Acts Of Kindness

[Lola Nocheprieta]

You being your kind self is all you need.

Yes, that. I agree with @Allie D. Listen to your friends, @Mal Content.

Oh, and Mal? it's okay to feel resentful or have thoughts and feelings that are less than perfectly angelic and unfailingly generous. You. Are. Human. And it's human to be a bundle of contradictions.

If I could, if I were closer, I would ask if I could come over to your house, maybe push you a little bit since you are isolating, gently, like a good friend would, shooing everyone else out of the house for the time being. I would put the kettle on (coffee, tea or cocoa, my dear?), and would have brought you some of my homemade chicken soup or pozole (do you like soup on a cold winter's day?), and Ghiardelli chocolate peanut butter squares straight from SF. I'd wrap you up in a big comforter, put you to bed, tidy up a bit. Then either stay and amuse myself if you want quiet company, or leave you to your peaceful solitude. Whichever you prefer. I get the sense that's the same or similar sort of act of kindness you would do for me, if you could.

Blessings, Lola

 

[Heather]

@Mal Content it's hard because there's so much pain this past year.

I'm trying to find a way out of this...its time to move forward.

But like anything.... 2 steps forward 5 steps back

 

[Deleted member 33052]

@Mal Content it's hard because there's so much pain this past year.

I'm trying to f...

2016 really was shit, wasn't it? I've got a bottle of bubbly just waiting to help me bid this year good riddance.

Heather, I hope 2017 is infinitely better for you. :hug:

 

[Deleted member 33052]

Yes, that. I agree with @Allie D. Listen to your friends, @Mal...

Lola, I'm feeling better already, in fact, I may have actually cracked a smile! Please do me one more kindness and tell yourself you're awesome! ((((Lola))))

 

[Lola Nocheprieta]

2016 really was shit, wasn't it? I've got a bottle of bubbly just waiting to help me bid this year...

Yes, here's to ushering out 2016 with a "don't let the door hit ya where the dog shoulda bit ya," and ushering in 2017 as just hella more manageable.

Please. That's all I ask.

 

[Rani G2]

So, yesterday I smiled at every person I saw. Got many smiles back. This is nothing new, though. Out here, strangers look you in the eye. My kids and I found it kind of creepy when we first moved out here.

@ Mal Content I kind of miss that environment, it doesnt mean I have to put up with it, I could start a pilot project by just being “kind“ and smile a little more. I miss that looking- in the -eye thing. There is a resonance, vibration to it which many people, especially here in big cities lack. In this country, lets say this city people are very private, its all about anonymity, securing your space, you hardly ever get any eye contact in the train, bus, grocery store. I guess thats a big city phenomenon.

 

[Deleted member 33052]

I forgot about this thread. :(

I've been dissociated more than I've been present for the last couple of months, I guess. Everything seems to be coated in that *who gives a f*ck* veneer of derealization. So, I'm going to try it again, because it's very hard to dissociate when performing acts of kindness.

I've been trying to help people to feel seen and heard. When I'm running errands, I keep myself receptive to people who are needing human contact. So, I've been doing a lot of listening. Elders, mostly, at the grocery store. This one poor woman was trying hard to chat with the cashier, who was busy and probably tired, and not interested. When I left the store, this same woman was trying to strike up a conversation with someone in the parking lot. In the drive lane, actually, right behind my car. My ego wanted to mow her down (I was tired, hungry and grumpy), but the rest of me felt sad for her, so I made eye contact, which was all the invitation she needed. Anyway, 10 minutes of my life made a lonely elder feel less alone, so we both left feeling better about the world.

 

[Lola Nocheprieta]

Glad to see you picking this up again, Mal, both for the intrinsic good it does in the world and as a mindfulness/grounding/present awareness antidote to dissociation.

It's hard to be here, to be present with our pain. But I'm proud of you -- and of myself -- for trying.

Today I saw one of my random acts of art kindness still in the same place as I left it months ago. Fhe colors all ran in the rain, so it's a white background again, but the writing is still there (being written with black waterproof calligraphy ink. I guess either no one visits the ouf of the way memorial garden at the hospital anymore, or else people have left it there to share. Either way, it inspired me to take that up again.

 

[Deleted member 33052]

Glad to see you picking this up again, Mal, both for the intrinsic good it does in the world a...

I'm really glad to hear that, Lola! If one piece of work is appreciated by one person you've done a great service to the world.

 

[Lola Nocheprieta]

If one piece of work is appreciated by one person you've done a...

Well, in truth, I'm not sure if a single other soul has seen this particular piece, but I find it interesting to see that it's still in place. Maybe as the weather improves more people will come sit by the memorial garden ...

 

[GrayOwl]

I forgot about this thread. :(

I've been dissociated more than I've been present for the last coup...

Thank you Mal bunches and bunches.
I've missed seeing you around lately - partly cuz I've been isolating and angry at the world some myself.
But your message here reminds me of what my life is all about and what I enjoy doing. I really do enjoy slowing down and getting out of the "mow'em down mode" and taking time to listen and make life more meaningful. it really puts a lot of my self pity into perspective and makes me realize I don't have it all that bad. Among other things. And it is nice to bring a little smile or sunshine In to someone else's life. Thanks !!
I hope things are going better for you too!!

 

[Deleted member 33052]

Thank you Mal bunches and bunches.
I've missed seeing you around lately - partly cuz I've been isolatin...

Boy, I appreciated reading your comment, GreyOwl! Thank you!

I'm still feeling pissed off at the world, but that beats the shit out of being pissed off at myself, so I'm just letting it happen. It's not so easy to stay pissed off when I feel the authentic care and encouragement of my beautiful PTSD family, though.

I had to revive this thread to remind myself that when I'm isolating (which I would love to spend the rest of my life doing), I'm not doing anything to make the world a better place. And the only way I can make sense of my pain is to try to ease someone else's.