Publicly confronted about service dog. a disability isn't fake just because it's invisible. (vent)

[desiderata310]

I do 'leave it' and "look at me"

I've only ONCE has a woman keep going at that point and she was gushing about how well he gave me eye contact. That's when I stopped and looked at her like she had bugs coming out her ears and walked away. Damn bitch, you STUPID! I was correcting him because of YOU.:bored:

 

[Kefira]

"Leave it"...."Leave it"... while walking by people and don't even acknowledge

I try to be a bit careful so the command doesn't wear out, although I remember the early training days where every two seconds he needed a reminder (seriously, like, collapsed on the floor "Leave it, that too, JUST LEAVE ALL THE THINGS DAMN YOU" isn't much of an exaggeration). But if we are stuck in an elevator with someone you know I'm going to just set that up at the first sign of them being annoying. lol.

I have totally messed up and responded to stupid behavior from my roommate and other friends with dog commands (roommate picking up something I need to be able to find "Leave it- uhn uh!"). So glad they live with my quirks. I just know one of these days though someone is going to reach for my SD and I'm going to reflexively snap "Leave it!" in their face. It hasn't happened yet, but I'm sure it's only a matter of time.

 

[desiderata310]

On my good days, people are lucky if all I say is "leave it" when they reach for my dog.
I keep telling you guys, I am a really terrible person.

 

[Deleted member 37085]

On my good days, people are lucky if all I say is "leave it" when they reach for my dog.
I keep t...

Caring enough to say "leave it" there's compassion there as well. You could so readily not say "leave it" @desiderate310 and I get this only on a very basic level. Disrespectful people may need a little bit more than a "leave it" from your courageous and gallant Service Dog - to only try and balance out and establish important and much needed and required boundaries with at times uninformed and apathetic public for your relationship with your beloved Service Dog @desiderata310 to continue to be professional while working out in public domain. Sending hugs and huge licks (kisses) for you and your loyal Service Dog. JadesJewel

 

[lostforgottensoul]

I try to be a bit careful so the command doesn't wear out

Oh i do too. That's why i added that was two different people. We were walking by a long line of people and each time he showed intrest or anyone showed instrest and him and he then focused on that person is when I repeated it.

Yeah, it's like "sit, sit, sit, sit" back to back, over and over; well now sit means nothing.

 

[Kefira]

Oh i do too. That's why i added that was two different people.

Oh, I get it. He's way better with people, but birds are and will always be his kryptonite. There's this one part of campus with TONS of pigeons and he leaves one just to look at another. *shakes head* We end up having to sit and look and focus and inch through there by a foot or two at a time on bad days. I just schedule extra time and load the pockets up full of treats.

 

[BuckarooBanzai]

That's all fine and well in theory, but in practice unless you have some way to avoid it it's not that simple. For example, we had someone at a crosswalk ask the same question three times while getting more agitated. I answered three times before beginning to ignore him. He spent the full time at the crosswalk yelling at me incoherently. Things like ripping out spines and putting them in freezers.

My point is, this sort of thing happens at times when one enters the public sphere. Happens to me all the time. This fellow would have probably started up with you even if you hadn't had a service dog with you.

Would I approch anyone else and start asking very personal questions about their health (and other things)?

People who do these things are rude. Just ignore them. Please do not let such individuals ruin your day.

Come on, when someone asks you something and you're going to be standing in close proximity for 5-10 minutes you can't just stand there and ignore them and for me?

Yes, I can.

 

[BuckarooBanzai]

@joeylittle - Thanks for the explanation.

 

[Justmehere]

As an aside, does your dog have booties? I've seen some impressive ones.

I have tried a few, but they keep falling off her feet or then she pulls them off... So for now, I use wax that seems to work ok most of the time.

We are not required to take the statements of unreasonable strangers seriously. There are a lot of unreasonable people out there, and we've got to learn to ignore them. Somehow, we've got to put up our shields and not allow them to trigger us.

This is a very good point.

By the way....

I am really curious as to why some people don't want their service animals petted. I'm one of those who often asks to pet the dog.

In the middle of people explaining why it can deter a dog away from doing their work, I want to thank you for asking and not just assuming it's ok to pet. It's also great that you asked questions here too. I rather have people ask any questions they have, and let me set the boundary about answering or not, than for people to not ask any questions and just make crap assumptions or just barge in and pet my dog. It's tiring to have to say "please stop" all day long... And for some service dogs, there can be a time the dog is off duty and can be pet. It varies, but it's usually when the dog doesn't have the jacket on.

I was just at Target today, and as I was totally focused on picking out a coffee mug, my dog tugged on the leash. I looked over and 40 something old woman was totally all over my dog, petting her like crazy. She was crouched down and in her face. As soon as I look over at her, she says, "You are not supposed to pet service dogs."

I had said nothing. She just said that herself in a very stern tone, like she was scolding me.... while she was petting my dog.

I was so confused. So I replied, "That's right, YOU are not supposed to pet my service dog."

She stopped and GLARED at me.

I had to stifle my giggle because I was thinking of this thread and how this was a new response I had not encountered before and because it kind of made me nervous? Why is there extra service dog weirdness in my city lately?! And why was she actively petting my told while telling me she is not supposed to pet my dog? I mean it would have made sense if she said it like "I know I am not supposed to do this but I am because your dog is SO CUTE" - that's totally happened before...

This is why I like dogs. Humans don't make as much sense to me sometimes.

Thanks everyone for helping me go from angry venting to being able to laugh about some of the weird situations service dog teams can run into. :)

 

[BuckarooBanzai]

thank you for asking

Oh, thank you so much for saying that! I always ask - never assume - and I don't ask at all if the dog is wearing a message, like "Please do not pet me; I'm working."

By the way, I am very appreciative of handlers who supply such messages. Another favorite is, "Please ask to pet me."

she says, "You are not supposed to pet service dogs."

I had said nothing. She just said that herself in a very stern tone, like she was scolding me.... while she was petting my dog.

She might have been psychotic or had DID. Meaning, she was talking to herself. Her boundaries were poor and so she pet your dog without permission, and yet a part of her knew this was wrong. So, she was reprimanding herself.

 

[lostforgottensoul]

People who do these things are rude. Just ignore them. Please do not let such individuals ruin your day.

Let me ask you a question. If I came up and triggered you. Made your symptoms spike to their highest. Could you just ignore it?

That sounds to me like just get over it. Sorry but that's how that sounds to me. Is it too much to ask to ask people to just ignore my service dog in training?

I educate but people coming up trying to pet my service dog while he is working (and while I am training) asking me personal questions about why i need a service dog (asking personal medical questions) and just invading in my space is horribly rude but I can't just ignore it as it spiked my symptoms so now i have to deal with that.

ETA: I realize that sounded rude (as my anxiety is spiking). I am not trying to be rude but just explaining it from my perspective.

 

[BuckarooBanzai]

When I am triggered, it's because someone is literally abusing a child right in front of me. I firmly tell the perpetrator to stop and then call the police. This is an appropriate reaction. Once the police arrive, or whatever, I leave and take care of myself.

I am not telling you to 'just get over it.' What I am saying is, there are a lot of very rude people in this world and, if those of us with PTSD are going to get better, we've all got to learn to keep these people from pulling our strings.

Regarding, " Is it too much to ask people to ignore my SD?" No, not at all. Problem is, most of us don't know we are supposed to ignore the dog. So, you're getting mad at people who don't know any better. How about putting up one of those wonderful signs I mentioned above, like, "Please do not pet; my service dog is working right now"?