Brave Why

[missfrier]

why do people tell me I'm brave and courageous strong because I started to open up and try deal with my abuse that happened I'm not any of those things soliders who fight for country aree brave fire fighters are brave running in to house on fire people who fight off muggers burglars in street are brave I'm not any of them I am not brave I don't do any of those or more all I am doing is tryin g to deal with abuse and bullying thsts not no brave

 

[digger]

thsts not no brave

How do you view other people who are trying to deal with the abuse they suffered? Would you allow them the label of 'brave'?

 

[missfrier]

they are brave but I don't think I am I hiiden it all still do

 

[digger]

Then the question needs more to be, not why people regard you as being brave for dealing with it, but why you can't regard yourself as brave for dealing with. It is not the concept of dealing with abuse being a brave thing to do.

It is not uncommon to have one set of rules and expectations for ourselves and another set for others dealing with the same thing. One of the questions I have to ask myself often when dealing with this kind of thing is 'And what makes you so effing special, digger, that you must be the exception to the rule?!'

You are not the first, and will not be the last, person to hide abuse. Try to cut yourself the same slack you would cut someone else dealing with things the same way.

Maybe try to think about why you might describe someone else as brave in this situation, and even if you can't see it of yourself, work on accepting that others may see you in the way that you see others?

 

[missfrier]

every one tells me all this nice things such as I m beautiful brave strong caring but I don't feel I am think I am ugly not brave or strong

sorry

 

[ladee]

What word or words would you describe your healing journey? If brave doesn't fit..what would you like to hear instead?

 

[missfrier]

i dnot sure I just wish I could forget it but I guess that's not going happen

 

[BoN-bOn]

Soldiers were trained for battle. They were conditioned to be brave in the face of danger & enemies. I had no training. The ones who hurt me were not enemies, they were the very people who should have loved and protected me. I had to fight battles That I knew I couldn't win, & didn't even have weapons or tools to help me. I still survived...THAT is brave. You are brave, my friend. Facing the abuse and dealing with it is equally brave...it is HARD & it takes a lot of courage to dig deep within yourself and find the YOU that you are meant to be. Hang in there.

 

[missfrier]

thank you I hae all questions going in my head I hate it I just want to 4 got it all but I cant and I kow I wont and it supposed to be come easier

 

[ladee]

What makes it even harder is not working with what we have.
None of asked for this. None of us.
If it was easy none of us would be here.
But the sooner we stop wishing it away..and taking that energy to heal, the better off we are. If I am in the "wishing" state.. Then I'm not hearing what anyone is saying to help me get past where I am.
Ya...it's hard work..but we have so many awesome people here sharing what's working.
I always call this "picking your pain"
Being stuck and in pain because I don't want to do What it takes..
Or the pain of recovery. One of them never stops..the other we make progress.
We are here for you...when your ready.

 

[missfrier]

Thank,you.

 

[Will86]

Even tho life knock you down and you went through hell, you still find the courage to stand back up and continue to fight.
That takes a lot of courage.

This is the reason why you are brave and this is why I think you are brave despite what you say.