GrayOwl
Gold Member
I just got over here and read this posting. After reading your others this week.
Fighting for your sanity? Excuse me? You are just as sane as every one of us. We are all (most of us) decent, trusting human beings. And we try to extend that to our SO's. And we go pretty far out in doing so. So you're completely NORMAL getting in this spot. BUT!!!, you won't be normal if you stay there.
I imagine there are financial insecurities and emotional ties and insecurities that all play in there as well. All of these things play in to making us tolerate lots and lots of different things and abuses.
But he is using you. And ignoring his responsibilities. A back rub of that nature is an extremely arrogant statement - about many things - that the man is obviously too cowardly to speak open and honestly with you about.
Although I would be extremely angry(and hurt), I would certainly be looking for the amicable solution and exit strategy !!!
I understand needs and sharing. But, come on, there are limits. Please..........take your little beeeyitch to a motel. And don't display it on the living room couch and kitchen and everywhere else. And she's got some real balls coming in your house and making a statement in front of you like that.
Letting her use the trailer is quite amicable. I hope it has a toilet and a shower - cuz she wouldn't be stepping foot in my house again whilst I and my kids were living there - under any conditions.(You have that right-legally. I don't care who earns the income.) Otherwise I hope your yard has a tree and a pond.
It's certainly possible that a relationship can overcome these trials, but, in my humble opinion, for what it is worth, you need to set some boundaries, adhere to them, stay in therapy, and he needs to communicate, grow up, and make some decisions. And you are certainly within your rights to talk to a lawyer and move in separation directions - and promptly.
My wife and I have gone through a couple of uncomfortable situations like this over the years and grown through them, both with good reason to give up. So I cannot urge you either way - but you most certainly need to make some decisions.
You sound like you have a lot of great characteristics and 3 wonderful children that need a solid home life. I do feel, however, that once you overcome the fears, and please, do so, life will really move in positive directions for you. I have come through some difficulties and have realized some promises as a result of forging ahead through my troubles. Some of you may recognize a few of them:
We are going to know a new freedom and a new happiness.
We will not regret the past nor wish to shut the door on it.
We will comprehend the word serenity and we will know peace.
The feeling of uselessness and self pity will disappear.
Our whole attitude and outlook upon life will change.
Fear of people and of economic insecurity will leave us.
We will intuitively know how to handle situations that used to baffle us.
I've been working on applying these for 35 years and I am a slow learner.
But they have all come true for me. And they have helped me to work through situations like this.
I guess I'm saying, this is probably more normal than you can imagine. But YOU need to take care of yourself - that needs repeating over and over, every 5 minutes until you believe it. And things will get better.
Thanks for sharing. That takes courage.
Sorry if I've been too outspoken.
I'm usually much quieter.
Fighting for your sanity? Excuse me? You are just as sane as every one of us. We are all (most of us) decent, trusting human beings. And we try to extend that to our SO's. And we go pretty far out in doing so. So you're completely NORMAL getting in this spot. BUT!!!, you won't be normal if you stay there.
I imagine there are financial insecurities and emotional ties and insecurities that all play in there as well. All of these things play in to making us tolerate lots and lots of different things and abuses.
But he is using you. And ignoring his responsibilities. A back rub of that nature is an extremely arrogant statement - about many things - that the man is obviously too cowardly to speak open and honestly with you about.
Although I would be extremely angry(and hurt), I would certainly be looking for the amicable solution and exit strategy !!!
I understand needs and sharing. But, come on, there are limits. Please..........take your little beeeyitch to a motel. And don't display it on the living room couch and kitchen and everywhere else. And she's got some real balls coming in your house and making a statement in front of you like that.
Letting her use the trailer is quite amicable. I hope it has a toilet and a shower - cuz she wouldn't be stepping foot in my house again whilst I and my kids were living there - under any conditions.(You have that right-legally. I don't care who earns the income.) Otherwise I hope your yard has a tree and a pond.
It's certainly possible that a relationship can overcome these trials, but, in my humble opinion, for what it is worth, you need to set some boundaries, adhere to them, stay in therapy, and he needs to communicate, grow up, and make some decisions. And you are certainly within your rights to talk to a lawyer and move in separation directions - and promptly.
My wife and I have gone through a couple of uncomfortable situations like this over the years and grown through them, both with good reason to give up. So I cannot urge you either way - but you most certainly need to make some decisions.
You sound like you have a lot of great characteristics and 3 wonderful children that need a solid home life. I do feel, however, that once you overcome the fears, and please, do so, life will really move in positive directions for you. I have come through some difficulties and have realized some promises as a result of forging ahead through my troubles. Some of you may recognize a few of them:
We are going to know a new freedom and a new happiness.
We will not regret the past nor wish to shut the door on it.
We will comprehend the word serenity and we will know peace.
The feeling of uselessness and self pity will disappear.
Our whole attitude and outlook upon life will change.
Fear of people and of economic insecurity will leave us.
We will intuitively know how to handle situations that used to baffle us.
I've been working on applying these for 35 years and I am a slow learner.
But they have all come true for me. And they have helped me to work through situations like this.
I guess I'm saying, this is probably more normal than you can imagine. But YOU need to take care of yourself - that needs repeating over and over, every 5 minutes until you believe it. And things will get better.
Thanks for sharing. That takes courage.
Sorry if I've been too outspoken.
I'm usually much quieter.
