Hi
@Berlinda :). I meditate too, on and off for about 4 or 5 years now. Meditation is wonderful, and eastern philosophy is wonderful too. It's very intelligent psychology of the mind, and practice of wellbeing. I was reading this excellent book the other day and it was saying how standard Western psychology can only take us from -5-0, whereas positive psychologies of the mind, such as Buddhism and Buddhist practices, which all are all about negating negative mental states, and growing positive ones, can take us far beyond that. Beyond hippy bullshit, the key practices, or two wings of Buddhism, are compassion and insight. Insight is developed through the standard breathing meditation, and compassion is developed through metta meditation or compassion meditations. These two practices can have an incredible impact on your wellbeing - as shown in the brain scans that have been undertaken by meditators. The buddhist monk who wrote the book I'm reading, was described by the researchers who undertook the brain scans as 'the happiest man in the world', and all kinds of good stuff happen inside the brain as a result of longterm meditation. While mindfulness has been separated from it's origins, I think it is important to try to see it in it's original content, as it's a powerful practice and people should know what it was originally designed for, the results it can produce, and the risks or issues that may come with it (something that the west doesn't really tackle much, completely lifting it from it's original context).
If you haven't tried compassion meditation, or metta, I'd really recommend it :). It's just starting to get a fair bit more attention within psychology and neuroscience, here is a study on it for PTSD -
Loving-kindness meditation for posttraumatic stress disorder: a pilot study. - PubMed - NCBI:
"A large effect size was found for PTSD symptoms at 3-month follow-up (d = -0.89), and a medium effect size was found for depression at 3-month follow-up (d = -0.49). There was evidence of mediation of reductions in PTSD symptoms and depression by enhanced self-compassion. Overall, loving-kindness meditation appeared safe and acceptable and was associated with reduced symptoms of PTSD and depression."
Compassion meditation is great. Often compassion is described as an anti-dote to rage, hatred and fear - which are all things I've dealt with in my PTSD. And I've found it really helpful for capping the depression that comes with those emotions, and making me a lot happier and more balanced. Compassion meditation, can help you foster positive emotions towards the things you begin to see more clearly about yourself and others in your mindfulness, or insight meditation.
Meditation is great, but also be careful. Insight meditation goes beyond helping you to feel calmer, the point is to 'see reality as it is', and sometimes it can be dangerous for trauma survivors. Stuff comes up with meditation, and you will be confronted with things you have stuffed down and suppressed, so make sure you know how to ground yourself, can recognise when you've gone to far, and make sure you have a great therapist who can work with you on things that come up. It is good to couple it with some bodywork, or to start with bodywork first. This is a way to explore the self, without going directly into it (if that makes sense). This is what, trauma specialist, van der Kolk mentions in an interview:
Link Removed
"IYM: Is meditation okay for those with PTSD?
BvdK: The Dalai Lama and Yoga masters like Swami Satchidananda have made meditation almost mainstream. The neurobiology of meditation—that the brain can grow new cells and reshape itself—is becoming better known and finding its way into mental health services. If we meditate regularly, this can modulate the fear center and help us be more focused. However, if you are traumatized, being in silence is often terrifying. Memory of trauma is stored, so when you are stilled, demons come out. Those with PTSD should first learn to regulate their physiology with breath, postures and relaxation and work toward meditation.
I've found yoga to be more helpful with helping me to deal with traumatic material in an indirect way. Yoga gives me a door into trauma that breathing meditation doesn't, like van der Kolk says the 'body keeps the score', your body remembers what happens and somehow a lot of trauma lives in the body. So if you work with the body, you're going to meet your trauma sooner than if you work with meditation alone. This is a good thing, because in yoga you can do some, and then stop and process what comes up. For example, a couple of nights ago, I was in a certain pose, and then suddenly waves of sadness came over me as a result of the pose. I stopped my yoga practice, and just started to cry. I was crying because I realised that all this time I had seen my abuse as my fault, and that suddenly I could see clearly that it wasn't my fault. I felt like the shame I had around people was connected to feel like it was my fault and everyone could see that, see that I was shameful. I cried because I realised that wasn't true, and I could see for the first time the good/kind aspects of myself and why that was a big part of why people loved me (I could see beyond the shame based view on myself that trauma had burnt into me), so through the yoga pose I had released that part of the trauma and how it had affected me. This is the combination of the insight, with working with the body and releases some of the trauma stored within the body - if that makes sense!
Many trauma researchers argue that trauma is stored in the body, and yoga can be great for helping you to touch and release things that you didn't even know were there. There is a nice quote, "yoga is the journey to the self, through the self." I see that as meaning we come to know the self, through the body and the stories written within it.
Secondly, another thing to watch out for with meditation - is 'bliss bypassing'. Because meditation feels so good, people can kind of use it as a way to escape their pain, or as a way to avoid dealing with it inadvertently. This indirectly reinforces the trauma, and grows the demons - which will come out later, once you are further into your practice - which can overwhelm you if you're not prepared. It can be really easy to get into doing this, and I think I've done this myself before - when I was younger.
And lastly, avoid meditation retreats if you do get really into it. There have been cases where psychological issues have been triggered or made worse by going to meditation retreats.
Anyway, I've written an essay lol :)!! Good luck with your practice :) :p!
