Personality States Grounding

[7Cs]

Just wondering if anyone has had success grounding themselves when another personality state is "in front".

Sorry if my terminology is wrong. I'm not sure what it's called when you have awareness but lack control of a personality state or fragment.

I ask because I seem to be able to do this. Sometimes it takes me a few minutes to remember to do this but when I try (with what I think is a particular young state) I can pretty quickly bring myself back.

And curious does anyone else call their states "he" or "she" while knowing they are in fact yourself?

 

[Ronin]

We switch pronouns depending on who is up & the singlet persona us is a 'he' no exceptions.

But yeah, if referencing another person (-state), referencing them by the pronouns they go by, as much as the language we're communicating in allows.

Grounding, depends on how we're collectively / depends how the body is.
Those of us that lived or helped live through the more grizzly trauma tend to have harder time grounding in general.
& There are some of us that are simply grounding no matter what, most often the way they think & natural inclinations that just aren't accessible to other people unless that concrete self is up. It's a kind of I can mimick you & function as you, but you can't mimick me, because I'm calmer, thing.

 

[Deleted member 35429]

I am working very hard at this. I only have moments of switching in therapy, or right after therapy, and yes, I do refer to her as "her." This was alarming for both me and my therapist at first but this experience just doesn't feel like me, I don't know how else to explain this hijacking and her memories of trauma. It doesn't feel like me.

The more aware of this I am, the more fleeting these moments of her being "in front" as you put it. I'm not sure it's really that I control her though. I just think she's heard more now and doesn't need to be seen as much as she used to.

I am very curious if she'll ever feel like me... I completely understand this was me. This happened to my body, and my eyes saw it, but the part of my mind that went through it, isn't the mind I reside in.

 

[7Cs]

Those of us that lived or helped live through the more grizzly trauma tend to have harder time grounding in general.

"Those of us" meaning your various personality states or "those of us" with ptsd/ dissociative disorders?

If you mean personality states then it would make more sense that a younger more docile state would be easier to come out of so to speak than an older more aggressive state. Yes?

 

[7Cs]

the more fleeting these moments of her being "in front"

For me it is the opposite... seeing more of this state in therapy as time goes by. There are certain things we (T and I) talk about that just pop me right into it.

I am wondering, should I be grounding myself or should I just let her be there?


My husband thinks it's weird that I call them by pronouns. :/

 

[Journeyman]

For me it is the opposite... seeing more of this state in therapy as time goes by. There are certain things...

A pronoun is "a word that replaces a noun in a sentence" symbolically, that would make sense, right?
when you say "grounding", do you mean as in calming, or remaining aware as grounded to the one in front?

 

[7Cs]

A pronoun is "a word that replaces a noun in a sentence" symbolically, that would make sense...

It makes sense to me. I'm not calling them "it"!

By grounding in this scenario I mean bringing myself back to my usual self / in front... back in control.

 

[shimmerz]

Is your T bringing these states out on purpose? If not, does he have training in trauma type therapy? Is this just 'accidentally' happening?

My T used to ask me to recite my address when he wanted me back into my usual (for him) state. Or asked me math questions or to spell Mississippi. So I trained my friends to do the same. My friends would ask me all sorts of unusual questions so that we would have a gigglefest at the end of it. The sudden confusion of a messed up question and subsequent laughter brought me back ASAP.

 

[7Cs]

Is your T bringing these states out on purpose? If not, does he have training in trauma type therapy?...

She does have trauma training and has done seminars on the subject. I'm really happy to have found someone who knows what they're doing as far as complex trauma and dissociative disorders.

I've only been seeing her for a few months so at this point I don't think she can identify all of the things that set it off. I'm just learning some of them myself as I slowly explore topics that I previously avoided thinking about. Last session after it happened she said she had a feeling it was going to happen, evidently she noticed some tells early in the session or maybe she does know how to bring that particular state out and had planned it. I didn't realize what she was doing at the time but at the end of the session she asked me to tell her a silly story about my son. Later I realized that she was making sure I was "all there" before I left. My previous T had no idea and I would often leave in a somewhat disoriented state.

I've had good results with telling the state that I need to come back. I'm not immediately fully alert (a little dazed/ disoriented and disconnected) so once I gain some control I have to do typical grounding techniques with deep breathing and rubbing my finger against my fingernail helps. I'm wondering if that's normal.

One other thing is right after I started trying to get myself back my T didn't know this and tried to ask "me" if there was something I wanted to talk about. I think she was trying to talk to this younger part of me but I'm not completely sure.

 

[ms spock]

I can't do this yet. I am aware of the two parts. One part of me tries to talk out loud to the other part. It will (or I will) say "I am so sorry you have been having such a hard time". Or "I love you!' or stuff like that. That part doesn't want to respond or responds rarely. I don't really know how to manage it. I don't know how to ground with it. It is really hard to manage. I don't know if it will ever change or shift or if I will ever get to have access to the submerged part? Not even sure how to talk about it really.

I find grounding really hard. I am never sure if I am here or not alot of the time. This is an ongoing awareness now.

 

[Deeem]

I can't do this yet. I am aware of the two parts. One part of me tries to talk out loud to t...

The grounding technique that my therapist taught me was to identify three things in the room where I am that I didn't have in the past look at it's. Name three characteristics about the object you're looking at ex. shape size color is it hard soft small big etc. there are more tech nique's she taught me .

She does have trauma training and has done seminars on the subject. I'm really happy to have found someone...

She does have trauma training and has done seminars on the subject. I'm really happy to have found someone...

My therapist speak whatever part is out. She do not try and make them go away. She believes that each part deserves their time so that they don't feel neglected. I don't believe she makes them come out, however she works with whoever is present to help us to bring them from thinking we are still living in the past. I call my system inner parts, parts of myself or parts.

 

[Sideways]

While it's definitely crucial that I practice grounding pretty regularly, I think it's important not to overlook the value of developing trust and communication with your parts.

Certainly as my relationship with, and understanding of, my parts has improved , there has been increasingly less need for my parts to take over in the first place. If they have concerns, these days they know that they can trust me to listen and act if they have concerns.

That took a long time, and it was a pretty rocky road. But in essence, parts take over when they are distressed or feel unsafe. And so if I'm doing a good job in keeping all my parts feeling safe, feeling like I'm going to take care of their needs and concerns, they're mostly pretty happy to take a back seat.

That's critical, because while my older and more responsible parts have been able to learn grounding and communication skills, younger and more turbulent parts are still less likely to let me interfere if they've decided, for whatever reason, "I need to be in charge for a while ".