Dom Violence Completely Different Personality After Ptsd. Anyone Else?

[420kitty]

Has anyone else become more outspoken and an outwardly stronger person after PTSD?

Before my ptsd I was a very quiet, low self worth and esteem. I was raised to be submissive to men and never had a strong female role model in my life.

After ptsd something in me just snapped. I think it was me being used so much throughout life. I started hating men (specifically white men), became blunt and honest with people (people really don't want honesty), and I started to state my beliefs and thoughts in person. I only care what certain people think of me now. I feel a lot stronger but at the same time more mentally exhausted. I do have days where I revert back to my old self but they don't last long. I changed most things about my persona. From my personality to looks (dyed my hair and lost a good amount of weight).

Has anyone else experienced this type of response? How were you before and after? Do you miss your old self at times?

 

[Beemo3780]

This happened to me, but only after getting to a really low point first. I went from being completely terrified of the outside world, to being a pretty strong person where not much gets to me now. My self esteem was nonexistent. I was raised to be perfect all of the time from one side of my family, but also had very strong women in my life on the other side. It took a long time for me to see my self worth.

Plus standing up to my abuser really helped me heal. I was so scared of the guy for years, and now I just see him for what he actually is.

I also used to be 20 lbs underweight and my hair would fall out in clumps because I was anxious all the time. I'm finally at a healthy weight, and my hair has grown in pretty thick.

I think it is very possible to use PTSD to actually help you rather than hinder you. I've also learned that having such a horrible past has only helped shaped who I am now, I've already been through hell and back. I can deal with crazy situations better, I'm usually the one that is calm during a crisis (like when we had a tornado where I live). A lot of the little stressors don't get to me anymore, because like my husband says sometimes, "You've seen some shit". You just need to put everything in perspective.

 

[420kitty]

I definitely relate to that. Thank you for sharing. Your perspective makes a lot of sense to me, and also makes me think.

 

[Deleted member 38644]

I'm just like this as well after domestic abuse. I'm very woke now and isn't afraid to say no. I do have times where I have flashbacks and cry about the times I was being beaten but I have had enough of people walking over me. I'm no longer quiet

PTSD has definitely changed me. There are so many things I am still learning that explains me. It's like you don't know who you are

 

[Freedomfighter]

Has anyone else become more outspoken and an outwardly stronger person after PTSD?

Before my ptsd I...

Yes, completely different person now. Went from rageful fear to a much more quiet and reserved person, for good reason. Since I am stalked from the same predators that caused me the pain that propelled me into PTSD, (now finding out that there were several predators who attempted to study me for much longer periods than I thought, who tried to knock others out of the ring without me knowing, who fought over their perceived right to abuse me...) I am a very careful person too.

I used to be extremely trusting and outgoing, chatting with everyone, but like you said: when you get PTSD something is broken irreversibly, much can be mended, but some can not be mended.

I am grateful for every step forward that I can take, to have the courage to address my traumas head on, and to live through that trauma. That alone has turned me into a much more quiet person than I ever used to be.

 

[Friday]

I came home a very different person than I left.

Some better. Some worse. I held onto a few pieces that still meant something to me, lost a great deal more. Grew up. Found myself. Lost myself. Broke. Put myself back together a time or three. Only natural, I suspect. Some things change. Some don't. Often surprising to find out which is which. Not what I would have expected them to be, that's for damn sure.

 

[Deleted member 38644]

I came home a very different person than I left.

Some better. Some worse. I held onto a few pieces that...

Your response always be right on! It never fails

 

[420kitty]

I'm just like this as well after domestic abuse. I'm very woke now and isn't afraid to say no. I...

I also still get flashbacks and triggers too. I cry it out and try to move on or out on some happy music. Thanks for sharing. :)

 

[ladee]

I am calmer than I've ever been. Lots of hard work to get here.
I appreciate that I am a fighter and no longer look at that as a disruptive thing.
None of it was easy. None of it.
But damned proud of the payoffs!

 

[420kitty]

Yes, completely different person now. Went from rageful fear to a much more quiet and reserved p...

Wow! I am so sorry that you went through that. It sounds very scary. I suppose grateful is all we can be after some progression. I definitely understand that aspect. Thanks for sharing your experience. :)

I came home a very different person than I left.

Some better. Some worse. I held onto a few pieces that...

It is definitely surprising which things change and don't. Thanks for sharing. This helps also. :)

 

[Deleted member 38644]

I also still get flashbacks and triggers too. I cry it out and try to move on or out on some happy mus...

The very same here

 

[FireSign8]

Do I miss my old self? HELL NO! But I do miss my young self on occasion. I let my hair go natural gray & stopped going out altogether for personal safety & living within my financial means. I am now officially poor & living on less than $900 a month without food stamps or food banks! I think I did just about everything I wanted to do when I was young & since I became a "victim" of a violent crime in 2001, I now call myself a "survivor" & try not to dwell on the past. I am painfully aware that it did change me in more ways than I can count. It left me broken in one way & altered in others, but who knows what my life would have become if it never happened to me. I just get through on a day to day basis & if I don't eat a meal or 2, I know it won't kill me!