Is This Common Practice?

[Eagle3]

I had an appointment with a state-paid Psy. D today. My second session with her. The first one was ok, although I think I inadvertently triggered her asthma (dog hair all over me). I'm not a fan of women therapists, but the state is paying for a fixed number of sessions with her, so I'll try. Its not like I'm going to be going into deep trauma therapy with her, I was looking more for career counseling. Whatever.

So early last week I called her to reschedule my appointment since I thought it would be impossible for me to get back on this side of town in time for the session. I'm pretty certain my message said, "I need to cancel our Tuesday appointment, please contact me at your earliest convenience to RESCHEDULE our session. Thanks!"
Never heard back from her, assumed she never got the message. Found a way to get back on this side of town in time for our session anyhow.

I show up in her office, and she looks really puzzled. Told me I didn't have an appointment with her. I said, yep, 17th, 4p. She takes me back to her office to look at the appointment book. Turns out that "in MY world, reschedule and cancel are exactly the same" so she had given my slot to someone else. Which I don't mind, I just would have liked to have been informed...I busted my butt getting back in time for our session! I explained that I had said I wanted to RESCHEDULE our session in my message, but she got defensive, said we're not going to agree on that point, and scheduled a new appointment for next week.

Am I missing something here? I can understand scheduling screw-ups, but why blame me for the miscommunication when she doesn't know the difference between rescheduling and cancelling? Am I wrong here? I was very specific when I asked for rescheduling in my message, but she never called me back.....

I'm just glad she's not my regular! I'd drop this Doc like a bad habit if I had to pay for her! Its a sure bet I won't be trusting her with anything of any real importance.

 

[Casey_03]

To be honest, in my experience it's always been up to the person asking to reschedule to suggest a different date, otherwise it's just deadlocked. I agree with you that there is a big difference between "reschedule" and "cancel," but I am guessing that in her profession she probably gets a lot of people flaking out and using the excuse that they want to "reschedule" when they really just don't intend to come in. So she may have assumed you were just blowing off the sessions and expected you to suggest a different date to reschedule.

 

[Sweet_E]

She may have figured that you couldn't make it to the original appointment and maybe gave it to someone else that needed the slot. Regardless, she dropped the ball by not following up with you in my opinion. And then it didn't sound like she addressed it diplomatically.

 

[Eagle3]

Thanks for the responses!

@Casey_03 So why didn't she say so? I'm just supposed to know to do this? She knows I'm on the Autism spectrum and need to be guided in social and professional interactions. With my T, I ask him what's available with a specific time requirement and he tells me and I pick, but that still requires a callback...some form of communication. I knew it was going to be on a Tuesday, but we still needed to get together on a time...but no callback...that's what confuses me. Communication routines require two...I initiated my side, but got no response and I'm confused why I'm blamed for it when I did my job...

Just trying to understand this for next time, and seriously wondering if it was me or her, or both, or neither.

 

[Sweet_E]

You could say, "it might be a challenge for me to make the appointment. Can you please call me to discuss a possible reschedule? If I do not hear from you, I will assume that the appointment is still on. However, I might be late if that's the case."

 

[Rumors]

If you had called me and left that message I would assume you were not coming. As well, I think bc the nature of the cancellation was not an emergency, it would make sense she call you at her convenience. After all, you needed to reschedule not her. That is etiquette.
Just my opinion...

 

[Spaced Out]

I had an appointment with a state-paid Psy. D today. My second session with her. The first one was ok, alt...

ok im not sure what is going on with my computer so I hope you can see my message--I would not like it at all if she put the whole miscommunication on you and she took no responsibility. In my business, I make appointments and communication gets messed up--rarely, but it happens. I would never put all that on the client, and clients don't put it all on me either. Screw ups with communication happen and we hear things wrong, we listen too quickly, we make assumptions on what we heard, what the other meant--which is what this therapist did. Why would she get defensive? sounds like she has some issues.... So sorry you had to deal with that! Kind of a lot of wasted time and stress.

 

[Eagle3]

It was over a week and a half, and no callback. I should have called her again, but was super-busy with school and highly stressed. Ugh...this is so hard! I never had this problem with anyone else before...but then, I never have to cancel either. Thanks for the feedback everyone...looks like I need to brush up on my business communication routines again.

 

[joeylittle]

"I need to cancel our Tuesday appointment, please contact me at your earliest convenience to RESCHEDULE our session. Thanks!"

I would have cancelled you, and if I was waiting on other info (other clients, whatever) to settle before I rescheduled you, then I wouldn't have called you back yet.

If you were concerned about getting confirmation - next time, add a request that the person call and confirm they got the message.

was over a week and a half, and no callback. I should have called her again, but was super-busy with school and highly stressed.

Its normal - and that's usually the problem with saying "call at your earliest convenience" - it's likely to result in the callback getting pushed off.

None of this is you being a crappy person or communicator - it's just about adjusting your expectations, and being a little more direct about getting your needs met. Something like "I'm available the following week these times: -- hopefully one will work. Please give me a call back to confirm and rebook - thanks!"

That can all be respectful and pleasant and still keep the ball rolling.