Poll Do You Sleep With A Gun Under Your Pillow?

[GwenDR]

I'm absolutely terrified of guns. I couldn't sleep with one anywhere in the house.

 

[ms spock]

@Lauren Taylor this might be of interest?

 

[Deleted member 38644]

@Lauren Taylor this might be of interest?

Huh

 

[ms spock]

I thought that you started a thread about having a weapon to sleep with @Lauren Taylor?

 

[Frenzy3674]

Do you sleep with a gun under your pillow?

I wake up sometimes barricaded in my closet. Once I was holding my handgun. It scared me enough to get it out of the house for now.

 

[Noralee]

I read this question and getting through a panic attack. I think it best I share something...
'Funny' thing is my abuser who I refer to as "Soul Sniper" is just that - a real life sniper. Lots of guns in the house. But now that I escaped, and live far away things become clear and memories randomly happen. Finally getting some sleep because I feel safe which brings things to the surface. Ok, I am focusing. Head starts spinning with so many thoughts...
So, mornings with Soul Sniper would start out just dandy. We had a routine and it was pleasant and predictable. However, living with a sociopath, pleasant and predictable are the enemy and must be destroyed.
There were mornings when he needed to make drama before going to work. The things he would say and do would leave me feeling desperate, worthless and useless. This would be before the sun was up! Then, before he headed out for work, he would tuck me back into bed. The ritual also included him getting a handgun, holding it in front of me looking, oh so concerned, and then telling me he wanted to be sure I was safe and the gun was there for my protection. He would then slowly slide it under my pillow that I was resting on. WTF!?!
One day he left me in such a shamble that I did get the gun out and wanted to kill myself so badly. I laid in bed with this loaded gun (always fully loaded for me!) on my chest and against my head for a couple hours. And guess who came home early from work that day?????? Yup! Soul Sniper was worried and came home. I clearly recall him saying that something felt "off" with me that day and he was so worried and could not concentrate at work. If you know anything about narcissists/sociopaths you understand that this comment is bull and illustrates he was toying around with me and was hoping or trying to get me to kill myself. Since he is a blood thirsty sociopath, (also heard daily "I've killed for much less"), he was either intrigued or totally pissed off that I was stronger than he anticipated.
I am fine. I am in a safe location - with other DV survivors. It has been 105 nights since I left. Had to stay mobile so he would not find me - and had at least three knives on me at all times. Now in this location with DV support, needed to put my knives in my safe. So, I have done so. Still carry one when I leave the house however. Totally do not trust people. The journey is not easy or always fun however, I am moving forward - my life on my terms - for the first time. For this, I am grateful.
Hugs!

 

[8888]

No, me owning a gun would not be a safe situation.

 

[FireSign8]

I did for almost 5 years, but I stopped when I woke up one morning with my finger on the trigger & the safety was off. Not worth the risk if I cannot control what my hands do in my sleeping hours.

 

[Deadman]

I don't do it any more.

 

[Ronin]

Neither.

& I'm not gonna enable my suicidality.

 

[Moe Rumman]

Sleeping without mine feels like being stranded on a broken boat ...

 

[Blue Survivor]

Not personally, no. Back when my PTSD was much worse and I lived alone I'd sleep with a baton next to my bed. Yes, a baton used for twirling (not a police-type straight or expandable baton). Hey, it was better than nothing and it made me fee safe(r).

However my fiance is a cop and he always has one within reach when we're sleeping as well as a safe full of other firearms of varying calibers & sizes. When he's awake he's always carrying, even in the house. He is a former Marine too. I've gone shooting with him and think that it is fun, so guns don't make me nervous. I feel very protected in the event that we ever encounter a life or death situation.