Dealing With Triggers/stressors Around People Who Don't Know You Have Ptsd

[Draiocht]

Quite a lot recently there have been times people I live with or colleagues at work want to watch/listen to something distressing. I don't know how to deal with these situations. I become paranoid they will piece together what is upsetting me if I keep refusing to watch certain films, documentaries, listen to particular radio shows, and I guess that takes the control over who knows out of my hands and I don't like it.

For an example working on something with a colleague and a programme on child sexual abuse or knife crime or whatever comes on. If I say to switch over the programme then he knows the content is upsetting me. If I excuse myself from the room I have nowhere at work that feels safe I can take a breather, and if I'm seen by my supervisor or other colleagues they will ask me why I'm not working/what's wrong. So I sit through it and try not to listen or take any of it on board, but the after effects of doing so can put me into a dissociative/hypervigilant tailspin for a few days.

How does everyone else manage situations like this?

 

[Kintsugi]

I have been there, and I'd like to tell you, as I tell myself... LOTS of people find distressing things distressing! Not only victims/survivors/whathaveyou. I know it feels like you're blowing your secret identity, but I think that's sort of PTSD paranoia, you know?

I can't watch anything too violent or otherwise upsetting past, like, 9-10:30pm. I just can't. I have to either watch stuff that is generally light-hearted or--better yet--only kid media. But hey, I know I woman who I am definitively certain has never been traumatized by abuse, and she will only go to the movies to see children's films... so it's not like I have a quirk only belonging to CSA survivors. :)

 

[Friday]

Virtually no one knows I have PTSD. I just don't tell people, as a general rule, and prior to a few years ago I had no idea how much of "me" was either symptomatic or coping mechanisms... So there wasn't even a question of telling people. This was just who I was.

I take much the same stance now that I know the causality.

And do many of the same things. I still leave when I need to, or Yo! Change the channel! when I have the authoritwa to do so.

The times I get "outed" as having PTSD? Have been near universally doing random shit; making eye contact in a car park, or just walking down the street. :O_o: So. Weird. But always by strangers (who know what to look for), and never the people closest to me (who see what they expect to see).

 

[Friday]

, I know I woman who I am definitively certain has never been traumatized by abuse, and she will only go to the movies to see children's films... so it's not like I have a quirk only belonging to CSA survivors. :)

LMAO ...My mom jokes the reason she HAD kids was to be able to see Disney Films in the theaters without getting looked at oddly.

 

[VioletButterfly]

A human being can be upset by seeing or hearing something upsetting without having been traumatized. I think it's how we internalize it and then react to those feelings. I choke up when watching animal rescue commercials and have to switch the channel. That's just the beginning of the list though. I tend more toward watching documentaries. Maybe work on your inner dialogue, being kind and compassionate with yourself. I think that voice leads us in how we interact with others.

 

[FireSign8]

I recently had one of those unexpected "tailspins" & it took me about 5 days to get my shit together. I was angry at myself for not being able to deal with a situation that I thought should have never turned out as it did! Then I started to think about it in a more logical manner (around day 3) & made a list of the pros & cons & how I could not put myself in that kind of a situation again. I never really came to a final conclusion, but it at least kept me busy & I got on the internet & searched for PTSD info & came across this website!...So, it had a silver lining under all that stinky shit that I waded into a few weeks ago. I never know what will trigger me until it happens & then I have to re-jig my life again! Never a dull moment.:spitdummy:

 

[Justmehere]

I will visually break out in a sweat at certain distressing things - and most people just think I don't like them. They really have no idea I have PTSD.

People are just not that aware of PTSD and etc. They just are not.

If they do ask me any questions I don't want to answer, I've learned to change the topic to almost everyone's favorite topic: themselves. It's taken time to do it without seeming super awkward - but it's getting easier. :)

 

[gealach]

I'm not sure what you do for work that a TV would be on, but I surmise that programs including sexual assault, child sexual assault, graphic violence, etc would still not be appropriate, even in a workplace that allows TV.

Asking to change the channel to something more appropriate is not unreasonable. Or do you even need to ask? Can you just change the channel?

If someone needs an explanation, keep it short, simple, and non-personal.... this just isn't appropriate workplace programming.

Slainte!

 

[Deleted member 39333]

If they do ask me any questions I don't want to answer, I've learned to change the topic to almost everyone's favorite topic: themselves. It's taken time to do it without seeming super awkward - but it's getting easier

I do the same thing all of the time. I am a master at deflection. I NEVER answer any questions about myself at all, but no one has ever really noticed. No one knows that I have PTSD except for my therapist.

 

[Friday]

I'm not sure what you do for work that a TV would be on, but I surmise that programs including sexual assault, child sexual assault, graphic violence, etc would still not be appropriate, even in a workplace that allows TV.

My hospital kept the BBC running 24/7 on one side of the ER & Disney Channel running on the other side of the ER. Sometimes I was hard pressed to determine which was worse :wtf: Please, please, please can we have an MVA or someone running naked through the halls so I have something to do? <<< Yes. I am a horrible person.

Same, my bar would keep the news on, unless there was a game.

Ditto, few other jobs I've had, news has been on a loop. Yay. Genocide, war, trafficking, trials at The Hague, potholes (wtf there's always some "local" dun-dun-dun in the middle of mayhem I will never figure out), sexual scandals, political stumping, drug scandals, assassination of so&so, riots, refugees, & now the weather, 14 dead in the latest flooding...

Probably the only thing worse than having the news loop, would be workin for the news?

FFS. Turn on the game!

 

[FauxLiz]

I know how I handle, I ask them to change the subject/channel/movie/YouTube video whatever as I don't believe that it is appropriate in the work place. If they push me on that, I generally default to saying that such items generally are accompanied by profanity and it is not proper to have items in a workplace that enlist that level of vocabulary. It is much easier to let them think that I am a prude about profanity than to otherwise explain myself. Just a thought.

 

[Towanda]

There are lots of good ideas here, but I want to throw out there that your PTSD is not a dirty secret. I understand that it's not everybody's business, but in some situations, it can be liberating to say, "Look, I have PTSD and this content triggers me, so please turn it off." I had a situation where a girl at work was getting married and the other girls were throwing her a bachelorette party. When it was going to be a gathering at a friend's house I was into it, but then they decided to have a "passion party" and there was even talk of hiring a stripper. I pulled the host aside and told her that I was going to have to bow out. I just said "I am a survivor of childhood sexual abuse and rape, and I won't be comfortable there. I want you guys to have a good time, but this one isn't going to be for me." I was nervous about having the conversation beforehand, but found that laying it out like that actually helped me to feel empowered in a way. She didn't have to have my whole story and didn't press for more information. She just said that she understood and respected my decision.