Feeling Hopeless And Different From Everyone

[Wish for escape]

I am starting to feel quite hopeless.

I feel completely alone and that no one is ever going to understand me.

I have no friends and cannot even connect to my therapist or talk to her like a normal person even after a year and a half.

I used to have a semi normal life and now instead I dissociate most days and can barely function. I am really starting to worry about the future. Maybe I am really hopeless.

You know that feeling of seeing the world pass by while you are stuck? I hate going to work as people who were my friends bullied me and I feel like I have no one to express my true feelings to.

I am just tired and ashamed. Maybe recovery and healing isn't for everyone.

 

[LiketheMouse]

You're not alone. I don't have the answers, but I'm in the same phase right now. I can't focus or function in the way that I'm used to doing. I don't have advice for you, just wanted to let you know that others experience the same thing.

 

[Wish for escape]

You're not alone. I don't have the answers, but I'm in the same phase right now. I can't focus or...

Thank you. Every little bit helps...

Got up and painted for an hour, but now I am back to tossing and turning and feeling scared.

Wishing you the best as well. Hope things get better.

 

[cptsdsurvivor]

I want you to know that I am going through this too. I don't have answers either of course Amongst other things I was also bullied, hounded out in fact, at work in a shameful and unjustified way that was deplorable by those concerned.

Feeling stuck is the norm with cPTSD; it sucks 100% doesnlt it? but i really do believe that it is a prelude to healing

 

[Wendy]

I feel that way all the time. Wouldn't it be great if all of us who feel alone and impossible to understand could meet up and support each other? *sigh* There are too many of us stuck feeling this way. :(

 

[Tornadic Thoughts]

My personal history includes, but isn't limited to, sexual abuse at the age of 13, then again at the age of 17, to be followed by a string of poor choices in partners that created multiple near-fatal domestic violence arenas throughout my 20s, then losing most of my closest family members within a short span of time in the midst of all of that, then I chose to speak out at work in my late 30s about unethical happenings and was bullied like a mofo during that process, and while seeking professional help through it all, had multiple "professionals" totally disregard all of the above and never once suggested that ptsd could be why I was struggling so fiercely.

Each time I accomplish something, be it a planned goal or just by happenstance, I think (and sometimes hope) that's going to be the moment I finally reach a space of no longer feeling stuck. But, so far, no such luck. I usually just end up digging a deeper hole when I feel a bit of success coming my way, to be honest. I'm very familiar with how to handle failure, perhaps a bit over qualified at feeling under qualified, so to speak, but not so much when it comes to the handling of being successful. That's quite foreign and pretty freakin' scary to me.

In the last two years alone, I've managed a drastic lifestyle change (thanks to a medical emergency), lost 110 lbs, feel more alive and healthy than I ever recall feeling, have a great support system in place, but I still continue to feel incredibly hopeless in my attempts of achieving any sense of "normalcy" in functioning, particularly as it's viewed/respected/appreciated/recognized by the masses, and continue to feel stuck in hopeless spaces, more often than not. I think that's why I grab onto all of the little beautiful moments as tightly as I can and try to make them last as long as possible. It's a rather disheartening state of existence, that's for sure.

 

[wish for escape]

My personal history includes, but isn't limited to, sexual abuse at the age of 13, then again...

i am so sorry you've had such a hard life, but I am glad that you still have hope and fight.

I think when being hurt or bullied so badly we desperately need someone to understand, but then over time I have come to understand that noone really will. I feel like I am even scared to be honest and open in therapy. Today has be especially hard, left home thinking that maybe today was the last day. Don't really have a support system or anyone to call or talk to.

The only way out is to save ourselves, and I think I have reached the end of the rope.