Publicly confronted about service dog. a disability isn't fake just because it's invisible. (vent)

[lostforgottensoul]

Problem is, most of us don't know we are supposed to ignore the dog. So, you're getting mad at people who don't know any better. How about putting up one of those wonderful signs I mentioned above, like, "Please do not pet; my service dog is working right now"?

Hand sewed on. But it is ignored, most of the time.

Big beautiful patch. How much clearer do I have to make that.

I am going to buy a leash wrap patch later that says the same thing but why do I have to? Service dogs don't have to be vested by law. They can be off leash if the leash interfers with their job.

Ignore service dogs period. Unless there is a vest that states "pet me" then don't even ask as that spikes my anxiety all by itself.

 

[BuckarooBanzai]

Hand sewed on. But it is ignored, most of the time.

Pretty hard to ignore that sign!

So, I guess we are back to the 'rude, boundary-less people' we need to ignore.

Is there a simple succinct way of getting people to back off without getting all worked up? Am thinking about the negative repercussions (heartrate, blood presure, etc.) of dysregulation.

 

[Kefira]

Problem is, most of us don't know we are supposed to ignore the dog. So, you're getting mad at people who don't know any better. How about putting up one of those wonderful signs I mentioned above, like, "Please do not pet; my service dog is working right now"?

For one, most people ignore patches or signs.

Two: if you have an organization dog, the chances are you don't own the dog and don't have any ability to make those decisions outside of a very specific dress code for the dogs gear.

Three: it places the responsibility on the wrong party. Service dogs are not a new phenomenon. Ignorance doesn't excuse poor behavior.

I don't think any of us are expecting things to change overnight, but what I do see handlers advocating for is more education and more responsibility from the public for their actions. Lack of information isn't an excuse, and putting more responsibility to prevent access and etiquette issues on handlers rather than on gatekeepers and the general public isn't the answer. Most of us already engage in education and activism if we're physically able to. Personally I don't have a problem with that, I just want a social situation that lets me get a gallon of milk once in a while without being forced into that roll.

 

[desiderata310]

Personally I don't have a problem with that, I just wanta social situations that let me get a gallon of milk once in a while without being forced into that roll.

AMEN

 

[lostforgottensoul]

Is there a simple succinct way of getting people to back off without getting all worked up?

Nope, not for me.

It depends on the person and what they are doing and asking but when my anxiety spikes i shake so bad that i can't walk.

Personally I don't have a problem with that, I just wanta social situations that let me get a gallon of milk once in a while without being forced into that roll.

Yes! Thank you! Can I just try to pretend to be a normal human for once?

 

[Justmehere]

Oh, thank you so much for saying that! I always ask - never assume - and I don't ask at all if the dog is wearing a message, like "Please do not pet me; I'm working."

By the way, I am very appreciative of handlers who supply such messages. Another favorite is, "Please ask to pet me."

I love to read that someone reads these messages and is even protective of the "don't pet" service dogs too. :) Makes my heart sing. :) it's really good to know that many people do read the signs. Those must be all the people who never give me a hard time, and there are many. So important to remember that.

Pretty hard to ignore that sign!

:) Oh you would be amazed how easy it is for people to ignore it... At least I am constantly amazed by it. I wish I could ignore those people just as easily as they ignore the patch! I'm working on learning how to shrug off the rude jerks instead of being triggered by them. I think we all are. :)

She might have been psychotic or had DID. Meaning, she was talking to herself. Her boundaries were poor and so she pet your dog without permission, and yet a part of her knew this was wrong. So, she was reprimanding herself.

Oh, good point. I wondered myself if maybe my own stuff made her seem like she was being stern with me when maybe she wasn't... My dog is super drawn towards people who are struggling and is trained to respond to dissociation. She was responding to her with great interest. She also just likes people a little too much.

Is there a simple succinct way of getting people to back off without getting all worked up? Am thinking about the negative repercussions (heartrate, blood presure, etc.) of dysregulation.

Learning that "no" is enough sometimes is a therapeutic goal in and of itself... Training dogs was like exposure therapy in saying no and setting boundaries. It's exhausting sometimes though. It's a both/and situation. Basically, PTSD service dogs and their owners need more people like you, @BuckarooBanzai, in the world, but at the same time, if there was more people like you, a lot of us probably wouldn't have PTSD in the first place.

It's a hard thing to navigate especially when someone is an owner-trainer of their own PTSD dog. For me, training dogs for others and having one myself has helped my PTSD so much, because having a dog with me has helped me not fear the general public so much. That good part of having an SD is taken down a notch when the public is a--holish about boundaries in a way where most people don't have to set boundaries just to buy milk... It's like exposure therapy in another direction...

 

[lostforgottensoul]

Training dogs was like exposure therapy in saying no and setting boundaries. It's exhausting sometimes though.

Yes! On all accounts.

 

[lostforgottensoul]

I watch them in my periphery, and am so frankly awed by just how awesome they are.

If more people could do this, admire out of peripherial vison, we all would be much more comfortable across the board in my opinion.

Or just talk to me about me.

say, DAMN, that's a cool sweater. Can you believe how cold it is? Do you really like that brand of pizza? I've never tried it. ANYTHING ANYTHING ANYTHING to make me feel like a normal person.

Like this.

ETA: I'm sorry I am so opinionated about this. I know I will get more comfortable as I go but I just don't get what is so hard with just ignoring service dogs. He is just an extention of me.

 

[EmmaOwl]

I think it's very interesting, how in-depth this original message has become. Of course there are a lot of specifics to this situation, but so much of what has been said applies to ANYONE with PTSD or other disabilities, how to navigate the world in a safe way. Here are a few examples:

I'm working on learning how to shrug off the rude jerks instead of being triggered by them. I think we all are.

there are a lot of very rude people in this world and, if those of us with PTSD are going to get better, we've all got to learn to keep these people from pulling our strings.

I don't think any of us are expecting things to change overnight, but what I do see handlers advocating for is more education and more responsibility from the public for their actions. Lack of information isn't an excuse

Thanks everyone for helping me go from angry venting to being able to laugh about some of the weird situations

And finally:

Can I just try to pretend to be a normal human for once?

Thanks to @Justmehere as the OP, and everyone for taking this very specific post and coming to some good, helpful conclusions for anyone having difficulties interacting with others in public.

 

[Deleted member 12723]

Whenever I see a person with a service dog I just stay away from them and allow their dog to work.

This has been a enlightning thread because I did not know there was problems for people with service dogs. If I do comment, I will say cute dog and go my way in peace.

I have a lot more respect for people with service dogs after reading all of the responses on this thread. I am sorry that about the complete idiots out there that are so ignorant and mean spirited.

 

[BuckarooBanzai]

It depends on the person and what they are doing and asking but when my Anxiety spikes i shake so bad that i can't walk.

I relate! When triggered, I shake terribly. I've even had the perpetrator himself stop, do a double-take, and say in amazement, "You're shaking!"

Oh you would be amazed how easy it is for people to ignore it..

These are boundary-less people, the bane of all survivors.

Learning that "no" is enough sometimes is a therapeutic goal in and of itself..

Yes! Excellent point.

It seems to me that this topic is so very upsetting because we survivors are especially sensitive (for good reason) about our boundaries, and the rude people we've been discussing are boundary-less.

 

[lostforgottensoul]

I relate! When triggered, I shake terribly. I've even had the perpetrator himself stop, do a double-take, and say in amazement, "You're shaking!"

Ok. Now try to relate to shaking, can't walk, your service dog is alerting you (and I ALWAYS thank my SD in training for alerting me as it always has to be a good thing) so stop to do that, have to some how get him and I through the store to at least the door.

I am training my SD in training to find the nearest exit for this reason. This and disocossation.

And remember, I have me, my purse, the leash, my service dog that I must keep in command, my stuff i am trying to buy, fumbling with my wallet. And other things.

All because someone wanted to confront me that I don't need a service dog or even reaching for him, which makes me freak due to reaching also for me, and then he is now focused on them and I have to spend 30 mins getting him back focused on me. So i went to go get milk and toliet paper and spend an hour in there due to someone's ignorance.

ETA: And for something like a sezuire alert dog, they can miss a sezuire alert due to this which can be life threatening.

Any way you turn it, it isn't good.

ETA: I want to add even if someone asks and doesn't reach for him, that is very anxiety driven as I am terrifed of people. So even that can cause all of the above and more.

I don't mind a quick 1 or 2 liner education but NO ONE is happy with that it seems and they seem to carry it on and on and on when all I want to do is shop like a normal person. Go to the mall like a normal person. Ride a bus or the train like a normal person. Go to a park like a normal person. Etc.