D
Deleted member 41889
In October, 2016 I was admitted into the hospital for anorexia. The first thing my mom told me was that it was my fault, and that she would not be there for me if I ended up in the hospital again.
While in the hospital, I got the re-feeding syndrome. My mom would bring me extra food from the cafeteria downstairs and from home. Pizza, Ice Cream, trail mix. My mom just wanted my heart rate to go up so I could get out the of the hospital. My heart rate got to around 30 bpm. My therapist said she could have killed me.
When I returned home from the hospital, my mom would hide treats around the house. I would find carrot cake in the laundry room. Oreo's in random places, where she would go and tell me to look for something, and there they were. Then she would hide all the "bad" food in the house and tell me
I was not allowed to eat it. She said my face was starting to look chubby.
One night when I came home, I tried to eat a piece of pizza but my Aunt told me I was looking chubby. I got so frustrated. I didn't want the pizza anymore, I threw it on the ground while they were laughing at me and I ran upstairs.
At first, I went to see my therapist, I told her I was "fine" and I was off the hook. Then I landed up in the hospital, I had no choice, my therapist showed up while I was in the hospital.
Throughout therapy I had learned that my mother was no good for me. As things became more intense in my life, I came to the realization, my mom indeed did have sex with me when I was a child and it lasted longer than I can remember. I am still blocking some of it out. I'm not ready to remember the rest.
One day in session, right before my therapist terminated my therapy, which sucked because my therapist left me traumatized...... My therapist asked me... "did your mom have sex with you"
After that day, the memories came flooding, one after another.
My mom knows I know what she has done. My mom reads my text messages since it is under her plan. I told my aunt that mom molested me. My aunt never responded after that.
It became so intense, I tried to forget about them. Then I started texting my dance teacher. I told her my secret, but then I was texting her suicidal thoughts. She panicked, told someone else, and it got back to my mother.
My mom called the cops on me twice.
Then she went to court and made me go to the hospital.
She told the court I had anorexia, and a personality disorder. She has no right to say this.
I have borderline personality disorder but it's because of my mother.
My mother is a narcissist.
My social worker and doctor talked to my doctors I see as an outpatient. They told me that my mother is trying to sabotage me after I confronted her sexual abuse towards me, and that she is making false allegations regarding my mental health in court.
After I got out of the hospital, I texting my dance teacher again, and my text message storage ran out so she was not receiving any of my texts, and I wasn't receiving any of hers. She panicked, called my other dance teacher again and it got back to my mom.. AGAIN. My mom called the cops on me again, this time they told her charges would be pressed against her if she try's contacting me again.
The next day, my mom texts me. "I love you"... hahah are you kidding me.
My mom still acts like I am coming home, I have told her multiple times, that is not happening. My little sister showed me my Easter basket. It was filled with gifts..... She's acting like I'm still there. It's kind of creepy.
I don't think my mom will ever admit to what she did to me.
While in the hospital, I got the re-feeding syndrome. My mom would bring me extra food from the cafeteria downstairs and from home. Pizza, Ice Cream, trail mix. My mom just wanted my heart rate to go up so I could get out the of the hospital. My heart rate got to around 30 bpm. My therapist said she could have killed me.
When I returned home from the hospital, my mom would hide treats around the house. I would find carrot cake in the laundry room. Oreo's in random places, where she would go and tell me to look for something, and there they were. Then she would hide all the "bad" food in the house and tell me
I was not allowed to eat it. She said my face was starting to look chubby.
One night when I came home, I tried to eat a piece of pizza but my Aunt told me I was looking chubby. I got so frustrated. I didn't want the pizza anymore, I threw it on the ground while they were laughing at me and I ran upstairs.
At first, I went to see my therapist, I told her I was "fine" and I was off the hook. Then I landed up in the hospital, I had no choice, my therapist showed up while I was in the hospital.
Throughout therapy I had learned that my mother was no good for me. As things became more intense in my life, I came to the realization, my mom indeed did have sex with me when I was a child and it lasted longer than I can remember. I am still blocking some of it out. I'm not ready to remember the rest.
One day in session, right before my therapist terminated my therapy, which sucked because my therapist left me traumatized...... My therapist asked me... "did your mom have sex with you"
After that day, the memories came flooding, one after another.
My mom knows I know what she has done. My mom reads my text messages since it is under her plan. I told my aunt that mom molested me. My aunt never responded after that.
It became so intense, I tried to forget about them. Then I started texting my dance teacher. I told her my secret, but then I was texting her suicidal thoughts. She panicked, told someone else, and it got back to my mother.
My mom called the cops on me twice.
Then she went to court and made me go to the hospital.
She told the court I had anorexia, and a personality disorder. She has no right to say this.
I have borderline personality disorder but it's because of my mother.
My mother is a narcissist.
My social worker and doctor talked to my doctors I see as an outpatient. They told me that my mother is trying to sabotage me after I confronted her sexual abuse towards me, and that she is making false allegations regarding my mental health in court.
After I got out of the hospital, I texting my dance teacher again, and my text message storage ran out so she was not receiving any of my texts, and I wasn't receiving any of hers. She panicked, called my other dance teacher again and it got back to my mom.. AGAIN. My mom called the cops on me again, this time they told her charges would be pressed against her if she try's contacting me again.
The next day, my mom texts me. "I love you"... hahah are you kidding me.
My mom still acts like I am coming home, I have told her multiple times, that is not happening. My little sister showed me my Easter basket. It was filled with gifts..... She's acting like I'm still there. It's kind of creepy.
I don't think my mom will ever admit to what she did to me.
