BPD Borderline personality disorder

[trying2movefwd]

I have PTSD from years of sexual abuse plus a relationship I was in as an adult. I've also been diagnosed with Borderline Personality Disorder. I know I have it or at least have just enough traits to meet diagnosis. I was in a trauma group yesterday talking about how I have lost support over talking about my mental health with friends (lots of struggle with suicidal ideation, i get tired of it myself) and now I am afraid to mention it to anyone for fear of abanabandonment. Anyway I was just curious how many here with childhood trauma have been diagnosed with ptsd and borderline personality disorder?

 

[FireSign8]

I received my PTSD diagnosis last after I became a victim in a violent crime that did not involve rape.
I never got help for childhood sexual abuse, but I did finally receive help after I overdosed on barbiturates in my high school days.
We did not have drug rehab centers in the 60's, so I was institutionalized in a state mental hospital & got to be a guinea pig with the rest of my age group. We were made wards of the court & legally taken out of the care of our parents for the time we were "incarcerated" for our deeds.
We broke no laws, yet we did disobey our parents & my cycle of abuse & healing & repeated rehealing started. To this day, I shun the mental health field due to the severe lack of healthy individuals that appear to be running the ship!

I see you have a cat in your profile photo. So, it may help to explain PTSD like this: PTSD is much like using a flea comb on an animal to rid them of their pests. The comb easily picks up the large fleas, but those babies are difficult to get & the eggs often fall off into the carpet & hatch as we sleep! In other words, it's a long & tedious process that is never ending. Yes, the toxic shampoo works, but it's only for a short time & the comb will always be needed if you want to have a comfortable life as a cat or as a human!<<<this is my take on PTSD!:watching:

Oh, and as for suicide, it got tired of that too because I figured out that I really didn't want to die, I just wanted my internal pain to end. I have come to grips with it & realize it's a part of me & I don't talk to people in real life about any of this stuff because most of them don't have a clue how to cope with their own daily lives, let alone my personal BS! So, I'm a loner & the internet is where I share. This website seems to be the safest place I have found because the readers come here to learn & that's what I do everytime I come here. Still learning at age 64! "Normal" people cannot keep up with those of us whose minds work in other dimensions:rolleyes:

You sound fine to me, if that's any help!:hug:<<<Please don't take that the wrong way. My humor is twisted too.

 

[Sophie's Daddy]

I received my PTSD diagnosis last after I became a victim in a violent crime that did not involve rap...

I have PTSD from years of sexual abuse plus a relationship I was in as an adult. I've also been...

I'm Borderline too, and it makes me feel good to know you've got a support group to (presumably) meet with personally. That puts you light years ahead of me in my recovery & gives me something more to work toward.

My biggest challenge of the many BPD presents is establishing a stable sense of identity.

I know these symptoms are all insidiously tangled and can never allow themselves to be confronted alone.

When I feel for a moment that I get ahold of one of them and another one creeps around behind me and kicks me square in the ass!

Yet I'm somehow surprised by it each time. Hmm.

It's no accident, though, that the metaphor I use is one of physical violence. Yep, that's a big part of what my "normal" was growing up.

And I totally relate to not wanting to mention being BPD to people close to me. It's the reason I've no people close to me any longer. We've little street cred-or anywhere cred-once that kitty cat's outta the bag!

My circle of influence/friendships went out with the end of my marriage last July and I've decided that isolation is preferable to trying to get out of social situations I absolutely dreaded.

I live full time in my RV with only my sweet girl doggie for company. So warm and cuddly on a chilly evening, and always so agreeable. Talk about having something to work toward.

Self care in this environment can get away from me, to the point where FS' example of the fleas is still accurate for me and Sophie, it's just that I'm the one with the fleas.

I know we're supposed to dread isolation yet abhor intimacy, which I do with vigor.

Only another Borderline (or a specialist, like the one who diagnosed me eight years ago- I'm 51 now) gets it. Well-intentioned others can and will say they do but, not so much.

What is the ol' saying about what the Road to Hell is paved with? $h!+! We know that the Real Road to Hell leads directly to us sometimes.

Yes, like you said FS8, recovery's the job of a lifetime, the gift that keeps on givin' the whole year through...

Wish I could say I was just kidding, but that leads me to my last, long-awaited point:

FireSign, I get what you say about that twisted sense of humor. I'm pretty sure nobody gets me either, except maybe me! See? Twisted, perhaps, but if I'm gonna be twisted, I'm gonna be Tiffany Twisted..!

I'm renting a room in the Hotel Colorado (sic)..!

With all the peace and hugs and kindness I can muster,

Rich and Sophie, from Denver

PS: We're in AZ now . It's still winter up there (hee-hee!)

 

[lostforgottensoul]

Anyway I was just curious how many here with childhood trauma have been diagnosed with ptsd and borderline personality disorder?

Me.

My therapist said last session that I don't remind him of the "typical BPDer" but am diagnosed with it nontheless. Also on Seriquel XR for it and that has helped A TON for emotional regulation. That and DBT but I didn't go through much of the DBT workbook so I can only credit the medication really.

 

[Sideways]

I can understand not wanting to tell anyone. The stigma around PTSD is bad, but it's got nothing on BPD, even from within the mental health profession. I've got traits (history of CSA, so it figures), and my sister has BPD. It sux that it's so misunderstood, because it really does respond well to treatment, particularly DBT.

Re your relationships, stick with it. For me, I tell people I've got PTSD pretty freely because here, you tend to get a pretty empathetic response (or at least that's been my experience), and a vague recognition of what it is. I don't tell people I have DID, because they don't need to know and wouldn't understand. Such is the case with BPD I expect. People don't understand.

But the good news is that it doesn't mean this has to be a secret forever. When we develop closer relationships, we build trust with someone, having a future with them becomes important, then sharing our full diagnosis may not only become more important, but also easier. If you've had a close relationship with someone for a while, and you finally feel ready to tell them you have BPD, it doesn't need to be scary, for either person. They already know you, and if they've been there through some ups and downs, then they'll know your personality, and the fact that your personality has been given a label, won't actually change anything. It's not like a degenerative condition or something that has hidden symptoms. It's just you. And you'll find someone who loves you for you, regardless of the label.

The great thing about the personality disorders set out in the DSM is that if any person on this planet sat down with a pdoc, they'd walk away being told they have at least traits of one personality disorder or another, the only difference is we've been diagnosed and they haven't (yet), and we're being treated!

It's awful getting the BPD label, but don't let it define you, or your relationships with others.

 

[trying2movefwd]

I am having fear of abandonment right now. Alanon sponsor hasn't answered my calls in a couple of days. I hope she didn't decide to "forget me" due to my mood swings, negativity, and depression. Why oh why do things like this freak me out?!?! I also fear relationships yet I fear losing relationships too. Ugh

 

[trying2movefwd]

Duhhhhh!! She is at the Alanon meeting and I am a dork!!!! :roflmao: still see there that kind of thinking.

 

[unbrokenwarrior]

I've been diagnosed with both, I have had a lot of childhood trauma. I've been dx with bpd for a good couple of years now, the ptsd was dx last year.

 

[Crow]

Best book I've read is below (sorry for the large font). Gave me a different perspective on borderline. It's a difficult read but luckily Kindle has a decent dictionary.
Living in the Borderland: The Evolution of Consciousness and the Challenge of Healing Trauma

 

[Beks]

I've had multiple traumas since young childhood, been told I have cPTSD after major adult trauma but not BPD even though reading about BPD and going through the listed symptoms recently matches me to 5/ 6 of them. My mum definitely matches BPD amongst other things. Im not going to look for help with it though after coming across an update report at a charity that the BPD stigma is so bad here (UK) that its near impossible to find help and that healthcare treats you like a waste of time, and Ive been treated like a timewaster by doctors nearly all my adult life so not going to bother. Hopefully something other than healthcare can help...

 

[lostforgottensoul]

Hopefully something other than healthcare can help.

DBT!

 

[purpleswirled]

I have diagnosis of BPD and one therapist mentioned it can be a form of Complex PTSD- i gioogled CPTSD and realised I had nearly all symptoms. Trouble is, I have some symptoms which are so uniquely hallmarks of BPD (the identity stuff, certain ways i interact with people) so I can't discard the BPD diagnosis totally.. It hasn't been all bad- when first diagnosed the stigma I had from mental health workers was horrendous but some years later I finally received proper help. i still battle but I am way more functiuonal than I used to be. Except when I do get triggered my episodes can be really horrendous still. The triggers I now have seem to be always based around the abuse i suffered and the fear it has left me with. In the past I think I had other reasons for triggers but DBT and God helped that a lot. But am left with the murky past.