Every Time I Start To Trust My S/o...

[Muted]

He turns on me. He's getting therapy, but will he ever change?

The cruelty is so sudden and out of nowhere, it just emotionally knocks me over. And he turns what he's unhappy about onto me like his life decisions are my fault.

I just don't get it and I don't know what to do anymore...

 

[Friday]

Therapy for what?

 

[Muted]

Therapy for what?

Some PTSD and narcissism or a narcissistic 'part'.

 

[Friday]

but will he ever change?

PTSD and narcissism or a narcissistic 'part'.

Then not likely, no.

It may become a lot more intermittent, and he may alter how he explodes given enough time & practice; but stress cup overflows, and bam! Hullo.

 

[Muted]

I know @Friday , I can't deal with this anymore.

 

[Finchlet2]

Love, genuine true searing love doesn't stop anyone receiving the brunt of our other halfs frustrations, it's like being there for someone everyday gives them the automatic right to pick on every word you say for no f*cking reason other than your sentences are too long and presumably the sound of your voice has become an annoyance. It also seems really common that the things about you your other half loves become invisible to them over time even if those things are actually progressively more prevelant in you. Also their efforts to orchastrate sex diminish and are replaced with demands for sex or complaints about what basically amounts to not being handed it on a plate. I guess what I'm trying to say is what your going through sounds quite similar to the state of play in my relationship at the mo but please say if I've got that wrong. Question to all; is this just a normal stage a relationship goes through?

 

[Gs172003]

He turns on me. He's getting therapy, but will he ever change?

The cruelty is so sudden and out of no...

He's afraid to get close. It's not an excuse it just IS.

 

[PTSD and wife]

Then not likely, no.

It may become a lot more intermittent, and he may alter how he explodes given enou...

So, I am interested in the Narcissism/PTSD you mentioned. My husband has an "it's all about me" attitude and rarely sees things any other way. It is impossible to have a conversation where he doesn't turn it around to him. Any actions he takes are for himself. I assumed that was PTSD. Case in point, I came home from working all day with a raging migraine. He had the TV up full blast. I told him I had a migraine and could he turn it down. "It IS down" he yelled at me. I waited a minute and when nothing happened, I asked him to use his headphones (best buy EVER!) which he did, but let me know with his grumbling that he wasn't happy. Mostly, I try to ignore it, but I was really hurting last night and he showed no concern at all. Any insight would be most appreciated.

 

[Kintsugi]

I am interested in the Narcissism/PTSD you mentioned

I suggest you start a thread in "Supporter Relationships." You'll get the most focused feedback that way.

NPD is a beast that is very different from PTSD, if you want to read about it. I think the OP is saying her sufferer has an alter who is a narcissist.

 

[PTSD and wife]

Thanks, I will see if I can find that!

 

[Freedomfighter]

He turns on me. He's getting therapy, but will he ever change?

The cruelty is so sudden and out of no...

Sorry, but he is getting therapy?

The one that is out of the blue cruel to you?

I was stuck with someone like that, cruelty out of nowhere, believe me that is someone that enjoys torturing you. And the best psychologist can not heal a psychopath.

It took me many years to realize that my ex was torturing me like that.

You are the one that needs therapy and if it turns out your partner is having psychopath tendencies then it is in your best interest to remove yourself from that toxic environment.

From what I have learned abusers only get worse, not better.

Save yourself while you can.

 

[Muted]

Sorry, but he is getting therapy?

The one that is out of the blue cruel to you?

I was stuck...

Yes, he's getting therapy. Yes, he is suddenly very cruel to me. It's often when I don't expect it and very sudden. Other times he is quite nice.

I am in therapy too, but thinking about taking a break for awhile.

I have become very stuck in many areas and I don't have a lot of strength to keep going.