13 Reasons Why. On Netflix

[Deadman]

I couldn't watch the whole series. I got to the second or third episode. The view of suicide seemed a little too romanticized for my tastes. I've lost three friends to suicide. Two when I was young. Most recently it was a friend that I attended a PTSD group therapy program with.

There is nothing romantic about suicide. Ultimately its a selfish act. Suicide merely transfers pain from one person to others.

 

[grimalkin]

I am going to have to watch this series. I was suicidal as a youngster (from at 8, being comfortable with the idea of just ceasing to exist, to my teens and slightly beyond, being actively interested in killing myself). I was bullied (though I didn't think of it that way at the time) all through my school years, and I remember why I didn't tell anyone - because I knew it would just make it worse. Telling adults, if all that could happen is the kids doing the bullying would get a stern talking to, without actually removing either me or the others, from the situation? Yeah, that wouldn't go well. For me.

The only thing that stopped me from killing myself was that I realized I would only be making the lives of my loved ones worse. I'm not sure that everyone in a suicidal state can get to that realization.

I had close friends and parents I could talk to about "anything" (sort of - now, at 42, I'm starting to come to grips with the notion that my mom may not have been as unconditionally supportive and loving as I, or she, thought), and they really didn't have any idea of the darkness I was trying to keep at bay.

So yeah. I keep hearing about this show - I'm definitely curious!

 

[NoWhereKnowWhere]

I think if you see the suicide as romanticised you're totally missing the point.

It's about the turmoil and pain she leaves behind and the fact that all these people desperately need want to help but it's too late. When you're that age and have depression and are going through some horrible times with being raped and bullied you can't see straight I mean of course you can't. All she needed to do was reach out for help there were a few people who let her down but there were plenty of people who would've helped. suicide wasn't the only option. But at that age in those circumstances I can understand why she felt it was. All she needed was help it's hard enough without trying to handle all of it on your own. The amount of times I was nearly shouting at the TV "tell them" or something like that. That's what it's about that it's plain to see the carnage left behind and the missed opportunities for her to get the help she needed.

If you watch the end episode where she kills her self you can see how horrible it is the pain for her and when her mother finds her. The amount of times the thought of who would find me has saved my life is what I thought then.

 

[Deadman]

I think if you see the suicide as romanticised you're totally missing the point.

Like I said. I couldn't watch the whole series. Couldn't get past episode 2 or 3. Too painful for me. So yes I could easily have missed the point.

 

[NoWhereKnowWhere]

@Deadman yeah it was incredibly difficult to watch. I haven't been right since I think I probably shouldn't have watched it if I'm being honest with myself. But it did have content warnings that I ignored but was thankful for.

 

[Casey_03]

My problem is that they got to the grief and the real consequences way too late in the story. The first 8 or 9 episodes were sort of rosy (and even the opening sequence is) and it didn't get to the real pain until the very end. Apparently they had different writers and directors do the final episodes, which explains why it seemed (to me) like there was some sort of disconnect. You don't really feel the loss until the end, and for most of the series you can see the writers trying to drag out the suspense as long as possible, which made it feel very contrived. I think it would've been more powerful if they'd put scenes of the suicide in the earlier episodes, even if it was just glimpses. I honestly didn't feel any connection to Hannah, or even see her as a realistic person, until they got to the rape and her suicide. But up until then, she seemed very two-dimensional.

Though I have to say, I still don't really like the idea of the tapes being a sort of revenge on all the people who "let her down." Especially since she included some fellow students who arguably didn't do anything all that heinous (i.e. Alex, who teased her and behaved like an ass, but certainly didn't deserve to be told he was responsible for her killing herself). And then in the final episode, there is a hint that he kills himself out of guilt (it's not really clear if he did or if he was shot by that other student -- the writers included all that but then failed to every explain it .... which is another flaw I see in the writing that bothers me).

It troubles me that there is this powerful message against bullying, but then Hannah herself engaged in her own form of bullying from beyond the grave, which I think is a bit f*cked up.

 

[Khaleesi]

OMG I loved that show. I think it's amazing because it's not only the survivor's point of view, but it's also a bit "raw", they did show what was going on with Hannah, her confusion, her emotions, and they had the suicide scene, which some people thought it was too much. I don't think it was too much - we need to stop avoiding taboo topics, we need to talk about suicide. It's the only way we can understand and fight it.

 

[NoWhereKnowWhere]

@Casey_03 i did watch it all at once so I might've missed that.

 

[The Albatross]

I got Netflix recently and watched the series... actually am hoping they pick up another season cuz I'd sure like to see what the school counselor does and how he "processes" what he hears in light of his own actions and conscience.

There were a number of parallel or situations that I actually had personally dealt with when a high schooler or very young woman in there. Apparently I've dealt adequately with those scenarios because other than an edge of uncomfortability they had no direct impact on me, though I would not watch the actual suicide scene but hid my eyes and asked my mister if they were "showing" it.

I could see a number of "poor decision/choice" moments of Hannah... and how the whole thing snowballed. I liked that the series presented it the way they did, a bunch of individuals, even Hannah herself who took or didn't take pivotal actions and how the whole thing snowballed til it ended up in hopelessness and suicide.

I also was intrigued and encouraged by the two student characters that deviated from Hannah's instructions (one coming forward to the parents, the other skipping over the 12th person and giving the tapes to the school counselor).

I was though really perplexed with much of the "adult roles" in the series outside of the school environment. Quite alien to me... not in line with my personal experience at all. Which left me thoughtful, self reflecting, and examining for a while.

 

[EveHarrington]

I couldn't watch the whole series. I got to the second or third episode. The view of suicide seemed a l...

By this argument it's not selfish if nobody cares.

 

[Deleted member 33052]

I feel so down since I saw the serie. So many flash back about people and situations...I was bullied and...

You, my beautiful friend, are neither a bitch or a puta (yes, I know what it means) and you never have been. You're a gentle soul who had been burdened by too much pain. ((((((Maria)))))

I loved the show, btw. Watched it twice, discussed each episode with my daughters after viewing.

 

[Deleted member 33052]

@Deadman, I think that by the time she had made the decision to die, the romanticism had long disappeared. It was ugly. Uncomfortable. I've lost a best friend and a brother to suicide, yet I found this series well worth watching. If nothing else, it emphasizes the importance of asking for help.