways, decided that it does).

I'm going to take your advice and try to just accept it as a label, at least until my therapist returns from her winter break and I can ask the million dollar question of whether or not it does, indeed, describe me.

 

[whiteraven]

Thanks, @joeylittle. I agree. As hard as it is for me to admit, I think that the DID label fits me pretty well, and I do want to just go ahead and assume it as my descriptor...

I can see where this might be confusing if you had not yet received a diagnosis yet. We seem to be so very hung up in this society/culture of receiving and "having" this thing called a diagnosis, instead of just working with whatever we are experiencing. As if having a label or a name will change our experience in some way. I think it complicates matters.

I do understand this, because I have done the very same thing. Asked myself if I can use "this" term or "that" term, because I don't "officially" have the diagnosis that it belongs to. I wish we all felt more comfortable and relaxed to just be with whatever we felt and experienced. I think it would make things a lot easier, don't you?

Personally, I don't use the term alter at all and I was diagnosed some 18 years ago. LOL My "parts" are insiders. Even the very fragmented ones that I never hear from and don't really know very much about. I'm kind of a rebel that way. My diagnosing therapist *insisted* I call them "parts" and that if they had a name, I use their name followed by -part. So, I was supposed to say, for example, "my Anna-part" instead of just Anna. Well, I hated that, so I refused.

I think you should use whatever term you are comfortable with.