Sexual Assault Can Anyone Relate?

[Someday Soon]

Rape...

Just the word sends my mind quickly attempting to dissociate or erase the letters from the page as I am quick to run away from anything that remotely traces back to my past.

Is anyone else like this? My therapist I believe is attempting to desensitise me to this word, however I feel like I am going to fall to pieces and sink to the depths of the earth or sadly die when this word is even mentioned in a completely non judgmental, caring, compassionate way when I am justifying the situation for being my fault.

Can anyone relate or share their ways around feeling like this? I am starting to think this word has so much more power over me then it ever should have.

 

[Gs172003]

I used to be. This site has helped with that tremendously

 

[Gs172003]

You know what I think helped me? Using it in context that wasn't exactly related to me then slowly getting closer. I wasn't in college. I was married with three kids. Just freaking typing this is difficult. But it's the truth. Talking about other scenarios first helped but I'm not completely ok and may never be.

 

[talon]

Rape...

Just the word sends my mind quickly attempting to dissociate or erase the letters from th...

You need to convey this as it is insensitive to use a word that is traumatic . There are other ways . Ensure they understand

 

[Frenzy3674]

Rape...

Just the word sends my mind quickly attempting to dissociate or erase the letters from th...

I write. I find it hard to even write some words. My T says words have power and I need to use the ugly ones. I don't know yet how I feel about that.

 

[talon]

I write. I find it hard to even write some words. My T says words have power and I need to use the u...

The ugly ones . Words are not the issue the emotions the fear these are the issue. Your emotions and fears not the therapists. Remember this that the best revenge is to get better

 

[physicist13]

Rape...

Just the word sends my mind quickly attempting to dissociate or erase the letters from th...

I definitely still have avoidance symptoms, but not so much with that word anymore

I mostly got over it by repeating it over and over (like hundreds of times) while driving alone in my car... just different voices, fast and slow until it was just another word

 

[Deleted member 37474]

The first time I said that word made me feel sick. I can say it now, quite easily, but when I sink into old mind patterns my friend will strongly say or write it down to kind of jolt me out of my painful self blame cycle.